Snarky room mom ruined my morning

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually think "It's fine. We'll do without." is a pretty rude response after someone just told you they didn't get a note because their kid missed 2 weeks of school due to COVID. The correct response is "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear she's been sick. I didn't know. Hope everyone is well now!"

Personally, OP, I would have added that my DC had been hospitalized and NOT offered to run and get the stuff. Because, perspective.

+1 her response was pretty rude

RUDE, rude rude!

That is why I don't tell people I don't know that well things.

I was going to pick up my DD from the clinic and school and passed by the crossing guard. Casually I told her my DD was sick and I was going to pick her up.

Instead of an empathic response, she made some other remark that totally took me off guard. Some people don't get it or don't want to get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the reason you are upset, OP is that Room Parent didn’t show any sort of empathy for what was probably a grueling few weeks for you. Are you in DC? Seems like a lot of people here forgo those basic niceties just to get to the point. I find it jarring too, but I recommend you just move on with your day. You were just a festive napkin to her, anyway. Hoping things improve for you soon! Hang in.

+100. People in DC (including on this thread) seem to lack social graces. First, it’s nice to start a text with “Hi X”. Second, people are more important than f’ing napkins. If someone tells you their family has been ill, you commiserate a least a little!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you really not receive the note or you were (understandably) pre-occupied and didn't respond?
Doesn't matter, she should not assign but seek volunteers. She was not snarky and you have nothing to feel bad about.

Yes! I'm a room parent, and I get annoyed when other people don't volunteer, but I would *never* assign people to do things unless they ask for a random assignment! That's awful - I hope your day got better and hope you don't think about this for another second!

[Anonymous]

Op, so sorry your family has had such a hard time and glad your dd is well enough to be back in school. Clearly, the room mom handled this poorly but please don’t worry about it any longer. 1. No one does paper notes. I was a room mom for my college kids in K and I don’t think we did them back then; 2. She shouldn’t have assigned but since she she did, she should have followed up on Friday - not the morning of the party; 3. She should have expressed some sympathy for your family situation but at least she didn’t take you up on your offer to go buy some napkins. I’m sure the kids were fine with the school’s plain napkins. As pp’s said, she may have forgotten her manners bc she was busy with party prep.

[Anonymous]

She's snarky b/c she didn't say "did you receive note" she said "i'm assuming you aren't" that was not nice

[Anonymous]

honestly room moms almost often have issues. they stress me the bleep out.

[Anonymous]

Never heard back so assuming you aren't?"

Definition of snarky
1: crotchety, snappish
2: sarcastic, impertinent, or irreverent in tone or manner

The above part of the original text was absolutely snarky. I'm sure the room mom was annoyed plates and napkins weren't there, which is understandable; but sending that part of the text, phrased that way, was meant to make OP feel bad. I don't care how quickly she was typing, it could have been phrased less aggressively. And if she were so confident OP wasn't sending them in, no need for the text.

I don't think OP should overly worry about it, but no one enjoys a last minute reminder of something we were supposed to do we didn't even know we were supposed to do!

OP, if sign-ups aren't currently being used in your child's class, maybe you could offer to set that up for future parties? Just make sure you aren't snarky when offering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eh? No big deal. She never heard back from you so she assumed correct.

I would have just responded, that is correct. You’ve had covid and haven’t been at school and didn’t get the note. No apology, just fact. Is that it is. No hard feelings

This. I would have replied, "Sorry, we've been out several weeks with Covid and today is our first day back."

That's it. I wouldn't have said anything else, or thought of it again.

[Anonymous]

That’s very strange that she communicates only via the kids’ folders, rather than email, and also that she issued a directive instead of requesting volunteers. And that no one had indicated to her that your child had been out, and therefore was not receiving communications in her folder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That’s very strange that she communicates only via the kids’ folders, rather than email, and also that she issued a directive instead of requesting volunteers. And that no one had indicated to her that your child had been out, and therefore was not receiving communications in her folder.

Many schools or daycares (we are talking about 3 year olds here) do not give out emails or contact information for the other parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That’s very strange that she communicates only via the kids’ folders, rather than email, and also that she issued a directive instead of requesting volunteers. And that no one had indicated to her that your child had been out, and therefore was not receiving communications in her folder.

Of this is a 3 year old’s in a preschool, it’s probably their all 1st year together. With Covid & all doubt they had much chance to meet. I wonder about the emails, though and find it strange RP opted to send notes in backpacks rather than a mass email. Are you trolling us op?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t view it as snarky and you could have gotten the napkins and plates via Amazon. People like you always have an excuse.

In 3 minutes?

[Anonymous]

I have been a daycare room parent many times over. I usually do electronic and paper volunteer sign-ups. I send a reminder two days before the party and pick up anything that parents did not sign up for. It would have been nice if the room parent showed some compassion and understanding - but don't let it get you down. She was likely preoccupied and responding quickly. I remember when I got last minute texts from parents that they could not bring Larlo to DC's bday party because of a sudden illness and I was so busy with the actual party prep that I responded with quick "Thanks" and nothing else. It would have been nice to say, hope your DC feels better but I didn't have time to do that.

[Anonymous]

Rude, snarky response. How was she supposed to hear back from you via note?

You shouldn't be assigned to bring something to a preschool holiday party. You should be able to sign up for it yourself. Snarky room parent shouldn't dictate who brings what or assign people what's outstanding. She could request, but a note jotted on a bit of scrap paper, left in a cubby or placed in a backpack is annoying because chances are it will go missing, which is what sounds like happened.

Onward, OP. Sorry this put a downer on your day, but it really doesn't matter. Kids don't care about napkins or paper plates. In a pinch, paper towels work just fine. This is a parent-created problem. No kid enjoyed a cupcake or cookie any less because it wasn't on a plate.

[Anonymous]

The notice was late, but I don't think her reply was snarky.