Conservative couple married for 10 years, yet no children: Would you assume marital issues?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would assume I should mind my own damn business

Totally agree! MYOB OP

[Anonymous]

I would assume you, OP, are probably a horrible person.

[Anonymous]

I know a couple like this. She cannot conceive, IVF did not worked, and they’ve decided adoption was not for them. They have a bunch of dogs and cats and dote on their nieces and nephews.

[Anonymous]

So rude to speculate. There are many, many possible reasons. And as for IVF/assisted reproduction or adoption: some people don't "believe" in it but others decide that they are not willing to bear the physical/psychological/financial costs.

[Anonymous]

Please use this energy for good. There is always time to redeem yourself from petty inclinations.

[Anonymous]

OP it could be that this couple who appear to be so conservative are actually educators or people involved in the educating of the greater culture about the myriad of choices and choice levels that exist in our world, to include, but limited to, Ye Olde Child Rearing, and other homespun undertakings. In fact I believe I may in fact know this couple to whom and which you are referring and while I would agree they appear, to most eyes, to be of a conservative nature they are in noway hamstrung or hidebound by such delineations. In fact they recently one the state lottery in a small northeastern state (I'll let you guess which one, but be careful it may not be the one you're thinking of.) Anyhoo, they have take the windfall and landslide of newly acquired liquid capital and are spending it on restoring a complete strangers catamaran.

[Anonymous]

Of course not. Mind your own business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you kidding me? Maybe they aren’t at the right place in careers or don’t want kids. Being conservative does not imply being a breeder.

Breeder is a strange word to use. And you're wrong. To Christian Conservatives, procreation is paramount. Marry young, have lots of kids. But marrying at age ~ 25 isn't really THAT young. Many Mormons and Evangelicals marry in college and right after at age 22. And if they're both careerists, that would suggest they have the resources and health coverage to seek IVF.

[Anonymous]

This is a very odd post for several reasons but especially bc op immediately jumped to marital problems. I never question my close friends’ reproductive decisions let alone people I don’t know well. Others have already laid out multiple reasons why this couple may not have kids - yet. Or they may not have them ever. None of op’s business. My college age dd says she doesn’t want to have kids bc she doesn’t want to bring kids in this world. She says she has several friends who feel the same way. She doesn’t think she will change her mind. Time will tell…

[Anonymous]

Money?

This could be me and my spouse. We just now have enough money so starting late I guess.

[Anonymous]

Fertility! Leave them alone!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you kidding me? Maybe they aren’t at the right place in careers or don’t want kids. Being conservative does not imply being a breeder.

You could not be further from the truth. Their doctrine is marry young and breed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d just assume fertility issues from one or both and neither believing in IVF or adoption for whatever reason.

Fertility issues when they married around age 25? That seems very unlikely, no? Or do you mean even though they were married, they waited for careers and other pursuits, and by the time they really tried it was challenging?

I dealt with fertility issues due to ovarian cysts at age 27. It’s more common than you realize. But also, why does anyone care why someone else doesn’t have kids??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d just assume fertility issues from one or both and neither believing in IVF or adoption for whatever reason.

Fertility issues when they married around age 25? That seems very unlikely, no? Or do you mean even though they were married, they waited for careers and other pursuits, and by the time they really tried it was challenging?

Np I started dating Dh at 20. At 27 we started trying for kids and we couldn’t get pregnant. Luckily we made enough to afford IVF but it was expensive. We did have kids by mid 30s.

Lots of our friends just don’t want kids. No reason.

[Anonymous]

I know a 30-something Republican guy married to his high school sweetheart and they also do not have kids. He looks just like Mike Pence's chief of staff Nick Ayers. He and his wife are foodies and travel a bunch. No clue if it's fertility issues. For those saying mind your business, it's always the first thing that comes up whenever anyone brings up this couple in a group setting. So sorry, people are going to talk about stuff like this, especially if you wear your republican and conservative viewpoints on your sleeve.