Would you have a serious relationship with someone with 200k in student loan debt?
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Anonymous
I'm gonna guess that much of this is cultural and the Aunt/uncle do this out of love, not necessity. Seems like he's saving most of the $$$ he's making (without rent or much food) so I don't view it as freeloading. For me, the student loans would only be an issue if her spending doesn't match her finances. She has to be making a plan for paying them off and living frugally (cause there is no other way to live making $53K and having 200K in student loans). If that's the case and she's truly the one, why wouldn't he pay off her loans? However, if she doesn't see the errors in taking 200K in student loans for an EDUCATION degree that typically doesn't pay much, I'd be worried we don't align on key financial issues |
Anonymous
Prop grants were what I received. |
Anonymous
Call it whatever you want, but a 25 year old who’s never had to plan for, nor even think about, paying for college, housing or food is no more of a catch than she isn’t. He’s a big spoiled baby. Don’t mistake luck for financial prowess. |
Anonymous
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Did you find this out because she told you or because you ran a credit check on her?
Assuming she told you about it, I think your best course of action is a discussion. How did she rack up that level of debt for an undergrad education degree? What's her plan for paying it back? And you can gingerly tell her that if you two get serious and consider marriage that you'll likely want to have a prenup that excludes you from responsibility for that debt. She needs to be pursuing every forgiveness opportunity she finds. I assume if she's a public school teacher she'll qualify for some forgiveness at some point, right? How the hell does this happen? I would honestly question her smarts. |
Anonymous
She went to the a school based on fit/rank/whatever rather than based on what she could afford. People really need to tell donut hole kids (and poor kids and schools that are stingy with grants) to go to cheaper schools where they belong. |
Anonymous
+1. I don’t think she can personally take this much out for undergrad. I’m guessing most of it must be parent loans that she agreed to pay off. Sorry, I’m a woman and this would be a hard no for me. If she spent that much for undergrad, she needs to pick a higher paying profession to pay it off. Very dumb move on her and her family’s part. This just demonstrates how her family deals with money and debt - not good. I say this as someone who paid their own way through undergrad and law school. I even worked for a couple of years to pay off the undergrad loans before going to law school. No way would I get involved with someone like this. |
Anonymous
This. Not an immediate deal breaker, but cause for caution. My guess is that within a year or two you will know if this will drive you apart (her finances in general are a mess, her family is a mess, you're just not compatible when it comes to money) or if it will be manageable (family will be paying it off, has a plan, gets some % forgiven, it was a calculated risk). |
Anonymous
Lololol! No. I’d only do that if the person were a surgeon. She could have gotten the same degree from longeood and gotten the same job. Her lack of common sense and ability to do arithmetic would be a major turn off. |
Anonymous
I’m Asian and you sound Asian. You are shameful. Such a man child I bet raised like a little entitled prince. This girl needs to run from you. You will always be a beta dependent on your family. Pathetic. |
Anonymous
woman here.. I think the first PP probably has a sh1t ton of debt themselves. I married DH when he had $350K mortgage on a vacation home, and then bought a $750K house together. I was *very* uncomfortable with this. But, he was making $250K/yr at that time (and I was making about the same). I didn't want the added debt. It never sat well with me, this added debt. He added me to the title, so I was also paying for house, but at least the house was an investment for me, too. The $200K on a degree to teach public school doesn't have a good ROI. The money talk is very important. Certainly you don't want to talk about it early on in the relationship, but if you are going to get serious, you need to have a serious money talk before marriage. |
Anonymous
I wrote the long response at 13:51. I would tell her to break up with you. You aren't self supporting - rent free with no food costs? At 25? Grow up and support yourself. |
Anonymous
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Op, there are tons of high earning, highly educated women in this area. Pick one.
No way I’d have dated someone who made life choices like that. I paid less for my undergrad + law degree. |
Anonymous
lol.. no, I would tell her to mooch off of him. He has it suuuuuper easy. Then, I would tell her that if/when she has a kid and wants to be a sahm, he should pay for it because clearly, he's fine with not standing on his own two feet even though he can. My god. I was feeling sorry for OP earlier. |
Anonymous
sure, but OP probably didn't even pay for himself. |
Anonymous
Sorry if someone already said this, but If she works for a public school and makes all her payments on time for 10 years, the rest of her loan will be forgiven. She probably won't start off making that much, so she can ask for an income driven repayment plan to keep the monthly payments lower. |