Would you gray divorce a “roommate” spouse if…

[Anonymous]

I remember my mother talking with me about how relationships evolve over time from being passionate love to one that is deeply caring. It sounds like OP is looking for the excitement of a new relationship that doesn’t have all of the baggage of a long-term one, which involves responsibilities, commitments, and compromise.

I’m a similar age and in a valley in terms of our marriage at the moment, but I know that this won’t last forever. I am not wiling to throw away 30 years of shared history simply because I find a lot of things “annoying” or I don’t want to do certain things. If you leave your wife, OP, things may be better for you, but they may also get worse. If you look for a younger woman, be prepared for more children or, step-this, step-that, and having to re-build your life. Do you really have the appetite to do that? And look at your finances. Will you be ok with having half of what you have now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I remember my mother talking with me about how relationships evolve over time from being passionate love to one that is deeply caring. It sounds like OP is looking for the excitement of a new relationship that doesn’t have all of the baggage of a long-term one, which involves responsibilities, commitments, and compromise.

I’m a similar age and in a valley in terms of our marriage at the moment, but I know that this won’t last forever. I am not wiling to throw away 30 years of shared history simply because I find a lot of things “annoying” or I don’t want to do certain things. If you leave your wife, OP, things may be better for you, but they may also get worse. If you look for a younger woman, be prepared for more children or, step-this, step-that, and having to re-build your life. Do you really have the appetite to do that? And look at your finances. Will you be ok with having half of what you have now?

PP here. I agree with your mom if the relationship started out that way. Some marriages don't and they should end in divorce. I do agree with you that in this situation, the OP just seems bored.

[Anonymous]

OP, she does not get to nag you constantly. You do not get to blame her for being bored with your life.

Create the life for yourself that you want for yourself - nothing is stopping you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Why are you posting about about sleeping around with FWBs in a thread about companionate marriage?

I was responding to the post where a poster said that

"Late 50’s you will be luck (sic) to have sex twice a month"

and that

old person sex does nit (sic) come close to sex as a young person

.

You would have known that had you read my post. Here is the entire post (poor grammar and all):

BS it an extreme high. Late 50’s you will be luck to have sex twice a month. Also old person sex does nit come close to sex as a young person.

The PP's writing style is similiar to yours (for example,

Why are you posting about about (sic) sleeping around

). If you are the PP, do not be a coward. Own it.

Cool story bro?

I am not your bro. Please get off mom's computer. I am sure you have homework.

I suggest focusing on your English classes. Your grammar needs work.

What on earth? Lol. Okay grandpa, yes, of course you have sex twice a day. That’s nice. Don’t forget your pills, dear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:… doing so would not be overly burdensome on your economic situation and your kids are out of the house?

I can see reasons to stay together, like companionship, even better economics, family unity, etc., but we like to spend time differently and she constantly nags me to do stuff I don’t want to do. Basically, we have different life and social priorities. We’re both in our mid-50’s, and I’m unsure I want to live my golden years this way. If you’re wondering, we have sex about once a week or two.

In essence, the relationship is OK, but not stimulating or interesting and a bit annoying to me. I’m guessing a lot of relationships are like this, and I may be fantasizing about something that doesn’t really exist, but I’m curious to hear from others in a similar situation.

you have sex once or twice a week!? And you don’t get along? Sounds like a good deal to me. I’m lucky to get sex three times a year.

[Anonymous]

What on earth? Lol. Okay grandpa, yes, of course you have sex twice a day. That’s nice. Don’t forget your pills, dear.

Dear PP,

You are confused. I said I had sex twice a week (see my post at 08/23/2022 0950). You think you are responding to the poster at 08/23/2022 0852 who posted he has sex twice a day.

You should read (and understand) what someone wrote before responding.

Try to read something more challenging than what you normally read so you can sharpen up. Reading your usual fare (e.g., "Comso's 50 tips to give your man the best BJ EVER!") leaves your mind weak.

[Anonymous]

I haven’t read the entire thread, but OP, think of your adult children. Divorcing now would likely really suck for them - they’d have to figure out new relationships with each of you, they’d have no family home, would be on the hook for separate elder care and support if that time comes, etc. Divorcing at midlife because everything isn’t amazing and exciting sounds extraordinarily selfish.

[Anonymous]

OP sounds like he's having a mid-life crisis and is dealing with it by unraveling his decades-long, stable marriage. Grow up.

[Anonymous]

Sex twice a week is not a "roommate" situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP sounds like he's having a mid-life crisis and is dealing with it by unraveling his decades-long, stable marriage. Grow up.

OP is a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sex twice a week is not a "roommate" situation.

OP actually said: “we have sex about once a week or two” that is FAR from “twice a week” more like once every 10 days. Definitely too low for me to remain happily married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Don't all marriages end up like this?

I am staying because:
1. Money. Separate homes are more expensive. Kids need college tuition. Retirement is less expensive as a couple.
2. Social life. Our circle is all married, with all more or less similar marriages. There is a lot of stability there, all the kids are happy and balanced. Divorce would be disruptive to our community of friends and families.
3. I don't really want to live by myself, and finding another partner and learning to live with a new person just sounds like a giant hassle!

THIS! ALL OF THIS!!

[Anonymous]

Could this be the pandemic and spending too much time together without enough other stimulation? I'd give it a little more time to see how things go with more activities available, etc.