Would you have a serious relationship with someone with 200k in student loan debt?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All I can say is, “Shame on Wake Forest” and this woman’s parents.

Agreed, but also shame on her. She’s an adult who took out loans for a degree she knew wouldn’t pay much. Yes, even 18 year olds need to be smarter than this.

+1she could’ve worked summers and during the school year. It sounds like she just automatically took out the max allowed instead of the bare minimum

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I would not. My DH had 70k of student debt when we first met and was paying it down very slowly. I worked really hard to pay mine off quickly, so I had none. I wanted to save up and pay his off quickly, he didn’t want to do that. It’s honestly the biggest thing we fought about and now that he got the loans forgiven we finally don’t really argue about money. 200k of debt is insane for undergrad.

This is OP. I am 25 years old. I graduated from UVA at the age of 20 and have been working at Apple for the past five years, making around 250K/yr as a SWE. I have about 500K in the bank. I live rent free in a condo that my parents own and I don't have to pay for food because I eat breakfast/lunch/dinner with my aunt & uncle who live in the same building as I do. I don't mind paying off her student loan debt if she is "the one". My mother was a retired MontCo public school teacher.

You make $250K/yr and you’re freeloading off your aunt and uncle for three meals a day? Someone tell that teacher to run.

This. You should find someone equally as cheap.

An equally attractive wife with no debt because mommy and daddy foot her entire college career including a useless degree who never had to learn the lesson to be careful of debt, and to be frugal to pay off debt? Could cost you a lot more in the long run.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I would not. My DH had 70k of student debt when we first met and was paying it down very slowly. I worked really hard to pay mine off quickly, so I had none. I wanted to save up and pay his off quickly, he didn’t want to do that. It’s honestly the biggest thing we fought about and now that he got the loans forgiven we finally don’t really argue about money. 200k of debt is insane for undergrad.

This is OP. I am 25 years old. I graduated from UVA at the age of 20 and have been working at Apple for the past five years, making around 250K/yr as a SWE. I have about 500K in the bank. I live rent free in a condo that my parents own and I don't have to pay for food because I eat breakfast/lunch/dinner with my aunt & uncle who live in the same building as I do. I don't mind paying off her student loan debt if she is "the one". My mother was a retired MontCo public school teacher.

You make $250K/yr and you’re freeloading off your aunt and uncle for three meals a day? Someone tell that teacher to run.

This. You should find someone equally as cheap.

An equally attractive wife with no debt because mommy and daddy foot her entire college career including a useless degree who never had to learn the lesson to be careful of debt, and to be frugal to pay off debt? Could cost you a lot more in the long run.

This is obviously anecdotal, but my most indebted (but highly paid) friend is consistently the most irresponsible with money and continues to take on consumer and other debt to maintain a lifestyle that looks a certain way. People I know with help from parents continue to get help from them to purchase houses and other major expenses. It’s a huge boon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm shocked by the responses on this thread. This girl was what, 17, 18 when she made this choice? Good grief. There are a number of ways to handle this if you even get to the point where it matters. If she plans on being a teacher long term she was never going to be a big financial contributor to your possible future family anyway. And she's 23--it's very possible she could pivot to a higher paying career at some point. I do agree her attitude about it now and plan going forward matters.

I agree on some points. She made a poor decision and hopefully learned from this mistake. Only the OP knows her current spending patterns- any $1000 purses in the closet? Run.

I have an adult DC with a significant other with 200kplus debt [grad school]but high earning potential. Some of my friend's kids have high debt and low income based on choice of majors. And are not steady income stream earners like an FCPS teacher.

This sort of thing really complicates the whole student loan forgiveness debate since even at 17 or 18 these people should be cognizant of the ramifications of the debt.

So the only way for the nation to get teachers is to give visas to foreign teachers or to hope that a handful of the population who can afford college without debt will choose teaching.

Is this really a way forward for the nation?

Plenty of ways to attend college without much debt. The key is a teacher does not need to attend WF, or any elite school, and really should not do that if they cannot afford it. Their starting salary will not allow them to have $200K in debt.
Find one that is only 20-25K/year, take 5K fed loans each year and cashflow the rest--kid can earn $10-15K working each year and parents can contribute $10K. My state has several great schools for education majors that are $25K or less all in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm shocked by the responses on this thread. This girl was what, 17, 18 when she made this choice? Good grief. There are a number of ways to handle this if you even get to the point where it matters. If she plans on being a teacher long term she was never going to be a big financial contributor to your possible future family anyway. And she's 23--it's very possible she could pivot to a higher paying career at some point. I do agree her attitude about it now and plan going forward matters.

I agree on some points. She made a poor decision and hopefully learned from this mistake. Only the OP knows her current spending patterns- any $1000 purses in the closet? Run.

I have an adult DC with a significant other with 200kplus debt [grad school]but high earning potential. Some of my friend's kids have high debt and low income based on choice of majors. And are not steady income stream earners like an FCPS teacher.

This sort of thing really complicates the whole student loan forgiveness debate since even at 17 or 18 these people should be cognizant of the ramifications of the debt.

So the only way for the nation to get teachers is to give visas to foreign teachers or to hope that a handful of the population who can afford college without debt will choose teaching.

Is this really a way forward for the nation?

Plenty of ways to attend college without much debt. The key is a teacher does not need to attend WF, or any elite school, and really should not do that if they cannot afford it. Their starting salary will not allow them to have $200K in debt.
Find one that is only 20-25K/year, take 5K fed loans each year and cashflow the rest--kid can earn $10-15K working each year and parents can contribute $10K. My state has several great schools for education majors that are $25K or less all in.

Elite colleges should not teach majors in education

[Anonymous]

That’s an awful thing to say. Where else would we get those passionate, dedicated, idealistic TFA folks who build entire teaching careers after graduating from Darty, Williams, or Yale? /s

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't in the situation the OP talks about. I am a teacher myself and graduated debt free (my parents paid a third, I paid a third, I got the other third in scholarships). I know I am privileged to have had any parent help. But, I also attended a school that those three things could pay for. 200K debt to be a teacher? Hell no.

If the situation was that I was marrying someone who came from poverty, and needed to take out massive loans because they had no family help, had to take out loans to be able to feed themselves while in school, were supporting family or something....that'd be different, maybe. Or if the person went to school for some extremely high paying field. But a lower paying one? Has she gotten a second job to help pay off her loans early? Has she been extremely, extremely frugal (ie, living at home with parents, biking to work, only shopping at Aldi, not ever going out to eat) in order to pay off her debt early? Then maybe.

There are colleges out there for lower paying fields where you can graduate with less debt. For me, I'd worry about this persons ability to make good decisions. I get making bad ones, I've made many myself, but 200K in debt to go into teaching???????

[Anonymous]

You could be this woman who has loans that are now $895k

https://www.yahoo.com/news/meet-doctor-895-000-student-101500635.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

She went to the a school based on fit/rank/whatever rather than based on what she could afford. People really need to tell donut hole kids (and poor kids and schools that are stingy with grants) to go to cheaper schools where they belong.

But the maximum federal student loan she could have taken was about $27,000 total for undergraduate.

Who who loaned her the other $173,000?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tk_Iie0ZyAk

This woman owed 280K in loan with an undergraduate degree from Penn State.

[Anonymous]

Yikes unless everything was a match and she is the most attractive (sex drive, health goals, shared responsibilities, generosity, etc…). Can you not find someone better? If not, sure.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP,

I'm assuming you are on the younger side since you are dating someone who is 23.

I'm reminded of the time I dated the socially prominent lawyer who told me he had $90,000 in credit card debt from his former marriage. Of course he blamed it on his exwife. I had never met someone with such serious consumer debt. I was shocked.

Dating is about meeting a lot of people and seeing who is the right fit. Look long and hard before getting serious with someone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm shocked by the responses on this thread. This girl was what, 17, 18 when she made this choice? Good grief. There are a number of ways to handle this if you even get to the point where it matters. If she plans on being a teacher long term she was never going to be a big financial contributor to your possible future family anyway. And she's 23--it's very possible she could pivot to a higher paying career at some point. I do agree her attitude about it now and plan going forward matters.

I agree on some points. She made a poor decision and hopefully learned from this mistake. Only the OP knows her current spending patterns- any $1000 purses in the closet? Run.

I have an adult DC with a significant other with 200kplus debt [grad school]but high earning potential. Some of my friend's kids have high debt and low income based on choice of majors. And are not steady income stream earners like an FCPS teacher.

This sort of thing really complicates the whole student loan forgiveness debate since even at 17 or 18 these people should be cognizant of the ramifications of the debt.

So the only way for the nation to get teachers is to give visas to foreign teachers or to hope that a handful of the population who can afford college without debt will choose teaching.

Is this really a way forward for the nation?

Let me clue you in on something - most, if not all, state schools have a school of education providing training for future teachers. Quite a few of them actually started as teachers colleges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

She went to the a school based on fit/rank/whatever rather than based on what she could afford. People really need to tell donut hole kids (and poor kids and schools that are stingy with grants) to go to cheaper schools where they belong.

But the maximum federal student loan she could have taken was about $27,000 total for undergraduate.

Who who loaned her the other $173,000?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tk_Iie0ZyAk

This woman owed 280K in loan with an undergraduate degree from Penn State.

https://admissions.psu.edu/costs-aid/tuition/
How was that possible? In state $32,279 X 4=$129,080
Out of state Out of state $51,635 x 4=$206,540

Maybe she was a Virginia resident NOT admitted to VA state schools so a UVA could collect higher amounts from non-residents? Maybe she was from NJ but wanted to go to Penn State instead of Rutgers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm shocked by the responses on this thread. This girl was what, 17, 18 when she made this choice? Good grief. There are a number of ways to handle this if you even get to the point where it matters. If she plans on being a teacher long term she was never going to be a big financial contributor to your possible future family anyway. And she's 23--it's very possible she could pivot to a higher paying career at some point. I do agree her attitude about it now and plan going forward matters.

I agree on some points. She made a poor decision and hopefully learned from this mistake. Only the OP knows her current spending patterns- any $1000 purses in the closet? Run.

I have an adult DC with a significant other with 200kplus debt [grad school]but high earning potential. Some of my friend's kids have high debt and low income based on choice of majors. And are not steady income stream earners like an FCPS teacher.

This sort of thing really complicates the whole student loan forgiveness debate since even at 17 or 18 these people should be cognizant of the ramifications of the debt.

So the only way for the nation to get teachers is to give visas to foreign teachers or to hope that a handful of the population who can afford college without debt will choose teaching.

Is this really a way forward for the nation?

Plenty of ways to attend college without much debt. The key is a teacher does not need to attend WF, or any elite school, and really should not do that if they cannot afford it. Their starting salary will not allow them to have $200K in debt.
Find one that is only 20-25K/year, take 5K fed loans each year and cashflow the rest--kid can earn $10-15K working each year and parents can contribute $10K. My state has several great schools for education majors that are $25K or less all in.

Elite colleges should not teach majors in education

No reason for elite colleges not to teach education. However, choosing to go into major debt for an education degree is not a smart idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm shocked by the responses on this thread. This girl was what, 17, 18 when she made this choice? Good grief. There are a number of ways to handle this if you even get to the point where it matters. If she plans on being a teacher long term she was never going to be a big financial contributor to your possible future family anyway. And she's 23--it's very possible she could pivot to a higher paying career at some point. I do agree her attitude about it now and plan going forward matters.

I agree on some points. She made a poor decision and hopefully learned from this mistake. Only the OP knows her current spending patterns- any $1000 purses in the closet? Run.

I have an adult DC with a significant other with 200kplus debt [grad school]but high earning potential. Some of my friend's kids have high debt and low income based on choice of majors. And are not steady income stream earners like an FCPS teacher.

This sort of thing really complicates the whole student loan forgiveness debate since even at 17 or 18 these people should be cognizant of the ramifications of the debt.

So the only way for the nation to get teachers is to give visas to foreign teachers or to hope that a handful of the population who can afford college without debt will choose teaching.

Is this really a way forward for the nation?

There are tons of state colleges that do an acceptable job of training teachers.