DD’s team mates think DH is creepy

[Anonymous]

I can't believe nobody has called troll. A 12 year old on varsity? In what universe? Playing alongside 16-18 year olds? What sport is this, op?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe nobody has called troll. A 12 year old on varsity? In what universe? Playing alongside 16-18 year olds? What sport is this, op?

Tennis

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I have a 14-year-old DD. I do a lot of carpools with 14 and 15 year-olds, plus my daughter has friends over often. Seriously, they use the word creep and creepy all the time, “pedo” also. They think most of their male teachers and male coaches are creeps. When I ask for examples they are ridiculous. For example, they think one of their soccer coaches is a creep because he has been telling one of the girls how great she is playing and how much she has improved. Which she has, but because it comes from a male coach it’s creepy. The little extra attention, instead of feeling encouraged, makes them all think that he is into her. All the examples about their male teaches being creeps are similar to this. I feel for male teachers middle school and high school, as well as male coaches for female teams. It cannot be easy.

OMG, yes! I was going to write something very similar to this. I have an eighth grader and she calls her male teachers teachers creeps all the time. Just yesterday she told me that one of her friends went to the bathroom right before a test was handed out. She took a really long time, and when she came back the teacher was annoyed and said something like “what were you doing in there, that took a really long time!”. He likes to hand out the test when everybody’s in the classroom, But the girls decided that he was a creep because he wanted to know what this girl was doing in the bathroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I have a 14-year-old DD. I do a lot of carpools with 14 and 15 year-olds, plus my daughter has friends over often. Seriously, they use the word creep and creepy all the time, “pedo” also. They think most of their male teachers and male coaches are creeps. When I ask for examples they are ridiculous. For example, they think one of their soccer coaches is a creep because he has been telling one of the girls how great she is playing and how much she has improved. Which she has, but because it comes from a male coach it’s creepy. The little extra attention, instead of feeling encouraged, makes them all think that he is into her. All the examples about their male teaches being creeps are similar to this. I feel for male teachers middle school and high school, as well as male coaches for female teams. It cannot be easy.

OP here. That sounds familiar. They also think their history teacher is a creepy pedo because of the way he talks to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I swear you or someone else has posted this situation before saying a girl wouldn’t stay at your house when your DH was there and you brushed it off as him being socially awkward. If that wasn’t you, your DH does sound creepy from what you describe. Keep him away from school and other kids.

It wasn’t me. Do you have a link?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this you?

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1015908.page

Troll? <— Jeff?

Lol, no. DH doesn’t wear bike shorts.

DD occasionally has sleepovers, but nothing like this has come up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I have a 14-year-old DD. I do a lot of carpools with 14 and 15 year-olds, plus my daughter has friends over often. Seriously, they use the word creep and creepy all the time, “pedo” also. They think most of their male teachers and male coaches are creeps. When I ask for examples they are ridiculous. For example, they think one of their soccer coaches is a creep because he has been telling one of the girls how great she is playing and how much she has improved. Which she has, but because it comes from a male coach it’s creepy. The little extra attention, instead of feeling encouraged, makes them all think that he is into her. All the examples about their male teaches being creeps are similar to this. I feel for male teachers middle school and high school, as well as male coaches for female teams. It cannot be easy.

OMG, yes! I was going to write something very similar to this. I have an eighth grader and she calls her male teachers teachers creeps all the time. Just yesterday she told me that one of her friends went to the bathroom right before a test was handed out. She took a really long time, and when she came back the teacher was annoyed and said something like “what were you doing in there, that took a really long time!”. He likes to hand out the test when everybody’s in the classroom, But the girls decided that he was a creep because he wanted to know what this girl was doing in the bathroom.

Wow, I wonder if our daughters are friends? I could have written this exact thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I have a 14-year-old DD. I do a lot of carpools with 14 and 15 year-olds, plus my daughter has friends over often. Seriously, they use the word creep and creepy all the time, “pedo” also. They think most of their male teachers and male coaches are creeps. When I ask for examples they are ridiculous. For example, they think one of their soccer coaches is a creep because he has been telling one of the girls how great she is playing and how much she has improved. Which she has, but because it comes from a male coach it’s creepy. The little extra attention, instead of feeling encouraged, makes them all think that he is into her. All the examples about their male teaches being creeps are similar to this. I feel for male teachers middle school and high school, as well as male coaches for female teams. It cannot be easy.

OMG, yes! I was going to write something very similar to this. I have an eighth grader and she calls her male teachers teachers creeps all the time. Just yesterday she told me that one of her friends went to the bathroom right before a test was handed out. She took a really long time, and when she came back the teacher was annoyed and said something like “what were you doing in there, that took a really long time!”. He likes to hand out the test when everybody’s in the classroom, But the girls decided that he was a creep because he wanted to know what this girl was doing in the bathroom.

Wow, I wonder if our daughters are friends? I could have written this exact thing.

That said, I do think OP's situation is different because OP, the seasoned adult, is independently picking up some weirdness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I have a 14-year-old DD. I do a lot of carpools with 14 and 15 year-olds, plus my daughter has friends over often. Seriously, they use the word creep and creepy all the time, “pedo” also. They think most of their male teachers and male coaches are creeps. When I ask for examples they are ridiculous. For example, they think one of their soccer coaches is a creep because he has been telling one of the girls how great she is playing and how much she has improved. Which she has, but because it comes from a male coach it’s creepy. The little extra attention, instead of feeling encouraged, makes them all think that he is into her. All the examples about their male teaches being creeps are similar to this. I feel for male teachers middle school and high school, as well as male coaches for female teams. It cannot be easy.

OMG, yes! I was going to write something very similar to this. I have an eighth grader and she calls her male teachers teachers creeps all the time. Just yesterday she told me that one of her friends went to the bathroom right before a test was handed out. She took a really long time, and when she came back the teacher was annoyed and said something like “what were you doing in there, that took a really long time!”. He likes to hand out the test when everybody’s in the classroom, But the girls decided that he was a creep because he wanted to know what this girl was doing in the bathroom.

This problem is getting worse thanks to the internet.

Teens are dramatic by nature. Once one of them starts calling a teacher or teachers “creeps” or “creepers,” they all just pile on.

Suddenly every adult male is a potential “creeper.” It is a dangerous trend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I have a 14-year-old DD. I do a lot of carpools with 14 and 15 year-olds, plus my daughter has friends over often. Seriously, they use the word creep and creepy all the time, “pedo” also. They think most of their male teachers and male coaches are creeps. When I ask for examples they are ridiculous. For example, they think one of their soccer coaches is a creep because he has been telling one of the girls how great she is playing and how much she has improved. Which she has, but because it comes from a male coach it’s creepy. The little extra attention, instead of feeling encouraged, makes them all think that he is into her. All the examples about their male teaches being creeps are similar to this. I feel for male teachers middle school and high school, as well as male coaches for female teams. It cannot be easy.

OMG, yes! I was going to write something very similar to this. I have an eighth grader and she calls her male teachers teachers creeps all the time. Just yesterday she told me that one of her friends went to the bathroom right before a test was handed out. She took a really long time, and when she came back the teacher was annoyed and said something like “what were you doing in there, that took a really long time!”. He likes to hand out the test when everybody’s in the classroom, But the girls decided that he was a creep because he wanted to know what this girl was doing in the bathroom.

He shouldn’t be asking. She might have her period, be sick, whatever. If he is someone routinely abusing the bathroom, make them go to the nurses office not ask in front of class. That is creepy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I have a 14-year-old DD. I do a lot of carpools with 14 and 15 year-olds, plus my daughter has friends over often. Seriously, they use the word creep and creepy all the time, “pedo” also. They think most of their male teachers and male coaches are creeps. When I ask for examples they are ridiculous. For example, they think one of their soccer coaches is a creep because he has been telling one of the girls how great she is playing and how much she has improved. Which she has, but because it comes from a male coach it’s creepy. The little extra attention, instead of feeling encouraged, makes them all think that he is into her. All the examples about their male teaches being creeps are similar to this. I feel for male teachers middle school and high school, as well as male coaches for female teams. It cannot be easy.

OMG, yes! I was going to write something very similar to this. I have an eighth grader and she calls her male teachers teachers creeps all the time. Just yesterday she told me that one of her friends went to the bathroom right before a test was handed out. She took a really long time, and when she came back the teacher was annoyed and said something like “what were you doing in there, that took a really long time!”. He likes to hand out the test when everybody’s in the classroom, But the girls decided that he was a creep because he wanted to know what this girl was doing in the bathroom.

He shouldn’t be asking. She might have her period, be sick, whatever. If he is someone routinely abusing the bathroom, make them go to the nurses office not ask in front of class. That is creepy

Oh, please stop. The girl took a very long time, and I know from DD that the reason was that she happened to coincide with another friend in the bathroom and were doing tik toks, yes tik toks in the bathroom. So the teacher was annoyed because the whole class was waiting for her to take the test.

[Anonymous]

My DS is in 6th grade and most of the parents watch all the practices. Will we get a memo next year that says to stop watching practice?

I saw a thread on the Sports Forum saying that parents should stay and watch practices, rather than just drop off, for multiple reasons. I'm not sure if the difference is girls v boys, or skill level, or region, or something else.

[Anonymous]

My husband would pick up DD from practices on the way home from work. This usually put him there 30-45 min early so instead of sitting in the car on his phone, he would watch practice. I feel as though this was a great way for them to connect. He leaves for work before she’s up and between hw and friends, they barely see eachother in the evenings. Him watching practices gave them something to talk about and he got a small glimpse into her life. When they talked at dinner, not knowing names, he often referred to other players as “the tall blonde” or the “tiny one with short hair”. I find this no different then when I talk about her friends who I don’t know their names. I’m glad that my DH was proud of his daughter and went through the effort to support her and connect with her. In no way was he ever “creepy”.

OP, you know your husband and what his motive is. No one here is going to be able to tell you that. My only concern would be your dd being picked on especially due to her age. Girls can be mean and they will find anything to jump on.

[Anonymous]

I think this is a little bit of collateral damage from the MeToo movement. I am ALL for women and girls speaking out about sexual abuse and harassment, but I think it is often also taken way too far - in terms of being allowed to assume the worst in questionable cases, being allowed to accuse men of these things without any evidence and then everyone being required to take those accusations completely seriously. A classic pendulum swing in the other direction. And that never ends well.

Your husband didn't do anything weird. He is just socially awkward and clueless and doesn't realize yet that he has to work a lot harder to make sure he doesn't look like a creep in this day and age. Basically, those bad apples (and there are plenty), ruined it for the rest of the decent men out there. It's not totally fair, but that's what it is, and he has to be aware and act accordingly. Rules like don't ever be in the room alone with another female alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DS is in 6th grade and most of the parents watch all the practices. Will we get a memo next year that says to stop watching practice?

I saw a thread on the Sports Forum saying that parents should stay and watch practices, rather than just drop off, for multiple reasons. I'm not sure if the difference is girls v boys, or skill level, or region, or something else.

OP's kid is in a school sport, not travel/rec league/etc. where the parents have to drive the kid to practice anyway. Her DH is going to the school to watch practices. That's not normal in any grade.