Do not bring a sibling to a birthday party?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We always rsvp no to any party that doesn’t include siblings. DH works on weekends and I’m not hiring a babysitter for a birthday party.

You should RSVP no in this case. The host family shouldn't have to pay for another kid because you are too cheap to pay for a babysitter.

Eh, yeah, PP. That what I just said - I always RSVP no.

So when do you schedule your own child’s parties since weekends are out?

Why would weekends be out? She can have all her kids at her own kids
Party

No. According to DCUM, you can’t even have your own other kids at your birthday kid’s party! And one one parent can be in attendance. And everyone has to RSVP the instant they get the evite. And never say “no gifts” because that is rude.

+1. “But never say no gifts because that is rude”. So true! Okay to say “no siblings” and “no more than one parent” but not “no gifts”.

[Anonymous]

If an invitation says siblings welcome, you can bring siblings. We've always included siblings but people take advantage and have brought friends/relatives and don't care how much it costs us for their 4-6 kids and its pretty obnoxious. Some of the venues really add up and if they don't tell you complicates food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We always rsvp no to any party that doesn’t include siblings. DH works on weekends and I’m not hiring a babysitter for a birthday party.

Same. And it has nothing to do with cheapness. It just isn’t worth the hassle for me to find a babysitter so I can spend 2 hrs standing around in a bounce house warehouse.

If you are going to require parents to stay at your child’s party then you shouldn’t book it at such a place that siblings will be a huge problem. If you want to do this, just expect more no responses than otherwise

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We always rsvp no to any party that doesn’t include siblings. DH works on weekends and I’m not hiring a babysitter for a birthday party.

Same. And it has nothing to do with cheapness. It just isn’t worth the hassle for me to find a babysitter so I can spend 2 hrs standing around in a bounce house warehouse.

If you are going to require parents to stay at your child’s party then you shouldn’t book it at such a place that siblings will be a huge problem. If you want to do this, just expect more no responses than otherwise

Where is the other parent?

I always tag teamed with Dh when kids were younger. If we didn’t know the family and kid was just a random classmate, we would decline. If it was a close friend, both boys would have been invited. Most of the time, I would take turns with Dh taking invited kid to party.

Now I have 3 kids and parties are drop off.

[Anonymous]

I just had a party today and a parent asked if a sibling could come. It would have cost me $40 extra for the child. Of course I was a gracious host and I said yes nicely but inside I was annoyed. She messaged me while I was running around getting cake and getting ready for the party so I didn’t have a chance to text her. When she arrived, I said of course the sibling can join.

Kids also were taking extra favors for siblings. My own kids didn’t get favors because of siblings who didn’t attend the party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does this apply to infants? Bringing my four year old to a party and was planning on bringing my 3 month old (needs to breastfeed) and wearing her the whole time. Never crossed my mind to ask the host.

Bounce house / indoor play spaces don’t charge for kids under a certain age - 1 or 2 depending on the venue. Infants don’t eat cupcakes or receive a good bag. You are fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We always rsvp no to any party that doesn’t include siblings. DH works on weekends and I’m not hiring a babysitter for a birthday party.

Same. And it has nothing to do with cheapness. It just isn’t worth the hassle for me to find a babysitter so I can spend 2 hrs standing around in a bounce house warehouse.

If you are going to require parents to stay at your child’s party then you shouldn’t book it at such a place that siblings will be a huge problem. If you want to do this, just expect more no responses than otherwise

Where is the other parent?

I always tag teamed with Dh when kids were younger. If we didn’t know the family and kid was just a random classmate, we would decline. If it was a close friend, both boys would have been invited. Most of the time, I would take turns with Dh taking invited kid to party.

Now I have 3 kids and parties are drop off.

I always think this question is odd. I don’t know anyone with two parents that both have every weekend off, and a lot of people don’t have flexible work schedules. These parties are always in the middle of the day and not really designed around a typical work day.

[Anonymous]

I do think its a little rude to bring siblings but its not rude to ask. They can say no and that's ok. I also have little ones and husband works weekends so not getting a babysitter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do think its a little rude to bring siblings but its not rude to ask. They can say no and that's ok. I also have little ones and husband works weekends so not getting a babysitter.

I sometimes would RSVP that we could not make it because Dh is working and I had both kids. Sometimes host would tell me to bring sibling and other times the host would say nothing. I feel this was a more polite way of asking if I could bring the sibling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We always rsvp no to any party that doesn’t include siblings. DH works on weekends and I’m not hiring a babysitter for a birthday party.

Same. And it has nothing to do with cheapness. It just isn’t worth the hassle for me to find a babysitter so I can spend 2 hrs standing around in a bounce house warehouse.

If you are going to require parents to stay at your child’s party then you shouldn’t book it at such a place that siblings will be a huge problem. If you want to do this, just expect more no responses than otherwise

Where is the other parent?

I always tag teamed with Dh when kids were younger. If we didn’t know the family and kid was just a random classmate, we would decline. If it was a close friend, both boys would have been invited. Most of the time, I would take turns with Dh taking invited kid to party.

Now I have 3 kids and parties are drop off.

What bubble do you live in that you can’t conceive of a family that doesn’t have two adults who are willing and able to center their work and their lives around getting a three year old to a birthday party?
I mean, yes, some people can and do. But it blows my mind that you cannot imagine anyone having a life or a job that doesn’t revolve around your child’s birthday party.

[Anonymous]

I honestly don't see the issue here.

I have four kids. Sometimes DH cane watch the others and sometimes he can't.

If it is a public place and not a private party, like SkyZone or a trampoline place, I just tell siblings to stay away from the party area and I pay their way in like a normal day. Easy.

If it is at a house, I don't bring the siblings and invited child would likely not attend. I would not ask about bringing the siblings. Only caveat is if my child is super close to the birthday child then that parent already knows our situation and would include his/her siblings if DH couldn't watch the others straight from the gate.

Why does this board make things so hard?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We always rsvp no to any party that doesn’t include siblings. DH works on weekends and I’m not hiring a babysitter for a birthday party.

Same. And it has nothing to do with cheapness. It just isn’t worth the hassle for me to find a babysitter so I can spend 2 hrs standing around in a bounce house warehouse.

If you are going to require parents to stay at your child’s party then you shouldn’t book it at such a place that siblings will be a huge problem. If you want to do this, just expect more no responses than otherwise

Where is the other parent?

I always tag teamed with Dh when kids were younger. If we didn’t know the family and kid was just a random classmate, we would decline. If it was a close friend, both boys would have been invited. Most of the time, I would take turns with Dh taking invited kid to party.

Now I have 3 kids and parties are drop off.

What bubble do you live in that you can’t conceive of a family that doesn’t have two adults who are willing and able to center their work and their lives around getting a three year old to a birthday party?
I mean, yes, some people can and do. But it blows my mind that you cannot imagine anyone having a life or a job that doesn’t revolve around your child’s birthday party.

Most of our friends don’t work weekends. Dh is a physician and is on call on weekends sometimes. Of course parents are busy with other plans sometimes.

I just said that if it was a random classmate we don’t know, we would just decline and that if it was a good friend, sibling would have been invited.

We are actually a very busy family with 5 social family members. If it is a close friend, we prioritize. My 2 older kids are drop off age so even if we are not available, we can usually find them rides even if the birthday family picks up my child.

When we have a party, we check with closest friends for time and date. Some people can’t make it. Some people don’t rsvp at all. Some are single parents. Some parents can’t open an Evite. Some parents are divorced and the parent who had the kid that weekend didn’t know about the party. I’m well aware of all the types of parents out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every time this topic comes up here, the vote is unanimous: don’t even think about bringing a sibling to a birthday party. Asking the host is also rude. Well, my daughter was invited to a birthday party today and I followed the DCUMs advice and left DS home with DH. I was quite surprised to see EVERY sibling at the party. Just thought I’d share. Please don’t always rely on the advice you are given here.

No it means there were a lot of rude people at the party.

[Anonymous]

I think it is almost always fine to ask because most parents can surmise the situations where it is rude to ask. I don’t have an issue with saying no. We say siblings are welcome in the invite when the additional cost is marginal. I ask if a sibling can come if it is a party at the park. Today DC went Go Kart racing - where the per kid cost is $75 or more - no way I would have asked in this circumstance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't bring a sibling who has not been invited. Full stop.

It is actually important for siblings who were not invited to learn how to deal with not being invited. Also, it teaches siblings to deal with the fact that their brother or sister have their own friends. It is a way of teaching boundaries. I have watched moms argue that both their kids should go to a party when only one was invited because they want to "always keep things equal forever" between their kids. That is delusional thinking.

True but as others have stated sometimes it’s just a matter if practicality. I have a 3.5 yr old and 1.5 year old. It’s not a drop off party and I don’t have anyone to watch the 1.5 year old most weekends. DW is an ER nurse and has to work many weekends. We just don’t go to the party.

Start finding a roster of sitters. You are going to have a lot of weekend commitments as the kids get older, whether with sports or more birthday parties, and you don’t want to deny your kids the opportunity to enjoy them. If your wife will truly be unable to help most weekends, finding someone trustworthy and reliable now will help you a lot going forward.

Thanks but I don’t want to do that. I like spending time with both kids. I will wait until kids have drop-off parties and will bring one to the others practices and games.

Don’t expect to be getting invited to drop off parties when you skipped the parties for all the previous years.