In class with a kid we requested not to be with

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, my sister went through this with her daughter and the crazy mother of another little girl. The little girl would start something and then when it didn't end the way she wanted she would go home and cry to her mom, Her mom would go crazy sending emails and coming into class to volunteer "to keep an eye on things" and telling teachers and other parents that my niece was a "sociopath" (niece is a nice, normal kid. 9 years old.).

My sister's response to the first few texts and emails was "It sounds like the girls are learning about friendships/ sportsmanship/ taking turns whatever. I think the teachers are great at their job so let's let them handle it." After that, she ignored. It took the other adults about 30 seconds to figure out that the other mom was unhinged. My sister finally met with the teacher to express concern that someone who called her daughter a "sociopath" was allowed to volunteer, and the teacher let her know they were setting boundaries as necessary. She also talked about "confidentiality" and made some meaningful pauses during their talk, so my sister got the impression that everyone was one her side and handling it appropriately, but they couldn't really talk about it.

It is a private school. The woman toned it way down after no one cared that she threatened to withdraw her daughter. Since then she's sent my sister friendly texts wanting to get together. My sister still ignores her.

TL/DR either ignore her or respond to suggest teacher be allowed to handle conflicts as she sees fit. Meet with teacher if parent crazy starts to affect your kid at school.

Op wow this situation sounds exactly the same as mine. The unhinged mom is also signing up for all of the volunteering. I feel weird about it because a year ago when our kids were in preschool together she watched a movie where the mom kills the kids bully and said she has fantasies of doing the same to a kid is ever mean to her kid. She is obsessed with who is mean to her kid, like a kid will walk by and she’d whisper “I heard that kid is mean.” Meanwhile it was a normal tk student and she’s just going off the unreliable narration of her son. Anyway, I wound up emailing the teacher a quick note and she responded she was grateful for the information and would move their seats.

This reminded me of when we'd take our kids to a big indoor play place, andy friend pegged a couple of 2-3 year olds as "mean girls." She told her 3 year old to stay away from them. They were all typical interactions. I thought it was crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son went to camp this summer and didn’t get along with this kid. Their altercations were normal 5 year old horsing around but the real issue for me was the mother who kept calling me and wanting to have meetings about their friendship. It didn’t end well and I requested to the school that they not be in class together this year to avoid any further todo. Then school started and not only are they in class together but they are seated next to one another. How do I alert the teacher without sounding dramatic? Objectively this kid historically has problems with others and mine doesn’t so I hate to bring it up and set the precedent that my kid is the problem. Seeing the mom everyday is also giving me so much anxiety.

They are 5 year olds!

1) “this kid historically has problems with others“ Are you basing this on summer camp? Have they attended preschool together for years?
2) “ How do I alert the teacher without sounding dramatic?” This is a good way to start your kid’s ES career as “that mom”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You guys who are saying this is fiction do not hang out with other mom friends. I'm a new poster, I live in a different state, I have a kid in elementary and a kid in Middle school, and I could tell similar stories. It is completely believable to me.

I agree. I can totally believe this. Super anxious parents or parents who are in denial about their kids issues will do weird mental gymnastics to blame the issues on some one else. I would not be surprised if the car coming down your street was a coincidence but everything else sounds like something I could picture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I normally don't agree with the PPs who pile on the OP but here they have a point. Unless there is bullying or harmful behavior involved, I'd let it go. Your kid will learn valuable social skills. As for the other mom, I don't see how you could possibly see her daily. Do you go to the school every day with your kid? Do you walk in and see the other mother? I imagine that it could not be that frequent. When you do see her, smile, nod and excuse yourself quickly. She'll get the hint. Both you and your child will have learned to deal with a sticky situation by end of year.

PS - Try not to rope your child's teacher into too much drama. Sure, let her know that they don't get along but save your "I don't like that mom" drama for your DH

Yes. At our school you stand in front of the classroom with the kids before school and after. So, it’s awkward. Also, this mom creates problems where there are none, so them seated together means there’s more of an opportunity to perpetuate this nightmare of her kid the victim and mine must apologize to him. Exhausting, and he is friends with every other kid in the class so why not ask to sit next to literally anyone else?

Omg OP you are an absolute nightmare!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son went to camp this summer and didn’t get along with this kid. Their altercations were normal 5 year old horsing around but the real issue for me was the mother who kept calling me and wanting to have meetings about their friendship. It didn’t end well and I requested to the school that they not be in class together this year to avoid any further todo. Then school started and not only are they in class together but they are seated next to one another. How do I alert the teacher without sounding dramatic? Objectively this kid historically has problems with others and mine doesn’t so I hate to bring it up and set the precedent that my kid is the problem. Seeing the mom everyday is also giving me so much anxiety.

This is called Karma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son went to camp this summer and didn’t get along with this kid. Their altercations were normal 5 year old horsing around but the real issue for me was the mother who kept calling me and wanting to have meetings about their friendship. It didn’t end well and I requested to the school that they not be in class together this year to avoid any further todo. Then school started and not only are they in class together but they are seated next to one another. How do I alert the teacher without sounding dramatic? Objectively this kid historically has problems with others and mine doesn’t so I hate to bring it up and set the precedent that my kid is the problem. Seeing the mom everyday is also giving me so much anxiety.

Why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I normally don't agree with the PPs who pile on the OP but here they have a point. Unless there is bullying or harmful behavior involved, I'd let it go. Your kid will learn valuable social skills. As for the other mom, I don't see how you could possibly see her daily. Do you go to the school every day with your kid? Do you walk in and see the other mother? I imagine that it could not be that frequent. When you do see her, smile, nod and excuse yourself quickly. She'll get the hint. Both you and your child will have learned to deal with a sticky situation by end of year.

PS - Try not to rope your child's teacher into too much drama. Sure, let her know that they don't get along but save your "I don't like that mom" drama for your DH

Yes. At our school you stand in front of the classroom with the kids before school and after. So, it’s awkward. Also, this mom creates problems where there are none, so them seated together means there’s more of an opportunity to perpetuate this nightmare of her kid the victim and mine must apologize to him. Exhausting, and he is friends with every other kid in the class so why not ask to sit next to literally anyone else?

Omg OP you are an absolute nightmare!!!

+1