Rude comments by childfree friend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let me preface this by saying I love this friend, and I don't want to ruin our friendship because I am very lonely. But she's continually making comments like "I am so glad I don't have kids" and "It must be so gross cleaning up a boy's toilet, I'm so glad I don't have to do that." I never even mentioned cleaning toilets! I never even complain about child-rearing, period. How do I respond to comments like these?

As a mom, I think your friend . . is correct!

I'd be so glad too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You love and accept her just the way she is and go about your day, she is free to express her disgust with tasks that come with child rearing

+1 If OP wants to be the free speech police she should get a job with Biden’s ministry of truth.

+1 this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, yiu sound like one of those parents who treats parenting with all the reverence of a born again secret cult member, that no one can possibly understand what an amazing, joyous, amazing, position it it is.

You took a compliment about how difficult parenting appears and turned it into a criticism.

Maybe I’m a different kind of parent, and I love my child like the sun and moon, and I wouldn’t change it for the world, but parenting is difficult some times. A lot of times. Yes, diapers are the standard of care for a period, but changing them is still gross. Scrubbing toilets is not my hobby, and I have to scrub them more with kids than I do with just adults around. There are mysterious sticky fingerprints in places I can’t fathom sticky fingerprints being. I haven’t had a full nights sleep in years.

Acting like your friend can’t appreciate to any degree how hard parenting is because she doesn’t have kids is disingenuous. No, you never get the full idea, but she obviously get it enough that she is trying to commiserate with you in the only way she knows how - by indicating how hard she sees you working. You’re the one choosing to be offended, and really, I think you just judge her for being child free because your new religion is children.

+1 You’re definitely in the wrong on this one op, maybe you should only have friends with children since you’re so quick to judge those without children.

She's probably be offended by other parents whose entire lives don't revolve around the kids

[Anonymous]

One of my very good friends is childless and says stuff like this. It does not bother me one bit. She is very organized and clean( almost OCD) so i know that is where it is coming from. But she loves my kids and never says that stuff around them. And guess what? She's TTC now. She knows she will get it from me. It's payback time

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me preface this by saying I love this friend, and I don't want to ruin our friendship because I am very lonely. But she's continually making comments like "I am so glad I don't have kids" and "It must be so gross cleaning up a boy's toilet, I'm so glad I don't have to do that." I never even mentioned cleaning toilets! I never even complain about child-rearing, period. How do I respond to comments like these?

My childfree friend once said to me, "I didn't realize how hard it was having kids until I observed you (and dh) with your kids." I felt embarrassed and insulted, but she is my friend and I trust she meant no offense. Childfree adults have no idea what it feels like to have a child and no way can they understand how changing your own kid's diaper is not gross, it is standard care. The reward is the joy, love and smiles they bring into your life.

How in the WORLD is that insulting?

She said we make parenting look difficult, essentially. We have a child centered home where the kids' needs and feelings are considered in our choices, etc. In our style of parenting, there are no selfish parental indulgences if they would interfere with the kids' needs or care. My friend is spontaneous, often going out of town on a whim. She also sleeps until 11am on weekends. I was up with the kids at the crack of dawn with the kids in those days.

I'm a parent (whose home is not "child centered") and yes you make parenting look difficult. I cringe when I hear parent friends talk like this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Childfrees have a need for validation.

She is not child-free. She is child-less. An empty nester is child free.

Childfree by Choice is their preferred term - as opposed to infertile or whatever.

She is then Child Less By Choice. CLBC. Children are not cooties or debt that you need to be free of. Of course, you could be a parent who deserts his/her children or does not acknowledge them or murders them -- by choice!

Also, the C for Choice very often stands for C for Circumstance. Else, the passive-aggressive snide remarks would not flow out so easily.

No, I'm child-free, not child-less. You've clearly thought long and hard about this, spending so much time and energy on it indicates you regret your own choice to parent.

You are clearly low intelligence. I can actually think of these things on the fly to post on DCUM.

In any case, I do not have a problem when people do not have children. If it comes from a place of self-awareness, all the more better. I think only people who have the capacity to be good, loving, responsible and attentive parents should procreate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, yiu sound like one of those parents who treats parenting with all the reverence of a born again secret cult member, that no one can possibly understand what an amazing, joyous, amazing, position it it is.

You took a compliment about how difficult parenting appears and turned it into a criticism.

Maybe I’m a different kind of parent, and I love my child like the sun and moon, and I wouldn’t change it for the world, but parenting is difficult some times. A lot of times. Yes, diapers are the standard of care for a period, but changing them is still gross. Scrubbing toilets is not my hobby, and I have to scrub them more with kids than I do with just adults around. There are mysterious sticky fingerprints in places I can’t fathom sticky fingerprints being. I haven’t had a full nights sleep in years.

Acting like your friend can’t appreciate to any degree how hard parenting is because she doesn’t have kids is disingenuous. No, you never get the full idea, but she obviously get it enough that she is trying to commiserate with you in the only way she knows how - by indicating how hard she sees you working. You’re the one choosing to be offended, and really, I think you just judge her for being child free because your new religion is children.

You need therapy.

[Anonymous]

I guess when you don't have kids, you have time to troll parents on DCUM. Four pages of sockputting your sad, empty CFBC life. Loser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, yiu sound like one of those parents who treats parenting with all the reverence of a born again secret cult member, that no one can possibly understand what an amazing, joyous, amazing, position it it is.

You took a compliment about how difficult parenting appears and turned it into a criticism.

Maybe I’m a different kind of parent, and I love my child like the sun and moon, and I wouldn’t change it for the world, but parenting is difficult some times. A lot of times. Yes, diapers are the standard of care for a period, but changing them is still gross. Scrubbing toilets is not my hobby, and I have to scrub them more with kids than I do with just adults around. There are mysterious sticky fingerprints in places I can’t fathom sticky fingerprints being. I haven’t had a full nights sleep in years.

Acting like your friend can’t appreciate to any degree how hard parenting is because she doesn’t have kids is disingenuous. No, you never get the full idea, but she obviously get it enough that she is trying to commiserate with you in the only way she knows how - by indicating how hard she sees you working. You’re the one choosing to be offended, and really, I think you just judge her for being child free because your new religion is children.

You need therapy.

For what? You need to not post randomly stupid things without reading the content.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Childfrees have a need for validation.

This. It’s to make herself feel better that she doesn’t have kids. She is probably sad. Give her a break.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t take offense, it’s like an unemployed person saying “sucks you have to wake up to go to a job you like”.

It is weird for her to be whining about things she doesn’t do and that you didn’t bring up but I would assume it’s just insecurity on her part.

I believe child free people don’t want kids but I have noticed a few need to pump themselves up about it sometimes. I’m sure many have moments of doubt and verbalizing the downsides makes them feel better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, since you don't want to ruin the friendship, just reply with "I heard you" then list out all the great things of having kids.

No, you don’t list the great things about having kids! Lord. You say to her, “hmmm. That seems like an unusual thing to bring up out of the blue, what’s up?” And then you TALK to her about it. My guess is that she’s feeling some kind of way about not having kids herself and she’s comforting herself by listing the benefits of not having them. She might not realize she’s doing it though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"You were once a child. Did you think your opinion on children was influenced by how your mom viewed parenthood?"

Curious why you just mention the mom.

Because that’s who gets stuck raising the kids 80% of the time

All the more reason to question the DAD, do you get it?!

[Anonymous]

“Parenting is sometimes gross, but never lonely! You make it seem like it’s hard to be alone. Is it?”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Parenting is sometimes gross, but never lonely! You make it seem like it’s hard to be alone. Is it?”

Friend never said that OP makes anything “seem” anything. That’s OPs own projections.

And I won’t even get into the irony of OP coming here for validation about how awesome parenting really is, on a parenting board.