Snarky room mom ruined my morning

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP seems like the type who expects to be coddled 24/7.

I do not see the snark here. Unless it’s because she didn’t fall all over herself saying “poor you”?

BS. If snark wasn’t intended there was no reason to send the text.

[Anonymous]

I'm into my latest of several room mom years, now in upper elementary. I think the text phrasing was a bit passive aggressive.

I've had many times where people sign up to bring something and forget or just don't do it. In those cases, if there is time to remedy the situation, I send out a reminder. If there's not time and she truly was assuming you didn't bring the stuff, why text at all.

But all of these party things are voluntary, and I recognize that some parents just have other stuff going on/don't give a crap/aren't interested/can't afford it, and that's fine. Which is why you don't just randomly assign people tasks and then hope that silence means they can do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP seems like the type who expects to be coddled 24/7.

I do not see the snark here. Unless it’s because she didn’t fall all over herself saying “poor you”?

BS. If snark wasn’t intended there was no reason to send the text.

She was probably making sure you weren’t running late and trying to figure out if she needed to grab extra napkins herself or they could make do.
Add me to the ones who don’t see the snark - like a PP said, this is a big nothingburger on both sides! No worries!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP seems like the type who expects to be coddled 24/7.

I do not see the snark here. Unless it’s because she didn’t fall all over herself saying “poor you”?

BS. If snark wasn’t intended there was no reason to send the text.

+1. Even the initial text's wording was weird. instead of just, "are you bringing napkins," it was twisted to "Never heard back so assuming you aren't?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Didn’t get it. Sorry you didn’t have a plan B.”

This is actually needlessly rude and snarky

[Anonymous]

As a room mom myself, I have seen the opposite issue, where if you assume another parent has dropped the ball and you do swoop in with extra items in place of them, the parent gets upset with you. It’s hard to please everyone and so many parents want to help out with these class parties! Is it possible she was annoyed with you? Sure, but it’s also possible she was ready with some extras and just wanted to make sure you weren’t providing before she added those to the party supply pile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Room moms should do sign ups anyway - it should be voluntary to bring stuff. Don't feel bad - you haven't done anything.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Another room mom here, cut her some slack. She probably didn't mean to be snarky but yes, she probably meant to passive aggressively know that the ball was dropped.

Who uses notes anyway. If she has the capability to text, she needs to do it. You've been out since the 28th, oh well, no plates and napkins.

Don't let it ruin your day. Next time, she'll confirm everyone got their items and are bringing them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Frankly I am DONE with stupid stuff like this. Themed napkins?! No. I will send in actual school supplies, Valentines to hand out and make sure they have costumes for the Halloween parade, but the rest needs to slide away.

I feel like women used to get tasked with all sorts of stupid stuff like this (notice she didn't text your husband). It needs to stop and they need to stop expecting women to be classroom volunteers too. Not everything needs to be a pinterest moment.

Just say no, it’s fine! Relax.

Oh I do. But the expectation that women still do all of this is there.

[Anonymous]

I’ll never forget holding that beautiful bright red Valentine’s Day cupcake in my three year old hands and thinking “Where in the hell is my themed napkin?”. Haunts me to this day.

[Anonymous]

I actually think "It's fine. We'll do without." is a pretty rude response after someone just told you they didn't get a note because their kid missed 2 weeks of school due to COVID. The correct response is "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear she's been sick. I didn't know. Hope everyone is well now!"

Personally, OP, I would have added that my DC had been hospitalized and NOT offered to run and get the stuff. Because, perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I actually think "It's fine. We'll do without." is a pretty rude response after someone just told you they didn't get a note because their kid missed 2 weeks of school due to COVID. The correct response is "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear she's been sick. I didn't know. Hope everyone is well now!"

Personally, OP, I would have added that my DC had been hospitalized and NOT offered to run and get the stuff. Because, perspective.

That was the response to OP pretending to martyr herself for valentines party, and suggest that she walk home with a baby in a stroller, grab her car, go to a store, buy the napkins and plates, and bring them 15 min late. To which the mom responded: “it’s fine. We’ll do without” which is a logical response. A rude response, would have been: “omg, yes, thank you. That would be wonderful” that sounds delightful but it would have been really rude.

[Anonymous]

I think the reason you are upset, OP is that Room Parent didn’t show any sort of empathy for what was probably a grueling few weeks for you. Are you in DC? Seems like a lot of people here forgo those basic niceties just to get to the point. I find it jarring too, but I recommend you just move on with your day. You were just a festive napkin to her, anyway. Hoping things improve for you soon! Hang in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Frankly I am DONE with stupid stuff like this. Themed napkins?! No. I will send in actual school supplies, Valentines to hand out and make sure they have costumes for the Halloween parade, but the rest needs to slide away.

I feel like women used to get tasked with all sorts of stupid stuff like this (notice she didn't text your husband). It needs to stop and they need to stop expecting women to be classroom volunteers too. Not everything needs to be a pinterest moment.

Just say no, it’s fine! Relax.

Oh I do. But the expectation that women still do all of this is there.

I’ve been a room mom for my three kids over the past 12 years, and I’ve absolutely seen an increase in the number of dads being actively involved and helpful in stuff like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ll never forget holding that beautiful bright red Valentine’s Day cupcake in my three year old hands and thinking “Where in the hell is my themed napkin?”. Haunts me to this day.

Someone brought in that festive cupcake.