My kid just told me he 'settled' for his choice

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:School name matters for the careers DCUM types are gunning for.

Grad school name matters so much more.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry, OP. That is really hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People on here always say to transfer. Yes, it is pretty easy to transfer into UVA, UNC, Northwestern or Vanderbilt, etc. However, transferring schools has a lot of issues too. Students can struggle to make friends and connect socially. Friend groups are established freshman year. I think transferring is a horrible idea unless your kid is absolutely miserable at the first school. Many kids do it for the prestige and ranking of the school.

Um, no, it isn't (not to those schools at least). Do you REALLY think that any Virginia kid who goes to, say, JMU or VCU freshman year and gets a 3.8 or above just walks into UVA as a transfer? Hardly.

More than likely, yes.

From UVA's own website:

--Nearly half of the 600 transfer students who enroll in the fall started their higher education in the Virginia Community College System.
--We tend to admit 35-40% of the transfer applicants who apply to start at UVA in the fall.

The average college GPA for an admitted transfer student is 3.5. Students aren't admitted just based on a GPA, though. Having the proper courses on your transcript is important.

Transfer candidates must be in good standing, both academically and socially, at the institution or institutions they have attended. Successful applicants ordinarily will have earned a cumulative grade point average of B or better at their previous colleges; they also will have completed, or come close to completing, the specific transfer requirements for the school and program they wish to enter.

Definitely possible. I know two kids who transferred in from other large state schools with 4.0 GPAs to UVA after getting rejected there initially. Also know someone transferring after one year a comm college with a 3.9 GPA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People on here always say to transfer. Yes, it is pretty easy to transfer into UVA, UNC, Northwestern or Vanderbilt, etc. However, transferring schools has a lot of issues too. Students can struggle to make friends and connect socially. Friend groups are established freshman year. I think transferring is a horrible idea unless your kid is absolutely miserable at the first school. Many kids do it for the prestige and ranking of the school.

Um, no, it isn't (not to those schools at least). Do you REALLY think that any Virginia kid who goes to, say, JMU or VCU freshman year and gets a 3.8 or above just walks into UVA as a transfer? Hardly.

More than likely, yes.

From UVA's own website:

--Nearly half of the 600 transfer students who enroll in the fall started their higher education in the Virginia Community College System.
--We tend to admit 35-40% of the transfer applicants who apply to start at UVA in the fall.

The average college GPA for an admitted transfer student is 3.5. Students aren't admitted just based on a GPA, though. Having the proper courses on your transcript is important.

Transfer candidates must be in good standing, both academically and socially, at the institution or institutions they have attended. Successful applicants ordinarily will have earned a cumulative grade point average of B or better at their previous colleges; they also will have completed, or come close to completing, the specific transfer requirements for the school and program they wish to enter.

Definitely possible. I know two kids who transferred in from other large state schools with 4.0 GPAs to UVA after getting rejected there initially. Also know someone transferring after one year a comm college with a 3.9 GPA.

No one said it wasn't possible -- of course it is. The operative phrase was "pretty easy" to transfer. If UVA accepted 35-40% of transfer applicants (I'm thinking it's less these days, but whatever), that means a considerable majority (60-65%) are REJECTED. That kind of rejection rate does NOT equate to "pretty easy" under the normal definition of that term.

[Anonymous]

Your kid didn’t “settle” since he didn’t have a better option. If he carries this sorry attitude into the fall semester he won’t succeed.

[Anonymous]

It's a good life lesson OP, we don't always get what we want, and it's ok to go forward when you are not excited.

[Anonymous]

Ignor all the a$$hole posts OP. I feel for you. This sucks and it’s really difficult to be in that position as a parent. Two things - 1. can you work the WL hard? Have your DH call every alum with any pull he knows to email in your kids behalf and have his school counselor call and email too. 2. Remind him he can transfer (to most other colleges). One year in a college he isn’t excited about will either change his mind or inspire him to work his butt of to get out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kid didn’t “settle” since he didn’t have a better option. If he carries this sorry attitude into the fall semester he won’t succeed.

+1. Shouldn't he be grateful?

[Anonymous]

Go drive there tomorrow if you can swing it, even if it’s an 8 hour drive. Be spontaneous and make it fun! He’s going to college and he’s going to rock it if he’s excited about it! Walk around campus, let him buy what he wants at the store, get to know the town/city, make it exciting!! Show him you guys are so happy for him that he is beginning this new chapter!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ignor all the a$$hole posts OP. I feel for you. This sucks and it’s really difficult to be in that position as a parent. Two things - 1. can you work the WL hard? Have your DH call every alum with any pull he knows to email in your kids behalf and have his school counselor call and email too. 2. Remind him he can transfer (to most other colleges). One year in a college he isn’t excited about will either change his mind or inspire him to work his butt of to get out.

I’m naive. Please tell me the bolded isn’t actually something people do.

[Anonymous]

And yes, I feel your pain but we as parents have to stay positive and see the long view about the sort of person we are creating. Easier said than done sometimes, I know.

[Anonymous]

DCUM has really become 92% a*!holes since the pandemic started.

OP, I am sorry your kid is disappointed. I suspect mine is too (admissions process was rough for him) but he isn’t showing it. He has bought the sweatshirt and T-shirt (but only after 5/1) and has opened the website with all the “to dos.”

Thank you to all the PPs who shared stories of how their disappointed kid ended up happy at their college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kid didn’t “settle” since he didn’t have a better option. If he carries this sorry attitude into the fall semester he won’t succeed.

He actually did have other options, just not the one that he wanted. It's okay to feel that way. All the people on here saying kid is not allowed to feel his feels. We all get disappointed sometimes and that's okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kid didn’t “settle” since he didn’t have a better option. If he carries this sorry attitude into the fall semester he won’t succeed.

He actually did have other options, just not the one that he wanted. It's okay to feel that way. All the people on here saying kid is not allowed to feel his feels. We all get disappointed sometimes and that's okay.

Where did you read that? Not from OP's post.

[Anonymous]

He'll learn to make the best of it. Or he won't. But he will learn he should.