If you SAH, do you clean your own house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I were messy, I would go back to work because I would be absolutely mortified to be a SAHM and have a messy house.

Even if your husband made 600K?

My husband does make $600k (more.) He would be mortified to invite friends and family into a constantly messy house. House cleaners don’t make you be not messy. You still have to declutter and put things away.

They way some of you talk about messiness like it’s a trait that can’t be changed - do something about it!

You didn't actually answer my question, which was *if* you were messy would you go get a job just so you would be less embarrassed. Seems super weird to me.

House cleaners make a messy person's home less messy because somebody coming over to clean motivates you to put things where they go, because they can't clean unless things are put away. Same thing with inviting people over. Before the pandemic I would be sure to have people over less a month in part to motivate myself to clean up.

Messiness isn't a character flaw like people seem to think it is.

It’s fixable. You choose not to and make excuses. Especially since you don’t work!

I think it's sad that you see morally neutral personality traits (or tendencies if you prefer) as something to fix. It's like you feel like somebody isn't acceptable as they are and so they need to be constantly "working" on themselves. That sounds so exhausting and maybe more importantly ineffective. It's easier to just hire a housekeeper once or twice a month to motivate me to clean than "fix" my messiness. That way I have time and energy for the other things I do that you might not consider work, but do take effort and are far more valuable and meaningful to me than cleaning up messes. Plus I'm chill and fun, unlike a lot of people who seem to be rigid about housekeeping, and pretty non-judgmental. I'd never suggest that somebody should be mortified for anything that wasn't a moral failure.

I am impressed with people who manage to consistently keep an orderly and tidy home with little kids aorund all the time, but sometimes I don't understand their priorities. Some say they don't have time for sufficient sleep, exercise, dates with their spouse, reading, other hobbies, whatever. I'm sure some are highly efficient and have less demanding kids so even if they dropped some cleaning tasks they still wouldn't have enough time for any of these things, but I can't help but wonder if reduced expectations for order and cleanliness would make their lives better.

But what do I know? Maybe I'm totally off. I don't know thier lives, and even if I did it's not my place to judge. See how easy that is?

[Anonymous]

I SAH, and do the day to day cleaning, but have a cleaning person come every 2 weeks.

[Anonymous]

I am a SAHM to three small children. I clean up daily, maybe even hourly. However, we do have a bi weekly cleaning service to keep things manageable and to keep me from cleaning toilets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I were messy, I would go back to work because I would be absolutely mortified to be a SAHM and have a messy house.

Even if your husband made 600K?

My husband does make $600k (more.) He would be mortified to invite friends and family into a constantly messy house. House cleaners don’t make you be not messy. You still have to declutter and put things away.

They way some of you talk about messiness like it’s a trait that can’t be changed - do something about it!

You didn't actually answer my question, which was *if* you were messy would you go get a job just so you would be less embarrassed. Seems super weird to me.

House cleaners make a messy person's home less messy because somebody coming over to clean motivates you to put things where they go, because they can't clean unless things are put away. Same thing with inviting people over. Before the pandemic I would be sure to have people over less a month in part to motivate myself to clean up.

Messiness isn't a character flaw like people seem to think it is.

It’s fixable. You choose not to and make excuses. Especially since you don’t work!

I think it's sad that you see morally neutral personality traits (or tendencies if you prefer) as something to fix. It's like you feel like somebody isn't acceptable as they are and so they need to be constantly "working" on themselves. That sounds so exhausting and maybe more importantly ineffective. It's easier to just hire a housekeeper once or twice a month to motivate me to clean than "fix" my messiness. That way I have time and energy for the other things I do that you might not consider work, but do take effort and are far more valuable and meaningful to me than cleaning up messes. Plus I'm chill and fun, unlike a lot of people who seem to be rigid about housekeeping, and pretty non-judgmental. I'd never suggest that somebody should be mortified for anything that wasn't a moral failure.

I am impressed with people who manage to consistently keep an orderly and tidy home with little kids aorund all the time, but sometimes I don't understand their priorities. Some say they don't have time for sufficient sleep, exercise, dates with their spouse, reading, other hobbies, whatever. I'm sure some are highly efficient and have less demanding kids so even if they dropped some cleaning tasks they still wouldn't have enough time for any of these things, but I can't help but wonder if reduced expectations for order and cleanliness would make their lives better.

But what do I know? Maybe I'm totally off. I don't know thier lives, and even if I did it's not my place to judge. See how easy that is?

I grew up with messy unorganized parents. Its really unfair to the kids. Try harder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a SAHM to three small children. I clean up daily, maybe even hourly. However, we do have a bi weekly cleaning service to keep things manageable and to keep me from cleaning toilets.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I were messy, I would go back to work because I would be absolutely mortified to be a SAHM and have a messy house.

Even if your husband made 600K?

My husband does make $600k (more.) He would be mortified to invite friends and family into a constantly messy house. House cleaners don’t make you be not messy. You still have to declutter and put things away.

They way some of you talk about messiness like it’s a trait that can’t be changed - do something about it!

You didn't actually answer my question, which was *if* you were messy would you go get a job just so you would be less embarrassed. Seems super weird to me.

House cleaners make a messy person's home less messy because somebody coming over to clean motivates you to put things where they go, because they can't clean unless things are put away. Same thing with inviting people over. Before the pandemic I would be sure to have people over less a month in part to motivate myself to clean up.

Messiness isn't a character flaw like people seem to think it is.

It’s fixable. You choose not to and make excuses. Especially since you don’t work!

I think it's sad that you see morally neutral personality traits (or tendencies if you prefer) as something to fix. It's like you feel like somebody isn't acceptable as they are and so they need to be constantly "working" on themselves. That sounds so exhausting and maybe more importantly ineffective. It's easier to just hire a housekeeper once or twice a month to motivate me to clean than "fix" my messiness. That way I have time and energy for the other things I do that you might not consider work, but do take effort and are far more valuable and meaningful to me than cleaning up messes. Plus I'm chill and fun, unlike a lot of people who seem to be rigid about housekeeping, and pretty non-judgmental. I'd never suggest that somebody should be mortified for anything that wasn't a moral failure.

I am impressed with people who manage to consistently keep an orderly and tidy home with little kids aorund all the time, but sometimes I don't understand their priorities. Some say they don't have time for sufficient sleep, exercise, dates with their spouse, reading, other hobbies, whatever. I'm sure some are highly efficient and have less demanding kids so even if they dropped some cleaning tasks they still wouldn't have enough time for any of these things, but I can't help but wonder if reduced expectations for order and cleanliness would make their lives better.

But what do I know? Maybe I'm totally off. I don't know thier lives, and even if I did it's not my place to judge. See how easy that is?

+1. Well said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I were messy, I would go back to work because I would be absolutely mortified to be a SAHM and have a messy house.

Even if your husband made 600K?

My husband does make $600k (more.) He would be mortified to invite friends and family into a constantly messy house. House cleaners don’t make you be not messy. You still have to declutter and put things away.

They way some of you talk about messiness like it’s a trait that can’t be changed - do something about it!

You didn't actually answer my question, which was *if* you were messy would you go get a job just so you would be less embarrassed. Seems super weird to me.

House cleaners make a messy person's home less messy because somebody coming over to clean motivates you to put things where they go, because they can't clean unless things are put away. Same thing with inviting people over. Before the pandemic I would be sure to have people over less a month in part to motivate myself to clean up.

Messiness isn't a character flaw like people seem to think it is.

It’s fixable. You choose not to and make excuses. Especially since you don’t work!

I think it's sad that you see morally neutral personality traits (or tendencies if you prefer) as something to fix. It's like you feel like somebody isn't acceptable as they are and so they need to be constantly "working" on themselves. That sounds so exhausting and maybe more importantly ineffective. It's easier to just hire a housekeeper once or twice a month to motivate me to clean than "fix" my messiness. That way I have time and energy for the other things I do that you might not consider work, but do take effort and are far more valuable and meaningful to me than cleaning up messes. Plus I'm chill and fun, unlike a lot of people who seem to be rigid about housekeeping, and pretty non-judgmental. I'd never suggest that somebody should be mortified for anything that wasn't a moral failure.

I am impressed with people who manage to consistently keep an orderly and tidy home with little kids aorund all the time, but sometimes I don't understand their priorities. Some say they don't have time for sufficient sleep, exercise, dates with their spouse, reading, other hobbies, whatever. I'm sure some are highly efficient and have less demanding kids so even if they dropped some cleaning tasks they still wouldn't have enough time for any of these things, but I can't help but wonder if reduced expectations for order and cleanliness would make their lives better.

But what do I know? Maybe I'm totally off. I don't know thier lives, and even if I did it's not my place to judge. See how easy that is?

I grew up with messy unorganized parents. Its really unfair to the kids. Try harder.

Or maybe I could just keep hiring house cleaners and inviting people over. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a SAHM to three small children. I clean up daily, maybe even hourly. However, we do have a bi weekly cleaning service to keep things manageable and to keep me from cleaning toilets.

You are the one using them, it’s only right you clean them, don’t you think? You are disgusted by your own toilets? Wow…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I SAH, and do the day to day cleaning, but have a cleaning person come every 2 weeks.

This works for us too

[Anonymous]

No my DH still cleans and we have a housekeeper.

I am a SAHM but I try be out as much as possible with my child doing things. We're not at home watching tv and cleaning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How clean do you people need your houses to be? Wiping down the baseboards! I think we do that every few years.

Your house sounds filthy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I were messy, I would go back to work because I would be absolutely mortified to be a SAHM and have a messy house.

Even if your husband made 600K?

My husband does make $600k (more.) He would be mortified to invite friends and family into a constantly messy house. House cleaners don’t make you be not messy. You still have to declutter and put things away.

They way some of you talk about messiness like it’s a trait that can’t be changed - do something about it!

You didn't actually answer my question, which was *if* you were messy would you go get a job just so you would be less embarrassed. Seems super weird to me.

House cleaners make a messy person's home less messy because somebody coming over to clean motivates you to put things where they go, because they can't clean unless things are put away. Same thing with inviting people over. Before the pandemic I would be sure to have people over less a month in part to motivate myself to clean up.

Messiness isn't a character flaw like people seem to think it is.

It’s fixable. You choose not to and make excuses. Especially since you don’t work!

I think it's sad that you see morally neutral personality traits (or tendencies if you prefer) as something to fix. It's like you feel like somebody isn't acceptable as they are and so they need to be constantly "working" on themselves. That sounds so exhausting and maybe more importantly ineffective. It's easier to just hire a housekeeper once or twice a month to motivate me to clean than "fix" my messiness. That way I have time and energy for the other things I do that you might not consider work, but do take effort and are far more valuable and meaningful to me than cleaning up messes. Plus I'm chill and fun, unlike a lot of people who seem to be rigid about housekeeping, and pretty non-judgmental. I'd never suggest that somebody should be mortified for anything that wasn't a moral failure.

I am impressed with people who manage to consistently keep an orderly and tidy home with little kids aorund all the time, but sometimes I don't understand their priorities. Some say they don't have time for sufficient sleep, exercise, dates with their spouse, reading, other hobbies, whatever. I'm sure some are highly efficient and have less demanding kids so even if they dropped some cleaning tasks they still wouldn't have enough time for any of these things, but I can't help but wonder if reduced expectations for order and cleanliness would make their lives better.

But what do I know? Maybe I'm totally off. I don't know thier lives, and even if I did it's not my place to judge. See how easy that is?

I grew up with messy unorganized parents. Its really unfair to the kids. .

Same here. Our house was a mess growing up. Not hoarder level but closer to that than clean. As a teen it was kind of embarrassing to have friends over.

My house is clean and somewhat organized. I’m not doing that to my kids. I’m not a clean freak by any means but I try to keep the clutter out of sight.

And we have a cleaning service every 2 weeks.

[Anonymous]

Three kids; 3/6/11
HHI about $250k

We have a cleaner that comes once a week for 8 hours, for the last 3+ years. That doesn't mean the house stays that way the other 7 days, so I definitely do what's needed but having the weekly help is great and no regrets.