Rude comments by childfree friend

[Anonymous]

"Well then I guess it's a good thing you don't have kids!" or "Enh, it's fine, I get lots of snuggles and cute crafts to make up for it!"

She's probably trying to make herself feel better about her choice or inability to have children, OP. Have some empathy.

[Anonymous]

Response: I know what you mean. That's how I feel when I see you cleaning up your dog's poop.

[Anonymous]

Why don't you just tell her directly? If she truly is your friend, she will appreciate you addressing it and see will change her behavior.

[Anonymous]

Why do you all have friends you can't talk straight to? "Stop disparaging parenting please, it hurts my feelings."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let me preface this by saying I love this friend, and I don't want to ruin our friendship because I am very lonely. But she's continually making comments like "I am so glad I don't have kids" and "It must be so gross cleaning up a boy's toilet, I'm so glad I don't have to do that." I never even mentioned cleaning toilets! I never even complain about child-rearing, period. How do I respond to comments like these?

I had a childfree friend make a remark something to the effect of at least she's not "trapped in a marriage" due to having a child.

I just remember being so hurt from it because as well all know you go through adjustment issues with your spouse when you first become a mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm CFBC but I am surprised your friend would breathe a word about childrearing. You see, we childfree folks know better than to antagonize parents. Your friend is the exception and lacks EQ. Why not just tell her you find her comments rude? If she's a true friend, she'll apologize for hurting your feelings. If you were trying to get her to babysit, then yes, you will get rude comments from the childfree. Just be forewarned.

From abother CFBC person--agreed, if a friend is being rude about anything (this topic or others), why not bring it up with them?

I agree that what you're friend is doing IS rude and I would never do the same, about anything that a friend values. When thinking about where your friend is coming from, though, it is good to keep in mind where she might be coming from. People without children get a whole lot of unsolicited judgment from others on their life choices. I know OP is not doing this to their friend based on their posts in this thread (and these kinds of judgmental statements are far more likely to come from near-strangers than from friends IME), but the general experience of this happening over and over again can prime someone to be defensive about their nonstandard choice.

Why TF are so many child free people on a parenting forum??? What is wrong with you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Childfrees have a need for validation.

She is not child-free. She is child-less. An empty nester is child free.

Childfree by Choice is their preferred term - as opposed to infertile or whatever.

She is then Child Less By Choice. CLBC. Children are not cooties or debt that you need to be free of. Of course, you could be a parent who deserts his/her children or does not acknowledge them or murders them -- by choice!

Also, the C for Choice very often stands for C for Circumstance. Else, the passive-aggressive snide remarks would not flow out so easily.

Nope! You don't get to define terms like this for others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let me preface this by saying I love this friend, and I don't want to ruin our friendship because I am very lonely. But she's continually making comments like "I am so glad I don't have kids" and "It must be so gross cleaning up a boy's toilet, I'm so glad I don't have to do that." I never even mentioned cleaning toilets! I never even complain about child-rearing, period. How do I respond to comments like these?

You just say, "well, you were wise not to have children." Amen. It is over. Nothing left to say!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm CFBC but I am surprised your friend would breathe a word about childrearing. You see, we childfree folks know better than to antagonize parents. Your friend is the exception and lacks EQ. Why not just tell her you find her comments rude? If she's a true friend, she'll apologize for hurting your feelings. If you were trying to get her to babysit, then yes, you will get rude comments from the childfree. Just be forewarned.

From abother CFBC person--agreed, if a friend is being rude about anything (this topic or others), why not bring it up with them?

I agree that what you're friend is doing IS rude and I would never do the same, about anything that a friend values. When thinking about where your friend is coming from, though, it is good to keep in mind where she might be coming from. People without children get a whole lot of unsolicited judgment from others on their life choices. I know OP is not doing this to their friend based on their posts in this thread (and these kinds of judgmental statements are far more likely to come from near-strangers than from friends IME), but the general experience of this happening over and over again can prime someone to be defensive about their nonstandard choice.

Why TF are so many child free people on a parenting forum??? What is wrong with you?

The whining turns us on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You love and accept her just the way she is and go about your day, she is free to express her disgust with tasks that come with child rearing

+1 If OP wants to be the free speech police she should get a job with Biden’s ministry of truth.

Uh, “free speech” doesn’t require OP to “love and accept” someone who is constantly rude to her…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm CFBC but I am surprised your friend would breathe a word about childrearing. You see, we childfree folks know better than to antagonize parents. Your friend is the exception and lacks EQ. Why not just tell her you find her comments rude? If she's a true friend, she'll apologize for hurting your feelings. If you were trying to get her to babysit, then yes, you will get rude comments from the childfree. Just be forewarned.

From abother CFBC person--agreed, if a friend is being rude about anything (this topic or others), why not bring it up with them?

I agree that what you're friend is doing IS rude and I would never do the same, about anything that a friend values. When thinking about where your friend is coming from, though, it is good to keep in mind where she might be coming from. People without children get a whole lot of unsolicited judgment from others on their life choices. I know OP is not doing this to their friend based on their posts in this thread (and these kinds of judgmental statements are far more likely to come from near-strangers than from friends IME), but the general experience of this happening over and over again can prime someone to be defensive about their nonstandard choice.

Why TF are so many child free people on a parenting forum??? What is wrong with you?

The whining turns us on.

You all are the only interesting people here.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like she is competitive with you and wants to make your life sound bad so hers looks better. I would make a couple of pointed comments (“well, sounds like kids aren’t for you! It’s definitely worth it for me”) and if she doesn’t get the hint, just stop hanging out. You don’t need that toxicity

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Childfrees have a need for validation.

She is not child-free. She is child-less. An empty nester is child free.

Childfree by Choice is their preferred term - as opposed to infertile or whatever.

She is then Child Less By Choice. CLBC. Children are not cooties or debt that you need to be free of. Of course, you could be a parent who deserts his/her children or does not acknowledge them or murders them -- by choice!

Also, the C for Choice very often stands for C for Circumstance. Else, the passive-aggressive snide remarks would not flow out so easily.

People who don’t want to have kids go by childfree. Not Child Less .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm CFBC but I am surprised your friend would breathe a word about childrearing. You see, we childfree folks know better than to antagonize parents. Your friend is the exception and lacks EQ. Why not just tell her you find her comments rude? If she's a true friend, she'll apologize for hurting your feelings. If you were trying to get her to babysit, then yes, you will get rude comments from the childfree. Just be forewarned.

From abother CFBC person--agreed, if a friend is being rude about anything (this topic or others), why not bring it up with them?

I agree that what you're friend is doing IS rude and I would never do the same, about anything that a friend values. When thinking about where your friend is coming from, though, it is good to keep in mind where she might be coming from. People without children get a whole lot of unsolicited judgment from others on their life choices. I know OP is not doing this to their friend based on their posts in this thread (and these kinds of judgmental statements are far more likely to come from near-strangers than from friends IME), but the general experience of this happening over and over again can prime someone to be defensive about their nonstandard choice.

Why TF are so many child free people on a parenting forum??? What is wrong with you?

The whining turns us on.[/quote
Not weird that you’re on DCUM. Pretty weird that you get off commenting on parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm CFBC but I am surprised your friend would breathe a word about childrearing. You see, we childfree folks know better than to antagonize parents. Your friend is the exception and lacks EQ. Why not just tell her you find her comments rude? If she's a true friend, she'll apologize for hurting your feelings. If you were trying to get her to babysit, then yes, you will get rude comments from the childfree. Just be forewarned.

From abother CFBC person--agreed, if a friend is being rude about anything (this topic or others), why not bring it up with them?

I agree that what you're friend is doing IS rude and I would never do the same, about anything that a friend values. When thinking about where your friend is coming from, though, it is good to keep in mind where she might be coming from. People without children get a whole lot of unsolicited judgment from others on their life choices. I know OP is not doing this to their friend based on their posts in this thread (and these kinds of judgmental statements are far more likely to come from near-strangers than from friends IME), but the general experience of this happening over and over again can prime someone to be defensive about their nonstandard choice.

Why TF are so many child free people on a parenting forum??? What is wrong with you?

The whining turns us on.[/quote
Not weird that you’re on DCUM. Pretty weird that you get off commenting on parenting.

That book you're using as a doorstop is a dictionary
Get it and look up. "facetious."