Would you have a serious relationship with someone with 200k in student loan debt?

[Anonymous]

You all are ridiculous. UVA in state tuition is $20k/year. Let’s assume they swing some room and board at $10k (which is ramen noodle living).

That’s $90k of debt right there. Sure she didn’t chase the money as a major, but not everyone is groomed for even knowing that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am dating this wonderful 23 years old woman who recently graduated from Wake Forest with 220K in student loan debt majoring in education. She is about to start her job at FCPS for 53k/yr. I graduated from UVA debt free. I would like to get serious with her but the student debt is a big concern for me. WWYD?

This is exactly how Wall Street makes your kid a slave. Remember Obama demanding that every kid should go to college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I would not. My DH had 70k of student debt when we first met and was paying it down very slowly. I worked really hard to pay mine off quickly, so I had none. I wanted to save up and pay his off quickly, he didn’t want to do that. It’s honestly the biggest thing we fought about and now that he got the loans forgiven we finally don’t really argue about money. 200k of debt is insane for undergrad.

This is OP. I am 25 years old. I graduated from UVA at the age of 20 and have been working at Apple for the past five years, making around 250K/yr as a SWE. I have about 500K in the bank. I live rent free in a condo that my parents own and I don't have to pay for food because I eat breakfast/lunch/dinner with my aunt & uncle who live in the same building as I do. I don't mind paying off her student loan debt if she is "the one". My mother was a retired MontCo public school teacher.

This sounds fake.

I agree this sounds fake. The OP says he has a serious concern about her student debt, but then has an epiphany two hours later and says he doesn't mind paying off her student loan debt. WTF? So see how it goes and see if she is the one. Not brain surgery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

This is OP. I am 25 years old. I graduated from UVA at the age of 20 and have been working at Apple for the past five years, making around 250K/yr as a SWE. I have about 500K in the bank. I live rent free in a condo that my parents own and I don't have to pay for food because I eat breakfast/lunch/dinner with my aunt & uncle who live in the same building as I do. I don't mind paying off her student loan debt if she is "the one". My mother was a retired MontCo public school teacher.

Either it's fake or you are a moocher.

Moochers don't pay for other people, even if she's the one.

By the time of the divorce, her debt would probably be around $500k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why we need to have public loan forgiveness. It is ridiculous that public school teachers have that kind of debt. SMH.

um no... she was an idiot to do that, and now she even realizes that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am dating this wonderful 23 years old woman who recently graduated from Wake Forest with 220K in student loan debt majoring in education. She is about to start her job at FCPS for 53k/yr. I graduated from UVA debt free. I would like to get serious with her but the student debt is a big concern for me. WWYD?

This is exactly how Wall Street makes your kid a slave. Remember Obama demanding that every kid should go to college?

I thought that was Clinton, but I guess everything is Obama's fault.

In any case, the fault is with the person not the POTUS, whoever that was.

No sane person should take out $200k loan to major in education.

I fault education in general for not teaching our kids about loans and finances.

[Anonymous]

I just asked DH.. he said he would still have married me given how I am pretty frugal and good with my money. BUT, he said if I was not good with money, and didn't watch my spending, the no, he wouldn't.

But I still can't get over how OP mooches off his family and had family support, but thinks the woman might mooch off of him. I just can't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

She went to the a school based on fit/rank/whatever rather than based on what she could afford. People really need to tell donut hole kids (and poor kids and schools that are stingy with grants) to go to cheaper schools where they belong.

But the maximum federal student loan she could have taken was about $27,000 total for undergraduate.

Who who loaned her the other $173,000?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I would not. My DH had 70k of student debt when we first met and was paying it down very slowly. I worked really hard to pay mine off quickly, so I had none. I wanted to save up and pay his off quickly, he didn’t want to do that. It’s honestly the biggest thing we fought about and now that he got the loans forgiven we finally don’t really argue about money. 200k of debt is insane for undergrad.

This is OP. I am 25 years old. I graduated from UVA at the age of 20 and have been working at Apple for the past five years, making around 250K/yr as a SWE. I have about 500K in the bank. I live rent free in a condo that my parents own and I don't have to pay for food because I eat breakfast/lunch/dinner with my aunt & uncle who live in the same building as I do. I don't mind paying off her student loan debt if she is "the one". My mother was a retired MontCo public school teacher.

I’m Asian and you sound Asian. You are shameful. Such a man child I bet raised like a little entitled prince.

This girl needs to run from you. You will always be a beta dependent on your family. Pathetic.

This is OP. I received a full-ride 4 years academic scholarship to UVA, tuition + room/board. I am making 250k/yr at Apple, and I am financially independent. I stay at my parents' condo because it is sitting empty and they are always traveling. They also have their own house. I am saving money and responsible with money. What is your problem?

The young lady I am dating regretted her decision to attend WF because she got caught up in the moment. She is a tutor on weekends to make extra money to pay off the student loan. She is still living with her parents, drives a 15 years old car so that she can pay off the student loans faster. She was very honest about her student loan situation after our 3rd date, and yes, she is very pretty.

aww.. OP, you sound sweet actually. I hope you are not a troll.

I think in this circumstance, it is OK to develop a serious relationship with her. She regrets the financial decision to have taken such a big loan, and is trying to pay it down more quickly. If you do get serious and get married, you have a very high salary and no loans to pay off yourself; together with a wife who has learned to be frugal, you guys will do absolutely fine.

[Anonymous]

What is this person's background? It doesn't seem like her family was in a position to help her pay for college and they may not have been in a position to help her understand the financial burden she was taking on. Perhaps this person thought she was going to major in business when she took on the debt and then for whatever reason, ended up being drawn to education. She is young at 23 and you are probably young too, so the stakes are a little lower then if you were 30 or 35 and she didn't need to tell you about her financial situation this early on, so doing that shows that she has a lot of integrity and isn't trying to "trap" you in anything.

I would encourage her to explore loan forgiveness (I think some or all? public school teachers are eligible after 10 years). The other thing that I would add is that people change careers. A lot could change for her in the next ten years. I wouldn't write her off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I would not. My DH had 70k of student debt when we first met and was paying it down very slowly. I worked really hard to pay mine off quickly, so I had none. I wanted to save up and pay his off quickly, he didn’t want to do that. It’s honestly the biggest thing we fought about and now that he got the loans forgiven we finally don’t really argue about money. 200k of debt is insane for undergrad.

This is OP. I am 25 years old. I graduated from UVA at the age of 20 and have been working at Apple for the past five years, making around 250K/yr as a SWE. I have about 500K in the bank. I live rent free in a condo that my parents own and I don't have to pay for food because I eat breakfast/lunch/dinner with my aunt & uncle who live in the same building as I do. I don't mind paying off her student loan debt if she is "the one". My mother was a retired MontCo public school teacher.

I’m Asian and you sound Asian. You are shameful. Such a man child I bet raised like a little entitled prince.

This girl needs to run from you. You will always be a beta dependent on your family. Pathetic.

This is OP. I received a full-ride 4 years academic scholarship to UVA, tuition + room/board. I am making 250k/yr at Apple, and I am financially independent. I stay at my parents' condo because it is sitting empty and they are always traveling. They also have their own house. I am saving money and responsible with money. What is your problem?

The young lady I am dating regretted her decision to attend WF because she got caught up in the moment. She is a tutor on weekends to make extra money to pay off the student loan. She is still living with her parents, drives a 15 years old car so that she can pay off the student loans faster. She was very honest about her student loan situation after our 3rd date, and yes, she is very pretty.

aww.. OP, you sound sweet actually. I hope you are not a troll.

I think in this circumstance, it is OK to develop a serious relationship with her. She regrets the financial decision to have taken such a big loan, and is trying to pay it down more quickly. If you do get serious and get married, you have a very high salary and no loans to pay off yourself; together with a wife who has learned to be frugal, you guys will do absolutely fine.

+1

OP, Sounds like you are a talented and fortunate young man, who has found a good woman. She is putting forth extra effort (tutoring) and not living the high life (older car + living at home). You have the means to make this work, so if things keep going well for the relationship, and she keeps showing that she's the kind of person who takes responsbility for her choices, then I think this could be very good for you. Money reflects priorities and if she has the values that appear to match yours, then don't let the loans be a deal-breaker. Character is what makes a relationship work. The student loans will go away -- but character will always be there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to better understand why the debt was accumulated. $200k for four years is $50/year. If her family needed the aid, presumably WF would have provided some grants. So, what’s up with her parents? Did they have a budget for state schools, but she elected WF and to pay the difference? Did her parents hit financial difficulty/bankruptcy? Did she work during school or summers to help pay? $200k for undergraduate school is crazy, so you need to unpack this. It could be totally rational or a huge red flag.

Working during the summer would not make an appreciable difference. She probably wasn't able to make more than $3-5K max as an undergrad during the summer (she was an education major, not an Econ major) and that may have gone to things like paying for her phone plan, car insurance, clothing, meals, etc.

[Anonymous]

I wish OP would post about her parent’s role in all this. I’m just curious. Something weird happened here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am dating this wonderful 23 years old woman who recently graduated from Wake Forest with 220K in student loan debt majoring in education. She is about to start her job at FCPS for 53k/yr. I graduated from UVA debt free. I would like to get serious with her but the student debt is a big concern for me. WWYD?

I would have sex with this woman, but I would not consider a serious relationship with her. Assuming you're the same age, you have your entire life in front of you. Don't ruin it already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
This is OP. I received a full-ride 4 years academic scholarship to UVA, tuition + room/board. I am making 250k/yr at Apple, and I am financially independent. I stay at my parents' condo because it is sitting empty and they are always traveling. They also have their own house. I am saving money and responsible with money. What is your problem?

The young lady I am dating regretted her decision to attend WF because she got caught up in the moment. She is a tutor on weekends to make extra money to pay off the student loan. She is still living with her parents, drives a 15 years old car so that she can pay off the student loans faster. She was very honest about her student loan situation after our 3rd date, and yes, she is very pretty.

I'm sure she's the hottest babe you think you'll ever land. Why can't you just date for fun? You make $250k/yr at Apple, I'm sure women are offering to have your babies all the time.