In class with a kid we requested not to be with

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can't possibly think a school is going to make classroom assignments based on which mom annoys which other mom. If the kids' behavior was age-appropriate, there's really no reason for the school to do anything different.

Nobody wants to be in a class with a difficult kid, but 20+ kids have to do it every year.

+1 op, you are absolutely ridiculous. The issue is between you and the other mom. Not the kids.

[Anonymous]

I bet they intentionally put your kids together to help YOU develop social skills. Lol

[Anonymous]

OP, I normally don't agree with the PPs who pile on the OP but here they have a point. Unless there is bullying or harmful behavior involved, I'd let it go. Your kid will learn valuable social skills. As for the other mom, I don't see how you could possibly see her daily. Do you go to the school every day with your kid? Do you walk in and see the other mother? I imagine that it could not be that frequent. When you do see her, smile, nod and excuse yourself quickly. She'll get the hint. Both you and your child will have learned to deal with a sticky situation by end of year.

PS - Try not to rope your child's teacher into too much drama. Sure, let her know that they don't get along but save your "I don't like that mom" drama for your DH

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can't request that your kid not be in a class because you don't like his mom. If that were the case, I'd be requesting my kid not be in class with half the grade!! You sound loony.

Yep. This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I normally don't agree with the PPs who pile on the OP but here they have a point. Unless there is bullying or harmful behavior involved, I'd let it go. Your kid will learn valuable social skills. As for the other mom, I don't see how you could possibly see her daily. Do you go to the school every day with your kid? Do you walk in and see the other mother? I imagine that it could not be that frequent. When you do see her, smile, nod and excuse yourself quickly. She'll get the hint. Both you and your child will have learned to deal with a sticky situation by end of year.

PS - Try not to rope your child's teacher into too much drama. Sure, let her know that they don't get along but save your "I don't like that mom" drama for your DH

Yes. At our school you stand in front of the classroom with the kids before school and after. So, it’s awkward. Also, this mom creates problems where there are none, so them seated together means there’s more of an opportunity to perpetuate this nightmare of her kid the victim and mine must apologize to him. Exhausting, and he is friends with every other kid in the class so why not ask to sit next to literally anyone else?

[Anonymous]

Wait, your kid has been picking on hers and had to apologize and your description of their interactions is "historically her kid has problems with other kids"? You should say less because it just keeps getting worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait, your kid has been picking on hers and had to apologize and your description of their interactions is "historically her kid has problems with other kids"? You should say less because it just keeps getting worse.

I mean the narrative of being the victim. He’s not actually a victim but without revealing too much, she’s got a lot of issues surrounding her own life and intense paranoia that people are being mean to her and her kid. She’s in a lot of therapy etc but has these delusions that people are slighting her when they aren’t.

[Anonymous]

Ugh. This sounds like a nightmare. Only 177 more days to go!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait, your kid has been picking on hers and had to apologize and your description of their interactions is "historically her kid has problems with other kids"? You should say less because it just keeps getting worse.

I mean the narrative of being the victim. He’s not actually a victim but without revealing too much, she’s got a lot of issues surrounding her own life and intense paranoia that people are being mean to her and her kid. She’s in a lot of therapy etc but has these delusions that people are slighting her when they aren’t.

Op, you're well within your rights to minimize contact with the mom. You're not in school with these two boys--just let the teacher know that the two boys occasionally have fought, and that the other parent has highlighted their concerns to you, and you wanted to make sure that the teacher was aware. The teacher will do their job and deal with it if it's an issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
If it was serious enough to make me request a separation, and it was not honored, I would be following up with the school to know WHY and whether they could make a switch even now.

However if the child is not the problem but the mother is, I would not have requested a separation in the first place. I got into an argument with a fellow parent (and neighbor!!!), and of course our kids were then put in the same class the following year. We just ignored each other.

Because they aren’t required to honor your “request.” That’s why.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait, your kid has been picking on hers and had to apologize and your description of their interactions is "historically her kid has problems with other kids"? You should say less because it just keeps getting worse.

I mean the narrative of being the victim. He’s not actually a victim but without revealing too much, she’s got a lot of issues surrounding her own life and intense paranoia that people are being mean to her and her kid. She’s in a lot of therapy etc but has these delusions that people are slighting her when they aren’t.

Op, you're well within your rights to minimize contact with the mom. You're not in school with these two boys--just let the teacher know that the two boys occasionally have fought, and that the other parent has highlighted their concerns to you, and you wanted to make sure that the teacher was aware. The teacher will do their job and deal with it if it's an issue.

Op: The mother is definitely more of the problem for sure, but she has sort of created a monster by really obsessing (since preschool!) who was mean to him and he therefore feigns sadness and then she goes on a wrath against that child. Even if the kid wasn’t actually mean to him, and even if he was actually mean to the kid! Example: her son took and hid my kids shoes and made my kid run around the rocks barefoot at camp and then ny kid made fun of his smelly feet, and then because her son was upset by the smelly feet comment I got call about the harsh words about the feet and it blows up into this whole thing where she wants to discuss how my kid needs to watch his words etc etc. it’s just a strange situation I want to avoid, hence not sitting next to one another

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait, your kid has been picking on hers and had to apologize and your description of their interactions is "historically her kid has problems with other kids"? You should say less because it just keeps getting worse.

I mean the narrative of being the victim. He’s not actually a victim but without revealing too much, she’s got a lot of issues surrounding her own life and intense paranoia that people are being mean to her and her kid. She’s in a lot of therapy etc but has these delusions that people are slighting her when they aren’t.

Op, you're well within your rights to minimize contact with the mom. You're not in school with these two boys--just let the teacher know that the two boys occasionally have fought, and that the other parent has highlighted their concerns to you, and you wanted to make sure that the teacher was aware. The teacher will do their job and deal with it if it's an issue.

Op: The mother is definitely more of the problem for sure, but she has sort of created a monster by really obsessing (since preschool!) who was mean to him and he therefore feigns sadness and then she goes on a wrath against that child. Even if the kid wasn’t actually mean to him, and even if he was actually mean to the kid! Example: her son took and hid my kids shoes and made my kid run around the rocks barefoot at camp and then ny kid made fun of his smelly feet, and then because her son was upset by the smelly feet comment I got call about the harsh words about the feet and it blows up into this whole thing where she wants to discuss how my kid needs to watch his words etc etc. it’s just a strange situation I want to avoid, hence not sitting next to one another

OP if this is really what is going on, the teacher will catch on super quick that the other kid’s mom is a bit of a psycho. Let the school handle it, preferably without them also concluding that you too are a psycho.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son went to camp this summer and didn’t get along with this kid. Their altercations were normal 5 year old horsing around but the real issue for me was the mother who kept calling me and wanting to have meetings about their friendship. It didn’t end well and I requested to the school that they not be in class together this year to avoid any further todo. Then school started and not only are they in class together but they are seated next to one another. How do I alert the teacher without sounding dramatic? Objectively this kid historically has problems with others and mine doesn’t so I hate to bring it up and set the precedent that my kid is the problem. Seeing the mom everyday is also giving me so much anxiety.

OP: I think that you moved too quickly in your attempt to address your concern. Hindsight reveals that you should have remained quiet unless/until a problem occurred at this school, then address it with the school teacher and principal. This is why so many posters identify the real issue as being between the mothers and not between the children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can't possibly think a school is going to make classroom assignments based on which mom annoys which other mom. If the kids' behavior was age-appropriate, there's really no reason for the school to do anything different.

Nobody wants to be in a class with a difficult kid, but 20+ kids have to do it every year.

That’s not true. Nobody wants to deal with two kids who don’t get along. Usually a school will accommodate requests like these to avoid disruptions for the rest of the class.

lololol.

That’s preposterous. If there is assault or bullying involved, maybe. Just don’t get along? No. That’s ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait, your kid has been picking on hers and had to apologize and your description of their interactions is "historically her kid has problems with other kids"? You should say less because it just keeps getting worse.

I mean the narrative of being the victim. He’s not actually a victim but without revealing too much, she’s got a lot of issues surrounding her own life and intense paranoia that people are being mean to her and her kid. She’s in a lot of therapy etc but has these delusions that people are slighting her when they aren’t.

Op, you're well within your rights to minimize contact with the mom. You're not in school with these two boys--just let the teacher know that the two boys occasionally have fought, and that the other parent has highlighted their concerns to you, and you wanted to make sure that the teacher was aware. The teacher will do their job and deal with it if it's an issue.

Op: The mother is definitely more of the problem for sure, but she has sort of created a monster by really obsessing (since preschool!) who was mean to him and he therefore feigns sadness and then she goes on a wrath against that child. Even if the kid wasn’t actually mean to him, and even if he was actually mean to the kid! Example: her son took and hid my kids shoes and made my kid run around the rocks barefoot at camp and then ny kid made fun of his smelly feet, and then because her son was upset by the smelly feet comment I got call about the harsh words about the feet and it blows up into this whole thing where she wants to discuss how my kid needs to watch his words etc etc. it’s just a strange situation I want to avoid, hence not sitting next to one another

OP if this is really what is going on, the teacher will catch on super quick that the other kid’s mom is a bit of a psycho. Let the school handle it, preferably without them also concluding that you too are a psycho.

+1