My kid just told me he 'settled' for his choice

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignor all the a$$hole posts OP. I feel for you. This sucks and it’s really difficult to be in that position as a parent. Two things - 1. can you work the WL hard? Have your DH call every alum with any pull he knows to email in your kids behalf and have his school counselor call and email too. 2. Remind him he can transfer (to most other colleges). One year in a college he isn’t excited about will either change his mind or inspire him to work his butt of to get out.

I’m naive. Please tell me the bolded isn’t actually something people do.

What? Are you really that clueless?. Yes, it is how it’s done. 100%. If your kid gets waitlisted at a school they really want and not happy with choices, and you or your friends have the connections, that’s what you do. If you go to a top private, that’s what the schools does too, sometimes asking other connected parents or alums to help. Getting your kid into the best college is a deadly serious endeavor for some people and they use every tool at their disposal. This is common at a certain level.

Common or not, it still makes the kid look kind of pathetic.

+1 That would be humiliating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kid didn’t “settle” since he didn’t have a better option. If he carries this sorry attitude into the fall semester he won’t succeed.

He actually did have other options, just not the one that he wanted. It's okay to feel that way. All the people on here saying kid is not allowed to feel his feels. We all get disappointed sometimes and that's okay.

OP’s son has to decide if he wants to have a healthy and constructive relationship with the things in his life that he can’t control. It sounds like he is heading down a path where he will not only be at a college he thinks is “beneath him”, but he will also have a 2.9 GPA in January.

Oh shut it you troll.

Not a troll. College is a big deal and his attitude is a major determinant of performance.

+1. "The school is beneath me" attitude will hurt him big time.

Good lord, 5/1 just passed. Getting off the waitlist is still theoretically a possibility. As soon as that is no longer a possibility, OP's kid will have a better time adjusting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:School name matters for the careers DCUM types are gunning for.

No, it really doesn’t. Not as an undergrad. Sounds like OPs DC just really wanted to go there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:School name matters for the careers DCUM types are gunning for.

No, it really doesn’t. Not as an undergrad. Sounds like OPs DC just really wanted to go there.

I'm a big critic of people's obsession with T20 schools but come on, big Wall Street firms (and they do hire undergrads for some positions) absolutely focus on top tier schools. Not saying it's impossible to get one of those jobs otherwise, but the fact they are dominated by grads of select schools is no coincidence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:School name matters for the careers DCUM types are gunning for.

No, it really doesn’t. Not as an undergrad. Sounds like OPs DC just really wanted to go there.

School name absolutely matters, but it's all out of OP's son's hands now. He has to decide if he is going to make the most of his opportunity, or if he is going to spend the rest of his life feeling sorry for himself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:School name matters for the careers DCUM types are gunning for.

No, it really doesn’t. Not as an undergrad. Sounds like OPs DC just really wanted to go there.

I'm a big critic of people's obsession with T20 schools but come on, big Wall Street firms (and they do hire undergrads for some positions) absolutely focus on top tier schools. Not saying it's impossible to get one of those jobs otherwise, but the fact they are dominated by grads of select schools is no coincidence.

Only if you are talking about jobs straight out of undergrad maybe. But those jobs suck. Get an mba somewhere good then get the wall street job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:School name matters for the careers DCUM types are gunning for.

No, it really doesn’t. Not as an undergrad. Sounds like OPs DC just really wanted to go there.

I'm a big critic of people's obsession with T20 schools but come on, big Wall Street firms (and they do hire undergrads for some positions) absolutely focus on top tier schools. Not saying it's impossible to get one of those jobs otherwise, but the fact they are dominated by grads of select schools is no coincidence.

Only if you are talking about jobs straight out of undergrad maybe. But those jobs suck. Get an mba somewhere good then get the wall street job.

Not necessarily. There are plenty of places in finance with pretty good entry level jobs for undergrads. And if they do well the companies sometimes pay for their MBAs

[Anonymous]

He's probably settling for Cornell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:School name matters for the careers DCUM types are gunning for.

No, it really doesn’t. Not as an undergrad. Sounds like OPs DC just really wanted to go there.

I'm a big critic of people's obsession with T20 schools but come on, big Wall Street firms (and they do hire undergrads for some positions) absolutely focus on top tier schools. Not saying it's impossible to get one of those jobs otherwise, but the fact they are dominated by grads of select schools is no coincidence.

Only if you are talking about jobs straight out of undergrad maybe. But those jobs suck. Get an mba somewhere good then get the wall street job.

Not necessarily. There are plenty of places in finance with pretty good entry level jobs for undergrads. And if they do well the companies sometimes pay for their MBAs

This is true, I guess I meant the hours suck when you are entry level on Wall Street. That is always true. So my point was the person who graduated from who knows where undergrad but then gets an mba at big name school has a better experience than the entry level person coming straight from an ivy. And the same if that ivy person goes up get their mba.
I know a guy who went to community college, then transferred to ucla, then got his mba from Harvard. So undergrad isn’t always the final say, even on Wall Street.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The entitlement mindset today is mind blowing.

Yes, but it was also unreasonable and unfair of the parents to be pushing this school from what sounds like childhood. This is why you don't start talking about specific colleges with your middle schoolers and early high schoolers, folks.

NP. This is such a stupid take. The boy's father went to this school - likely they've visited, gone to games and other events throughout his childhood. OP said he had always envisioned himself there. Did you even bother to read the OP?

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry. That is disappointing, especially if your husband went there. So much for legacy. Hopefully he’ll love where he ends up, most kids do. Try to keep positive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People on here always say to transfer. Yes, it is pretty easy to transfer into UVA, UNC, Northwestern or Vanderbilt, etc. However, transferring schools has a lot of issues too. Students can struggle to make friends and connect socially. Friend groups are established freshman year. I think transferring is a horrible idea unless your kid is absolutely miserable at the first school. Many kids do it for the prestige and ranking of the school.

Um, no, it isn't (not to those schools at least). Do you REALLY think that any Virginia kid who goes to, say, JMU or VCU freshman year and gets a 3.8 or above just walks into UVA as a transfer? Hardly.

DP, but um, YES. Do you really think UVA is unattainable to a kid who makes excellent grades at another university (especially, the two you mentioned)? Spare us. Of course kids transfer in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:School name matters for the careers DCUM types are gunning for.

No, it really doesn’t. Not as an undergrad. Sounds like OPs DC just really wanted to go there.

I'm a big critic of people's obsession with T20 schools but come on, big Wall Street firms (and they do hire undergrads for some positions) absolutely focus on top tier schools. Not saying it's impossible to get one of those jobs otherwise, but the fact they are dominated by grads of select schools is no coincidence.

Ok, but what if you have zero desire to work in a Wall Street firm or in banking or finance at all? Like most people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:School name matters for the careers DCUM types are gunning for.

No, it really doesn’t. Not as an undergrad. Sounds like OPs DC just really wanted to go there.

I'm a big critic of people's obsession with T20 schools but come on, big Wall Street firms (and they do hire undergrads for some positions) absolutely focus on top tier schools. Not saying it's impossible to get one of those jobs otherwise, but the fact they are dominated by grads of select schools is no coincidence.

Ok, but what if you have zero desire to work in a Wall Street firm or in banking or finance at all? Like most people.

+100
I can imagine few things more boring than "finance."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:School name matters for the careers DCUM types are gunning for.

No, it really doesn’t. Not as an undergrad. Sounds like OPs DC just really wanted to go there.

I'm a big critic of people's obsession with T20 schools but come on, big Wall Street firms (and they do hire undergrads for some positions) absolutely focus on top tier schools. Not saying it's impossible to get one of those jobs otherwise, but the fact they are dominated by grads of select schools is no coincidence.

Ok, but what if you have zero desire to work in a Wall Street firm or in banking or finance at all? Like most people.

+100
I can imagine few things more boring than "finance."

Certainly helps pay off student loans though.