Youngest cousin wants no-kids wedding

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: My own dd is having a no kids wedding (aside from her 7yo sister and the ring bearer). It's her and future dh's choice.

I had kids at my wedding, that was MY choice.

I do understand not having anyone to watch the kids-if my cousins had a no kid wedding, I would not have been able to go because anyone who'd watch the kids, would be AT the wedding.

That's weird. If you don't want kids at the reception, why include them in the ceremony?

It's not weird...the flower girl is my 7yo dd (same mom and dad) and the ring bearer is her fiance's nephew. Of course the bride's SISTER, who is a child, will be there!

A wedding doesn't magically become appropriate for kids because of the blood tie between the bride or groom and the kid.

Ring bearers are ridiculous, but it's especially goofy to decide that there is One Chosen Nephew who needs to be there and any other young relatives would ruin things.

Have whatever wedding you like, but apply a little logical consistency.

Oh good grief- if this sort of thing bothers you so much, just decline if you get an invite to a wedding with this arrangement.

My youngest cousin is getting married this summer and is including all the kids but it’s a big outdoor space. Her brother got married last year and it was a smaller, not kid friendly space and it was a no kids wedding. Totally fine! We have a large family and the number of kids grows every year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: My own dd is having a no kids wedding (aside from her 7yo sister and the ring bearer). It's her and future dh's choice.

I had kids at my wedding, that was MY choice.

I do understand not having anyone to watch the kids-if my cousins had a no kid wedding, I would not have been able to go because anyone who'd watch the kids, would be AT the wedding.

That's weird. If you don't want kids at the reception, why include them in the ceremony?

It's not weird...the flower girl is my 7yo dd (same mom and dad) and the ring bearer is her fiance's nephew. Of course the bride's SISTER, who is a child, will be there!

A wedding doesn't magically become appropriate for kids because of the blood tie between the bride or groom and the kid.

Ring bearers are ridiculous, but it's especially goofy to decide that there is One Chosen Nephew who needs to be there and any other young relatives would ruin things.

Have whatever wedding you like, but apply a little logical consistency.

The bride wants her sister there! And the groom wants his nephew there! There wants are all that matters in this. You don't get to decide consistency. It's up to people who are invited to decide if they want to go or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's so frustrating. Literally everyone has kids. All the cousins except this one. All of us had inclusive weddings. She also has given 0 help for everyone coming from out of town to find sitters. I enjoy my kids and frankly find it hard to leave them in a hotel room for multiple hours.

Go to the wedding or don’t, but this is emotionally unhealthy. Work on it.

Now that is a very strange, and in my mind, quite unhealthy point of view. I agree with OP that all of this is annoying. If you really want to go to this wedding and catch up with everyone, I suggest you arrange for babysitting services for all the children who need it and split the cost.

[Anonymous]

I’d be annoyed too, OP and I would just decline and send a chintzy gift. Done and done

[Anonymous]

Nice to see DCUM in agreement on something!

[Anonymous]

To torture the cliche, an invitation is not a summons. I decline most child-free out of town weddings because I have a limited travel budget (so I don't want to go solo) and no local family to leave my kid with (our regular date night sitter is a teen). I decline with no hard feelings and send a gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To torture the cliche, an invitation is not a summons. I decline most child-free out of town weddings because I have a limited travel budget (so I don't want to go solo) and no local family to leave my kid with (our regular date night sitter is a teen). I decline with no hard feelings and send a gift.

+1. I decline nearly all weddings for no kids. It's not the end of the world. Don't go. The child free world is not your crowd anymore. And I assure you that your cousin is not interested in seeing your kids at the wedding. She made it pretty clear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To torture the cliche, an invitation is not a summons. I decline most child-free out of town weddings because I have a limited travel budget (so I don't want to go solo) and no local family to leave my kid with (our regular date night sitter is a teen). I decline with no hard feelings and send a gift.

Exactly. We don’t do no kid weddings. Not everyone has willing and capable family to help. I don’t feel any guilt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are two kinds of people who get all up in arms about "no kid" weddings.

1. Those who think their own kid is the Christ Child.

2. Those who don't spend enough time with their kids to not feel guilty about ditching them for a fun weekend.

In fairness it would be extremely entertaining to watch him flipping tables at the reception when he finds out that he's seated next to a banker.

Perfect. Can we please be friends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's so frustrating. Literally everyone has kids. All the cousins except this one. All of us had inclusive weddings. She also has given 0 help for everyone coming from out of town to find sitters. I enjoy my kids and frankly find it hard to leave them in a hotel room for multiple hours.

That's probably why she doesn't want all of them at the wedding. It's also not her responsibility to line up childcare. You can choose not to go.

[Anonymous]

We have a no kid wedding coming up and the spouse who is the blood relative will go while the other stays back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife’s cousin got married in Michigan and our then 2yo wasn’t invited. The hotel suggested for family was 25 mins from wedding venue and reception. We didn’t go.

OK? Is any of this supposed to be a big deal or insightful?

[Anonymous]

We have a no kid wedding coming up and the spouse who is the blood relative will go while the other stays back.

This. Whover is the actual relative, they go. Go and enjoy catching up.

[Anonymous]

Decline if you don't want to go. Also it isn't up to her to organise sitters, it is your responsibility.

You can have your own wedding how you want and she can have her wedding how she wants.

You could even leave your kids at home and have a couple of days away from them - I know, crazy right. Is there other family or friends to have them for a couple of nights.

It might be nice to recharge and get away. Of course you can also choose to complain about how hard it is for you, how hard life is, how unfair it all is. I suppose I would rather just go and have fun, your life doesn't stop because of kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a no kid wedding coming up and the spouse who is the blood relative will go while the other stays back.

We do this for local weddings but won’t spend money on flights/hotel to attend a wedding solo.