Anyone facing jealous friends now that your kids are in private school?

[Anonymous]

OP, people think about you way less than you seem to believe. Stop bragging about your kid. No one cares except your family. My kids have been in both public and private schools. I hate to break this to you, but there are advantages and disadvantages to both.

[Anonymous]

You can only ask why if you're really, really good friends, in private. Or if you have a specific reason. When I was PTA president I did ask a few people if they had anything they thought would be helpful for me to know, and I appreciated that they were candid. Unfortunately I already knew the things they said, but it was a nice conversation and never impolite.

[Anonymous]

Honestly OP, I might be jealous that you have a sh*t-ton of money, but if I had enough for private school tuition I don't think that's where I'd spend it anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP sharing the facts of how this went down within a social group we belonged to at the time we applied to Private:

First off, just about every parent in this social group had applied to Private for their kids, including us.

Our kid was the only one in the group accepted anywhere with everyone else's kid not accepted.

Among the group the reaction was split. A few parents openly expressed that they were happy for us. A few others stated that they were " secretly relieved that their kids did not get in because, after all its a toxic place or privilege and over priced" ( these people HAD APPLIED though, despite this)

One parent seemed to get really invested in fact that our DC was admitted for 2 years afterwards she would email me outlining what I could be doing with my money if I weren't paying tuition and becoming increasingly hostile to me personally

Very, very weird

Now that is crazy. Do you know her really well? If not, that's insane. She has no right to tell you what you could and could not be doing with money. Where do people get that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly OP, I might be jealous that you have a sh*t-ton of money, but if I had enough for private school tuition I don't think that's where I'd spend it anyway.

Or that your child's super smart and got into something competitive. But having attended plenty of private schools myself and seen all too many people be thrilled in the first few years and then run into major problems, I do not envy private school families.

[Anonymous]

OP, NO ONE is jealous of you spending $53,000 for your child to attend Bullis. Guaranteed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, NO ONE is jealous of you spending $53,000 for your child to attend Bullis. Guaranteed.

#facts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op is delusional! Make sure you keep your public school friends. Navigating play dates and hangouts with kids who live all over the dmv can be a hassle so it is nice to have your old friend group still in the mix.

My kid is in high school and hangs out with his friends from public elementary school every weekend. He usually hangs out with his private school friends one night and the 'old crew' the other. The 'old crew' from the neighborhood now go to 6 different high schools between them: 3 regular public (2 at one local; one zoned for another); one TJ, 2 each different privates- neither the one my son goes too. These boys were all together from K-8.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We went through this a couple of times with both kids. There is jealousy and anger involved, especially if you tell them it is because of substandard MCPS.

We told people we wanted religious element in education and the satisfied them. But know that they are still steaming about it. One time I posted something on Facebook about common core and how I am glad my kids don't deal with it, and this rabid mom attacked me. She is one who asked my why I pulled my daughter out of MCPS before anyone. She also seemed happy to hear that it was religious reasons. But now she knows there are other benefits we enjoy and she is angry.

So you post something inflammatory on Facebook, and are annoyed that someone reacted to it? You can’t even see your part in this, can you?

+1

What was the purpose of your Facebook post?

- private school parent

[Anonymous]

There are some people who are threatened by anyone who makes different choices than they do. Also their kids might have applied and been rejected. Then they say they have heard bad things after the fact about the school in question as a way to appease themselves. They loved it when they were applying though.
Or they can’t afford it, and tell themselves they would donate all that money if they had it… whatever, to each their own, OP.
People are weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP sharing the facts of how this went down within a social group we belonged to at the time we applied to Private:

First off, just about every parent in this social group had applied to Private for their kids, including us.

Our kid was the only one in the group accepted anywhere with everyone else's kid not accepted.

Among the group the reaction was split. A few parents openly expressed that they were happy for us. A few others stated that they were " secretly relieved that their kids did not get in because, after all its a toxic place or privilege and over priced" ( these people HAD APPLIED though, despite this)

One parent seemed to get really invested in fact that our DC was admitted for 2 years afterwards she would email me outlining what I could be doing with my money if I weren't paying tuition and becoming increasingly hostile to me personally

Very, very weird

Now that is crazy. Do you know her really well? If not, that's insane. She has no right to tell you what you could and could not be doing with money. Where do people get that?

That is completely crazy. But also entertaining.

[Anonymous]

Public or private--neither are as great or awful as we think when are kids are younger. OP--all the kids in your social circle will be just. fine.

[Anonymous]

I have a neighbor who used to always stop to say hello and chitchat (our kids were in the same class). Ever since she learned that my kid is now in private she ignores me!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, they are not your tribe any longer. Accept it. Don't make it worse by assigning blame. Btw, you would seem clueless to not understand a basic fact: those neighborhood kids are your child's peers, only you're saying they're not good enough. You are seeking better. Or you are seeking a school environment better than what these have parents have chose. So that's criticism. Not spoken but it's there. Be gracious. You should never have to accept rude comments to your face but accept that the dynamic for you within the neighborhood has drastically changed. That's on you. You chose this.

This. This is what I was thinking but wasn't sure how to phrase. OP, by opting out of public school you are essentially saying you want something "better" for your children. That message is fine, but it's also loud and clear and it effectively renders judgment on other parents' choice to use public school. Of course, it's an American ethos to proclaim that "I do not judge" and "I do not care," but it's just not true in such cases. It is judging that what's good enough for your children's peers isn't good enough for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When my son got into Gonzaga, a friend asked me why I wasn't concerned that he was going to be surrounded by a bunch of entitled and privileged kids. I kid you not. I was almost defending the school talking about the diversity in the school and all the financial aid they give. Also talked about the service they do, She didn't want to know about it. We hardly speak now.

I definitely wouldn't lead with that question, but it is a real issue (with no shade toward Gonzaga because I know very little about the school). It's something I worry about. I was talking to a friend about the school my child will be attending next year and she said "do you think other parents are going to be okay with their kids visiting your neighborhood?" I wasn't offended, I'd already been worrying about that.