Snarky room mom ruined my morning

[Anonymous]

It's my oldest daughter's first year in school- 3yo PreK. We also have an infant. All four of us have had COVID over the last two weeks. My (very healthy) 3yo had a very scary case which resulted in a two-day hospital stay. It has been a LOT on top of DH and I working from home with the two kids, but I know many families have been through this. We are finally all better and it's her first day back to school today.

At 7:43am, TWO MINUTES before school starts, I got a text from a random number "I sent a note home asking you to bring themed napkins and plates for today's valentines party. Never heard back so assuming you aren't?"

I responded and said I was so sorry; we have all had a rough time with COVID over the last two weeks and my daughter has not been in school since January 28th so I did not receive the note. The party began at 8am and we walk to school so I let her know I had my baby in the stroller, but could run home, get the car, and grab plates and napkins and drop them off about 15 mins after the party started (which would make me late to daycare drop off and work but I didn't say that).

She responded "It's fine. We will do without".

I feel so disheartened. Why couldn't she have followed up with more than TWO MINUTES notice? I genuinely had not received her note and she clearly had my contact info. I was really looking forward to having our first day of childcare in over two weeks and focusing on work and it just really put a damper on my day ugh.

[Anonymous]

Please do not let harpies like that ruin your day. Karma will get her.

[Anonymous]

Let it roll of your back. You are doing your best and this lady needs to remove the stick out of her backside.

[Anonymous]

I am trying, and failing, to find any snark in here at all. And if this throws you for a loop, OP, you're really going to enjoy teenagers.

[Anonymous]

She was wrong to wait until the last minute to contact you. I wouldn’t give it a second thought. You did nothing wrong.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't read this as snarky, OP. She was trying to pull things together for the party and wanted to know the status of the plates/napkins while she still had time to remedy the situation.

Take the $10 that you would've spent on themed plates and buy a bottle of wine to enjoy while your kid is at daycare today.

[Anonymous]

Room moms should do sign ups anyway - it should be voluntary to bring stuff. Don't feel bad - you haven't done anything.

[Anonymous]

Did you really not receive the note or you were (understandably) pre-occupied and didn't respond?
Doesn't matter, she should not assign but seek volunteers. She was not snarky and you have nothing to feel bad about.

[Anonymous]

OP go easy on yourself. Maybe the mom had a backup plan lined up, but didn't want to go into detail about it with you. She probably texted you so last min because she is *also* scrambling to hold it all together. I would just text back, "Thanks! And thanks for organizing the party" and I would move forward and not look back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am trying, and failing, to find any snark in here at all. And if this throws you for a loop, OP, you're really going to enjoy teenagers.

Agreed.

Who knows what her own stresses were -- we're supposed to (rightly!) cut you slack for dealing with a lot of life issues, and maybe she was, as well. Might explain why she didn't think of it to the last minute.

But she wasn't wrong, or snarky or mean. And you did nothing wrong, either.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I don't read it as snarky, either.

I would think there's no way she sent a note home, so this doesn't apply to me. And just roll with it.

You could reply, I'm sorry Larla has been out for the past two weeks, so I never received a note.

[Anonymous]

This is a her issue, not you. Don’t give it a second thought.

I’ve never had a room mom assign me to bring something in. We’ve always done a signup genius for everything and let people pick what they want to contribute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you really not receive the note or you were (understandably) pre-occupied and didn't respond?
Doesn't matter, she should not assign but seek volunteers. She was not snarky and you have nothing to feel bad about.

I didn't receive it. My child hasn't been in school the last 2 weeks so i am assuming I will have a pile of paperwork, including the notes, at the end of today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't read this as snarky, OP. She was trying to pull things together for the party and wanted to know the status of the plates/napkins while she still had time to remedy the situation.

Exactly this. She's also overwhelmed, not planning in advance, probably at the last minute realized that she wasn't sure if you were bringing, and trying to figure out whether she should grab some basic napkins or whether you would be bringing them. When she read your note she thought of course it would not be worth the fuss for something so minor. But she also didn't have time to compose the perfect reassuring message.

Assume good intentions. In general, folks are doing the best they can and know that you are doing the same.

[Anonymous]

wait, HR mom communicates by paper note via kid's backpack or cubby? How truly bizarre. She'll learn. OP, this is a total nothing burger. Absolutely forget about it.