DD’s team mates think DH is creepy

[Anonymous]

OP does your husband have Aspergers? I have a number of friends who were diagnosed as adults and have certain behaviours that seem odd to typical people. Any other strange traits you've noticed about him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is a little bit of collateral damage from the MeToo movement. I am ALL for women and girls speaking out about sexual abuse and harassment, but I think it is often also taken way too far - in terms of being allowed to assume the worst in questionable cases, being allowed to accuse men of these things without any evidence and then everyone being required to take those accusations completely seriously. A classic pendulum swing in the other direction. And that never ends well.

Your husband didn't do anything weird. He is just socially awkward and clueless and doesn't realize yet that he has to work a lot harder to make sure he doesn't look like a creep in this day and age. Basically, those bad apples (and there are plenty), ruined it for the rest of the decent men out there. It's not totally fair, but that's what it is, and he has to be aware and act accordingly. Rules like don't ever be in the room alone with another female alone.

Not picking on you, but all the PP's saying "he didn't do anything wrong" and "teen girls are just dramatic and think everyone's obsessed with them" seem to be glossing right over the fact that OP said she herself was "concerned" by the amount of attention her DH pays to these girls, before any teenager voiced discomfort.

Two things can be true: non-creepy adult men have to be extra cautious around kids and teen girls because the wrong accusation could be devastating, and OP's DH is not a non-creepy adult men. He's setting off teen and adult warning bells in equal measure.

I am the PP you quoted. I didn't get the sense that OP actually thought her husband was creepy, only that his behavior might be perceived as creepy to others.

Whether it's because he's on the spectrum, or just plain socially awkward and clueless, it might be helpful that he needs to be more aware of how his actions might appear in this day and age.

I have a husband kind of like that, and I could totally see him doing something like this when our daughter gets older because he's just clueless with certain things. I can see him continuing to treat our daughter as if she is still in elementary school, and going there to watch her games, and just waiting and watching off to the side by himself without any care as to how he might look to those other girls. I can also see him making some benign observation about a girl's appearance or body without realizing that's not really socially acceptable with girls that age.

OP, I think it's worthwhile to very gently tell your husband how his actions might be perceived, in a non-accusatory and empathetic way. You can share what your daughter's friends have said about him - that would be a wake up call.

[Anonymous]

There's no reason for parents to watch practices.

Leave the coaching to the coaches. Tell your DH to step back a bit. Watch the games in a group with the other parents. Get on pick up line at a normal time, not early, and stay in the car. And don't video for any reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's no reason for parents to watch practices.

Leave the coaching to the coaches. Tell your DH to step back a bit. Watch the games in a group with the other parents. Get on pick up line at a normal time, not early, and stay in the car. And don't video for any reason.

This. Just play on the phone and read your reddit, like all the other dads. It is incredibly creepy to comment on children's bodies. I picked up my DCs so many times from practices and it didn't even crossed my mind to check and comment on those young boys' bodies. It's disgusting. Your H has a pervy mind.

[Anonymous]

My dad used to do creepy things like this, and ogle my friends, starting around middle school age. He’s still a creep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Creepy” is the most overused and annoying word. These little darlings are the first to make a revealing Tick Tock video and invite 5000 comments from boys and men from all over yet God forbid that an adult looks at them.

Creepy dad has entered the chat.

Guess what, dumbass — you don’t get to stare at adolescent girls. It doesn’t matter what some other random people are doing online. That doesn’t give you permission to stare. You sound like a loser and an incel.

- Dad of teens