Conservative couple married for 10 years, yet no children: Would you assume marital issues?

[Anonymous]

In fact I believe I may in fact know this couple to whom and which you are referring and while I would agree they appear, to most eyes, to be of a conservative nature they are in noway hamstrung or hidebound by such delineations. In fact they recently one the state lottery in a small northeastern state (I'll let you guess which one, but be careful it may not be the one you're thinking of.)

And I will she is hoping to become In The Family Way aka "With Child" as soon as is practicable.

[Anonymous]

Who else thinks that OP is wondering if there are marital problems sufficient to enable her to get her hooks into the DH . . . .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d just assume fertility issues from one or both and neither believing in IVF or adoption for whatever reason.

Fertility issues when they married around age 25? That seems very unlikely, no? Or do you mean even though they were married, they waited for careers and other pursuits, and by the time they really tried it was challenging?

My mom married at 26 and had fertility issues. You didn't know that was possible? My parents adopted kids, although it was much easier then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a 30-something Republican guy married to his high school sweetheart and they also do not have kids. He looks just like Mike Pence's chief of staff Nick Ayers. He and his wife are foodies and travel a bunch. No clue if it's fertility issues. For those saying mind your business, it's always the first thing that comes up whenever anyone brings up this couple in a group setting. So sorry, people are going to talk about stuff like this, especially if you wear your republican and conservative viewpoints on your sleeve.

That's so pathetic. I can't imagine talking about why a couple had kids or not, let alone it being the first thing that come up. You need better friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are now in their mid 30s. I thought that was typically the motive for marrying so young, especially among staunch Conservatives.

Sounds like Ben Shapiro's younger sister. I think she's 30 though.

[Anonymous]

I really don't think you can make any assumptions. One of my best friends from college has been married for almost 20 years and they were adamant from the outset that they didn't want kids. They are conservatives but really like being DINKs, traveling, going out to dinner, concerts, etc. I don't think either of them ever felt strongly about starting their own family. She's an only child and both of her parents have since died. He comes from a messed up family. We all thought they would change their minds about having kids but they never did.

I have another friend who's been married for 5 years and they agreed before getting married that neither wanted kids.

A former colleague has been married for over 30 years and they don't have kids.

Not everyone wants to have kids, even among the conservative set.

[Anonymous]

My husband and I met in college and married a few years after graduation. We're not conservatives, but we are Christians who go to church every week, etc. so one might think we are. We waited 10 years until our first kid cause we were both finishing up grad school, figuring out careers, weren't ready for kids. Now have two young kids, 15 years into marriage.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend who got married right before I got married 15 years ago. We are now 43-44 years old. I used to wonder about when they would have kids when we were 35. I had 2 by then. I assume fertility problems. Everyone around them has kids and my friend loves kids.

[Anonymous]

I'd think they were bearding for each other.

But that thought only comes into my head because I was raised Mormon (now an ExMo) and marriages to keep up the appearance of being straight was very common. It was also very common for the couples to have kids to keep up the appearances.

[Anonymous]

I know a couple who fit this description, and they just don't want kids. Btw, I know this because we are friends and they told me. I would never speculate about the situation of friends or acquaintances, MYOB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d just assume fertility issues from one or both and neither believing in IVF or adoption for whatever reason.

Fertility issues when they married around age 25? That seems very unlikely, no? Or do you mean even though they were married, they waited for careers and other pursuits, and by the time they really tried it was challenging?

Wow. The ignorance in this post is just astounding. Yes, even young people can have fertility issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you kidding me? Maybe they aren’t at the right place in careers or don’t want kids. Being conservative does not imply being a breeder.

They are, especially he, Conservatives. And marrying so young would suggest they do subscribe to traditional Conservative values, which almost always includes at least a couple of kids.

conservative are also usually a little less.. motivated to do for others, believe in in people being responsible for themselves, bootstraps sort of mindset. parenting requires a lot of sacrifice for helpless others, helpless others get on conservative people's nerves. Also parenting puts you in vulnerable situations where either you shoulder the entire burden yourself which is a conservative vale, to you are willing to share the burdens, I can see how someone doesnt want the responsibility, especially b/c a conservative couple is more likely to grasp the enormity of the burden that comes with parenting b/c they are usually more cautious 'don't rock the boat' planner personality types.

[Anonymous]

No. Are you insane? In what reality does not having kids mean you don't like your spouse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd think they were bearding for each other.

But that thought only comes into my head because I was raised Mormon (now an ExMo) and marriages to keep up the appearance of being straight was very common. It was also very common for the couples to have kids to keep up the appearances.

This has been repeated in this thread a few times. Is it really that common for a 'showy' conservative young man to be gay? And all the few prominent closet cases I've read or heard about have children, so I don't think that's necessarily the 'tell' you make it seem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d just assume fertility issues from one or both and neither believing in IVF or adoption for whatever reason.

Fertility issues when they married around age 25? That seems very unlikely, no? Or do you mean even though they were married, they waited for careers and other pursuits, and by the time they really tried it was challenging?

Wow. The ignorance in this post is just astounding. Yes, even young people can have fertility issues.

+1 most fertility issues are not due to age. If someone has problems in their 30s, it is very likely it would have been the same in their 20s