If you SAH, do you clean your own house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m one of those SAHMs who is easily overwhelmed. Motherhood and our messy house for sure overwhelms me often. We are (thankfully!) rich enough that I don’t have to do all the cleaning myself. I am grateful. I don’t think that makes me a less competent or worse mother and wife, it’s just who I am and DH accepts that about me. If we couldn’t afford cleaners, we would just live in a messier house and I would be more stressed, but we would survive.

You don’t think you are less competent than a mother who is not easily overwhelmed? Is there are reason everything overwhelms you? Have you sought treatment for it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m one of those SAHMs who is easily overwhelmed. Motherhood and our messy house for sure overwhelms me often. We are (thankfully!) rich enough that I don’t have to do all the cleaning myself. I am grateful. I don’t think that makes me a less competent or worse mother and wife, it’s just who I am and DH accepts that about me. If we couldn’t afford cleaners, we would just live in a messier house and I would be more stressed, but we would survive.

You don’t think you are less competent than a mother who is not easily overwhelmed? Is there are reason everything overwhelms you? Have you sought treatment for it?

NP. No it doesn’t make her less competent of a mother.

You’re really mean by the way.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Split. I’m a stay at home mom, not a maid.

So husband works and he has to do half the cleaning? ok…he’s happy with this arrangement?

have you ever been a sahp for young children? Yes, he’s happy, why wouldn’t he be? He didn’t marry me for my cleaning skills.

🤣you kidding right? I’ve been a SAHM since my children were born and yes, I always cleaned the house and did housework too. My husband works, takes overtimes, so I can take care of our kids. You’re probably rich rich, so you think simple tasks that normal folks do are super demanding and feel overwhelmed when you have to clean the bathrooms.

NP. Lots of people who don’t have a lot of money find cleaning demanding and overwhelming. In fact every MC SAH mom I know with the exception of one feels that way.

Different SAHM poster and I don’t understand this. I’ve been a working mom and a SAHM and can definitely see the need/desire for a cleaning lady when both parents are working. Really odd to me to outsource basic house responsibilities when the point of staying at home is to NOT outsource. Of course you take care of children, but keeping the house clean takes like 5% of my total day, which I can do because I…stay at home. If picking up toys, wiping down sinks, and putting dishes in the dishwasher is overwhelming for someone who is home all day, I’d assume they are not a clean person at all to begin with. Anyone with a basic sense cleanliness should be able to do that. My young kids can, in fact.

I don't think you *really* mean that. Do you stay home so to make your life easier and spend more time with kids or so you can completely avoid outsourcing?

And congrats on your basic sense cleanliness, but not everybody is like you. I know sometimes it's hard to use your imagination but you can just believe others whey they say they're not like you.

You sound triggered. Are you messy? Also lol at the idea of staying at home to make life easier. You’re definitely not a SAHM.

Of course there are people not like me. Most don’t stay at home! The amount of SAHMs in this country who pay others to clean their house is definitely less than 1%. You enjoy your little bubble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Split. I’m a stay at home mom, not a maid.

So husband works and he has to do half the cleaning? ok…he’s happy with this arrangement?

have you ever been a sahp for young children? Yes, he’s happy, why wouldn’t he be? He didn’t marry me for my cleaning skills.

🤣you kidding right? I’ve been a SAHM since my children were born and yes, I always cleaned the house and did housework too. My husband works, takes overtimes, so I can take care of our kids. You’re probably rich rich, so you think simple tasks that normal folks do are super demanding and feel overwhelmed when you have to clean the bathrooms.

NP. Lots of people who don’t have a lot of money find cleaning demanding and overwhelming. In fact every MC SAH mom I know with the exception of one feels that way.

Different SAHM poster and I don’t understand this. I’ve been a working mom and a SAHM and can definitely see the need/desire for a cleaning lady when both parents are working. Really odd to me to outsource basic house responsibilities when the point of staying at home is to NOT outsource. Of course you take care of children, but keeping the house clean takes like 5% of my total day, which I can do because I…stay at home. If picking up toys, wiping down sinks, and putting dishes in the dishwasher is overwhelming for someone who is home all day, I’d assume they are not a clean person at all to begin with. Anyone with a basic sense cleanliness should be able to do that. My young kids can, in fact.

I don't think you *really* mean that. Do you stay home so to make your life easier and spend more time with kids or so you can completely avoid outsourcing?

And congrats on your basic sense cleanliness, but not everybody is like you. I know sometimes it's hard to use your imagination but you can just believe others whey they say they're not like you.

You sound triggered. Are you messy? Also lol at the idea of staying at home to make life easier. You’re definitely not a SAHM.

Of course there are people not like me. Most don’t stay at home! The amount of SAHMs in this country who pay others to clean their house is definitely less than 1%. You enjoy your little bubble.

I’m not triggered. I am messy. I am a stay at home mom. It makes life easier for us. I know a ton of stay at home moms (I’m Mormon so most of my friends are stay at home moms) whose husbands don’t make a lot of money and are overwhelmed and every once in a while treat themselves to a housekeeper.

Not my most eloquent comment but I hope that clears things up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a housecleaner once every other week, so I do outsource some of the cleaning but I still do a lot myself.

I think most people consider this outsourcing. Everybody still has to do the daily stuff. And obvs as a SAHM there are a lot more messes. I feel like I’m very familiar with so many fluids.

[Anonymous]

If I were messy, I would go back to work because I would be absolutely mortified to be a SAHM and have a messy house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I were messy, I would go back to work because I would be absolutely mortified to be a SAHM and have a messy house.

Even if your husband made 600K?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I were messy, I would go back to work because I would be absolutely mortified to be a SAHM and have a messy house.

Even if your husband made 600K?

My husband does make $600k (more.) He would be mortified to invite friends and family into a constantly messy house. House cleaners don’t make you be not messy. You still have to declutter and put things away.

They way some of you talk about messiness like it’s a trait that can’t be changed - do something about it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have house cleaners but I still clean everyday. Of course.

Yes, I’m a SAHM of little kids and I hire monthly cleaners for bathroom, kitchen, deep cleaning, but I actually still do a lot of cleaning and tidying all day long. Plus dishes, laundry, vacuuming.

[Anonymous]

We clean it ourselves. Everyone has jobs to do to ensure we all pitch in and create a happy and harmonious home for us to live in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I were messy, I would go back to work because I would be absolutely mortified to be a SAHM and have a messy house.

Even if your husband made 600K?

My husband does make $600k (more.) He would be mortified to invite friends and family into a constantly messy house. House cleaners don’t make you be not messy. You still have to declutter and put things away.

They way some of you talk about messiness like it’s a trait that can’t be changed - do something about it!

You didn't actually answer my question, which was *if* you were messy would you go get a job just so you would be less embarrassed. Seems super weird to me.

House cleaners make a messy person's home less messy because somebody coming over to clean motivates you to put things where they go, because they can't clean unless things are put away. Same thing with inviting people over. Before the pandemic I would be sure to have people over less a month in part to motivate myself to clean up.

Messiness isn't a character flaw like people seem to think it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I were messy, I would go back to work because I would be absolutely mortified to be a SAHM and have a messy house.

Even if your husband made 600K?

My husband does make $600k (more.) He would be mortified to invite friends and family into a constantly messy house. House cleaners don’t make you be not messy. You still have to declutter and put things away.

They way some of you talk about messiness like it’s a trait that can’t be changed - do something about it!

You didn't actually answer my question, which was *if* you were messy would you go get a job just so you would be less embarrassed. Seems super weird to me.

House cleaners make a messy person's home less messy because somebody coming over to clean motivates you to put things where they go, because they can't clean unless things are put away. Same thing with inviting people over. Before the pandemic I would be sure to have people over less a month in part to motivate myself to clean up.

Messiness isn't a character flaw like people seem to think it is.

It’s fixable. You choose not to and make excuses. Especially since you don’t work!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I were messy, I would go back to work because I would be absolutely mortified to be a SAHM and have a messy house.

Even if your husband made 600K?

My husband does make $600k (more.) He would be mortified to invite friends and family into a constantly messy house. House cleaners don’t make you be not messy. You still have to declutter and put things away.

They way some of you talk about messiness like it’s a trait that can’t be changed - do something about it!

You didn't actually answer my question, which was *if* you were messy would you go get a job just so you would be less embarrassed. Seems super weird to me.

House cleaners make a messy person's home less messy because somebody coming over to clean motivates you to put things where they go, because they can't clean unless things are put away. Same thing with inviting people over. Before the pandemic I would be sure to have people over less a month in part to motivate myself to clean up.

Messiness isn't a character flaw like people seem to think it is.

It’s fixable. You choose not to and make excuses. Especially since you don’t work!

This is super weird.
Does it really bother you to know that there are people out there in the world with messy houses? I don't even care if I am invited over to someone's home and it's a mess. I could care less if some stranger on the internet has a messy house. Why are you so worried about this, pp?

[Anonymous]

I do it. With kids and pets I feel like I spend half of my day cleaning.

[Anonymous]

There’s a huge difference between cluttered and messy and being a SAHM has really driven it home for me. If everything has a place, it doesn’t matter if there is total chaos. It can be put back to perfectly tidy in an hour or two and then you just have to clean, which is much easier to outsource.

Even when my house is organized, there’s always a small tornado of random crap. New toys, repair projects, etc. Keeping that tornado small is the main thing because if it gets too big you are doomed.