In class with a kid we requested not to be with

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, my sister went through this with her daughter and the crazy mother of another little girl. The little girl would start something and then when it didn't end the way she wanted she would go home and cry to her mom, Her mom would go crazy sending emails and coming into class to volunteer "to keep an eye on things" and telling teachers and other parents that my niece was a "sociopath" (niece is a nice, normal kid. 9 years old.).

My sister's response to the first few texts and emails was "It sounds like the girls are learning about friendships/ sportsmanship/ taking turns whatever. I think the teachers are great at their job so let's let them handle it." After that, she ignored. It took the other adults about 30 seconds to figure out that the other mom was unhinged. My sister finally met with the teacher to express concern that someone who called her daughter a "sociopath" was allowed to volunteer, and the teacher let her know they were setting boundaries as necessary. She also talked about "confidentiality" and made some meaningful pauses during their talk, so my sister got the impression that everyone was one her side and handling it appropriately, but they couldn't really talk about it.

It is a private school. The woman toned it way down after no one cared that she threatened to withdraw her daughter. Since then she's sent my sister friendly texts wanting to get together. My sister still ignores her.

TL/DR either ignore her or respond to suggest teacher be allowed to handle conflicts as she sees fit. Meet with teacher if parent crazy starts to affect your kid at school.

Op wow this situation sounds exactly the same as mine. The unhinged mom is also signing up for all of the volunteering. I feel weird about it because a year ago when our kids were in preschool together she watched a movie where the mom kills the kids bully and said she has fantasies of doing the same to a kid is ever mean to her kid. She is obsessed with who is mean to her kid, like a kid will walk by and she’d whisper “I heard that kid is mean.” Meanwhile it was a normal tk student and she’s just going off the unreliable narration of her son. Anyway, I wound up emailing the teacher a quick note and she responded she was grateful for the information and would move their seats.

YIKES I’d try and distance myself from her as much as possible

[Anonymous]

Op if anyone cares for an update with this: I emailed the teacher to switch seats and she responded and thanked me for the information and then they moved. Then the mother calls me and requests to have another meeting to clear the air and move forward. I declined and said I’m done, but let’s hope for a good year and defer to the teacher for further discussions. She went nuclear and has started telling our mutual friends she won’t be friends with them if they remain friends with me and I can feel her glaring at me in the pick up line. Yesterday I got a notification that she liked one of my old Facebook photos from 2007 and we aren’t even friends and saw her driving down my street (we live in quiet street with just a few houses), I feel like she’s lost her mind. Meanwhile she is trying to become part of the parent teacher organization and room parent so I feel like she will be running the show and we will have to interface at some point. Any advice on how to get through this year?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op if anyone cares for an update with this: I emailed the teacher to switch seats and she responded and thanked me for the information and then they moved. Then the mother calls me and requests to have another meeting to clear the air and move forward. I declined and said I’m done, but let’s hope for a good year and defer to the teacher for further discussions. She went nuclear and has started telling our mutual friends she won’t be friends with them if they remain friends with me and I can feel her glaring at me in the pick up line. Yesterday I got a notification that she liked one of my old Facebook photos from 2007 and we aren’t even friends and saw her driving down my street (we live in quiet street with just a few houses), I feel like she’s lost her mind. Meanwhile she is trying to become part of the parent teacher organization and room parent so I feel like she will be running the show and we will have to interface at some point. Any advice on how to get through this year?

Don't engage; don't create drama. If she is the room parent, so be it, though you may "accidentally" get left off of things like emails or holiday cards, so be prepared to do your own thing (or get info from a friend). How other parents react to her will likely depend (sadly) on how "cool" they perceive your DS to be compared to hers. If they think her DS will be popular, they are going to put up with her behavior because they won't want their kids left out. I would focus on forming a school community outside of this classroom and separate from this mother. On social media, I would adjust my privacy settings so that you only your friends can see your posts.

[Anonymous]

I find that if a person is pyscho/low moral character/petty/etc., everyone finds out eventually. Ignore her. Keep looking out for your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son went to camp this summer and didn’t get along with this kid. Their altercations were normal 5 year old horsing around but the real issue for me was the mother who kept calling me and wanting to have meetings about their friendship. It didn’t end well and I requested to the school that they not be in class together this year to avoid any further todo. Then school started and not only are they in class together but they are seated next to one another. How do I alert the teacher without sounding dramatic? Objectively this kid historically has problems with others and mine doesn’t so I hate to bring it up and set the precedent that my kid is the problem. Seeing the mom everyday is also giving me so much anxiety.

A mom at our elementary school had the same issue. It was very stressful. However, they were not able to move her child to another class because in this particular elementary school, all the children with IEPs are placed in one class. Because both the children had IEPs, they wouldn't move them even though there was another class for the same grade with less students in that class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op if anyone cares for an update with this: I emailed the teacher to switch seats and she responded and thanked me for the information and then they moved. Then the mother calls me and requests to have another meeting to clear the air and move forward. I declined and said I’m done, but let’s hope for a good year and defer to the teacher for further discussions. She went nuclear and has started telling our mutual friends she won’t be friends with them if they remain friends with me and I can feel her glaring at me in the pick up line. Yesterday I got a notification that she liked one of my old Facebook photos from 2007 and we aren’t even friends and saw her driving down my street (we live in quiet street with just a few houses), I feel like she’s lost her mind. Meanwhile she is trying to become part of the parent teacher organization and room parent so I feel like she will be running the show and we will have to interface at some point. Any advice on how to get through this year?

Yikes OP - I initially thought you were being dramatic but this lady sounds unhinged. I agree with the advice to sit back, act pleasant/normal and avoiding engaging. If she really is this crazy, it will become clear to other people sooner than later…and you will look like a normal, class act

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op if anyone cares for an update with this: I emailed the teacher to switch seats and she responded and thanked me for the information and then they moved. Then the mother calls me and requests to have another meeting to clear the air and move forward. I declined and said I’m done, but let’s hope for a good year and defer to the teacher for further discussions. She went nuclear and has started telling our mutual friends she won’t be friends with them if they remain friends with me and I can feel her glaring at me in the pick up line. Yesterday I got a notification that she liked one of my old Facebook photos from 2007 and we aren’t even friends and saw her driving down my street (we live in quiet street with just a few houses), I feel like she’s lost her mind. Meanwhile she is trying to become part of the parent teacher organization and room parent so I feel like she will be running the show and we will have to interface at some point. Any advice on how to get through this year?

Yikes OP - I initially thought you were being dramatic but this lady sounds unhinged. I agree with the advice to sit back, act pleasant/normal and avoiding engaging. If she really is this crazy, it will become clear to other people sooner than later…and you will look like a normal, class act

The question is why did you even pick up the phone when she called? You should not be engaging with her at all and it sounds like you are.

[Anonymous]

It sounds so stressful I’m sorry, I would be polite and nice but busy - always greet her pleasantly but “need” to talk to someone else and move on quickly. I would really minimize being with her 1:1 agree not to talk on the phone but just text back something like oh, I’m confident the kids can work this out on their own! Hope you are doing well!

And really try to minimize the time your kid spends with hers. Gah!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op if anyone cares for an update with this: I emailed the teacher to switch seats and she responded and thanked me for the information and then they moved. Then the mother calls me and requests to have another meeting to clear the air and move forward. I declined and said I’m done, but let’s hope for a good year and defer to the teacher for further discussions. She went nuclear and has started telling our mutual friends she won’t be friends with them if they remain friends with me and I can feel her glaring at me in the pick up line. Yesterday I got a notification that she liked one of my old Facebook photos from 2007 and we aren’t even friends and saw her driving down my street (we live in quiet street with just a few houses), I feel like she’s lost her mind. Meanwhile she is trying to become part of the parent teacher organization and room parent so I feel like she will be running the show and we will have to interface at some point. Any advice on how to get through this year?

Don't engage; don't create drama. If she is the room parent, so be it, though you may "accidentally" get left off of things like emails or holiday cards, so be prepared to do your own thing (or get info from a friend). How other parents react to her will likely depend (sadly) on how "cool" they perceive your DS to be compared to hers. If they think her DS will be popular, they are going to put up with her behavior because they won't want their kids left out. I would focus on forming a school community outside of this classroom and separate from this mother. On social media, I would adjust my privacy settings so that you only your friends can see your posts.

Is this how people are? I am ready to move to mars

[Anonymous]

OP's follow up is over top and drawing from Lifetime Movies. No credibility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, my sister went through this with her daughter and the crazy mother of another little girl. The little girl would start something and then when it didn't end the way she wanted she would go home and cry to her mom, Her mom would go crazy sending emails and coming into class to volunteer "to keep an eye on things" and telling teachers and other parents that my niece was a "sociopath" (niece is a nice, normal kid. 9 years old.).

My sister's response to the first few texts and emails was "It sounds like the girls are learning about friendships/ sportsmanship/ taking turns whatever. I think the teachers are great at their job so let's let them handle it." After that, she ignored. It took the other adults about 30 seconds to figure out that the other mom was unhinged. My sister finally met with the teacher to express concern that someone who called her daughter a "sociopath" was allowed to volunteer, and the teacher let her know they were setting boundaries as necessary. She also talked about "confidentiality" and made some meaningful pauses during their talk, so my sister got the impression that everyone was one her side and handling it appropriately, but they couldn't really talk about it.

It is a private school. The woman toned it way down after no one cared that she threatened to withdraw her daughter. Since then she's sent my sister friendly texts wanting to get together. My sister still ignores her.

TL/DR either ignore her or respond to suggest teacher be allowed to handle conflicts as she sees fit. Meet with teacher if parent crazy starts to affect your kid at school.

Op wow this situation sounds exactly the same as mine. The unhinged mom is also signing up for all of the volunteering. I feel weird about it because a year ago when our kids were in preschool together she watched a movie where the mom kills the kids bully and said she has fantasies of doing the same to a kid is ever mean to her kid. She is obsessed with who is mean to her kid, like a kid will walk by and she’d whisper “I heard that kid is mean.” Meanwhile it was a normal tk student and she’s just going off the unreliable narration of her son. Anyway, I wound up emailing the teacher a quick note and she responded she was grateful for the information and would move their seats.

Pretty sure the other mom isn't the unhinged one....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op if anyone cares for an update with this: I emailed the teacher to switch seats and she responded and thanked me for the information and then they moved. Then the mother calls me and requests to have another meeting to clear the air and move forward. I declined and said I’m done, but let’s hope for a good year and defer to the teacher for further discussions. She went nuclear and has started telling our mutual friends she won’t be friends with them if they remain friends with me and I can feel her glaring at me in the pick up line. Yesterday I got a notification that she liked one of my old Facebook photos from 2007 and we aren’t even friends and saw her driving down my street (we live in quiet street with just a few houses), I feel like she’s lost her mind. Meanwhile she is trying to become part of the parent teacher organization and room parent so I feel like she will be running the show and we will have to interface at some point. Any advice on how to get through this year?

Liar, liar, pants on fire.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP's follow up is over top and drawing from Lifetime Movies. No credibility.

+1 But I lowkey love how credulous everyone is. She parked overnight in front of your house in a Scream mask and is running for PTA President on a "burn OP at the stake" platform? Wow OP I am on your side now! DCUM is a soap opera for people without TVs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP's follow up is over top and drawing from Lifetime Movies. No credibility.

+1 But I lowkey love how credulous everyone is. She parked overnight in front of your house in a Scream mask and is running for PTA President on a "burn OP at the stake" platform? Wow OP I am on your side now! DCUM is a soap opera for people without TVs.

And how does OP know all these details of the other mom's private life? Like going to therapy, personal issues, stuff she's saying, past beefs, that she's trying to become a school volunteer and join the PTA... I wouldn't even know that much about my friends. This is fiction for sure, but WHYYYYY? I wish I had this kind of free time.

[Anonymous]

You guys who are saying this is fiction do not hang out with other mom friends. I'm a new poster, I live in a different state, I have a kid in elementary and a kid in Middle school, and I could tell similar stories. It is completely believable to me.