Explain wealthy men and mail order brides

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The ultimate in misogynistic men. He can always threaten to not sponsor her citizenship if she declines anything.

That’s not how immigration works. Once he brings her over on a fiancée visa they have 6 months to get married.

After the wedding she can apply for citizenship after 3 years He doesn’t need to sign anything. He doesn’t sponsor her or any weird crap. All she has to do is produce the marriage certificate. Oh, and she gets a green card when she gets married. The green card (officially called permanent resident) allows her to stay indefinitely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He likes her personality.

Per personality and her body. If woman took care of themselves as much as they cry over the lack of good men...they would have a good man. Don't be angry because women overseas in poor countries see how amazing most women have it over here, yet are too spoiled to realize it. Be a good wife and mother. Be a good SAHM. Keep yourself health. You're set for LIFE. That's a deal 99% of women will take.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was I a mail order bride ? I don’t know. I am Russian, met my exH online at 24, when he was 35 and already divorced once. He’s also Russian and said he just looked for someone of same culture. I was a lawyer in Moscow, and all my boyfriends were wealthy (oil, gas, legal, banking, security services “covering” businesses). I am 5.9 and was very good looking in my 20s. I would say, my American online date was not the wealthiest date, but I fell for him because he was very driven. We got married within a year, I found legal job in DC right away and worked through our marriage. We had one child. He cheated on me with Serbian woman his age and we recently divorced. He was very controlling, old fashioned husband and not a very engaged dad. Liked sex a lot but got bored after 7 years or (needed toys).
I just think he’s a womanizer and American women wouldn’t have tolerated this. I feel like my life was bulldozed all over and really want to move back to Moscow when my son finishes college.

Married with in a year? That is what stands out to me. Was your motivation this person...getting out of moscow.......financial stability? What led you to marry a foreigner thousands of miles away so so quickly?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He likes her personality.

Per personality and her body. If woman took care of themselves as much as they cry over the lack of good men...they would have a good man. Don't be angry because women overseas in poor countries see how amazing most women have it over here, yet are too spoiled to realize it. Be a good wife and mother. Be a good SAHM. Keep yourself health. You're set for LIFE. That's a deal 99% of women will take.

DT is not a good man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They want a housekeeper that they can have sex with on demand.

Really? You’re telling me a wealthy doctor needs to marry a poor foreign woman to afford house cleaning??? Doesn’t sound like someone even remotely well off…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The ultimate in misogynistic men. He can always threaten to not sponsor her citizenship if she declines anything.

Oh, and she gets a green card when she gets married. The green card (officially called permanent resident) allows her to stay indefinitely.

I have many employees who do not have American Citizenship and have a Green Card or Work Visa. I deal with this area regularly. Green Cards expire. Only the prior ones from decades ago do not. Any currently issued Green Cards expire. If I recall it's ten years. But, there are varying types of Green Cards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He likes her personality.

Per personality and her body. If woman took care of themselves as much as they cry over the lack of good men...they would have a good man. Don't be angry because women overseas in poor countries see how amazing most women have it over here, yet are too spoiled to realize it. Be a good wife and mother. Be a good SAHM. Keep yourself health. You're set for LIFE. That's a deal 99% of women will take.

DT is not a good man.

And she actually chose him to be the father of her kid? He traded in wife number one for a new younger model, then trades in wife number two for a new and younger model, and then you want to be wife and mother number three? Blec.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is strange. I don't think I am going to be thrilled if DS decides a mail order bride is a good choice of spouse. How would she make a good partner for him unless she is highly educated and if she has a great education...why is she a mail order bride?

Any parents out there that would desire this arrangement for their DS?

In some ways it is a lot more practical and realistic way to enter a marriage. It’s more like a business agreement- think the royal family. You think Princess Diana thought Charles was hot…? Would you be happy with your DS’s wife marrying your son because she is “settling for him”, because he checks a few boxes on her list or he has money? I do not know. I do know there are women who I know who I would never marry.

If your DS is not tall, not working for big law or an investment bank, graduated from an Ivy, pulling in serious money, etc his wife is “settling” for him and will always be wondering why she settled. Let’s be honest here. Is your son(not just you but everyones son) really a “good catch”?

Diana? You have to be kidding me that she is an example of this dynamic working.

Lol it’s the same!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a significant number of men who just want a somewhat attractive but very submissive wife, one who is not particularly intelligent or confident or opinionated.

Some guys can find that in the usual ways, but if a guy doesn't have a lot of time but does have a lot of money, why not just buy one?

No; they want a wife intelligent enough to consistently give the appearance of submitting and who is also smart enough to make the effort to maintain her physical appearance. I have known plenty of Eastern European women who are devastatingly smart and confident and opinionated. They simply are taught that the way to maintain a marriage to a financially successful man is not by arguing with him openly on a regular basis. They get him addicted to their approval and praise -- expertly faked, however insincere -- and the ego rush of having a fit, well-groomed, and traditionally feminine woman at his side in public. Then they manipulate him ruthlessly to get exactly what they want in the long or short term. Everybody happy.

Fits Melania to a T, non?

Right down to the separate bedrooms and not even having to hold hands!

Do you read this board? Many women would consider separate bedrooms and not holding hands a huge positive. Also they are most likely not having sex…so another huge positive. Sign me up!

Somehow I am guessing that hubby did not quite picture it that way when he orders up his russian hottie.

Yes he thought he was doing better vs his married buddies but in reality he got the same deal

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was I a mail order bride ? I don’t know. I am Russian, met my exH online at 24, when he was 35 and already divorced once. He’s also Russian and said he just looked for someone of same culture. I was a lawyer in Moscow, and all my boyfriends were wealthy (oil, gas, legal, banking, security services “covering” businesses). I am 5.9 and was very good looking in my 20s. I would say, my American online date was not the wealthiest date, but I fell for him because he was very driven. We got married within a year, I found legal job in DC right away and worked through our marriage. We had one child. He cheated on me with Serbian woman his age and we recently divorced. He was very controlling, old fashioned husband and not a very engaged dad. Liked sex a lot but got bored after 7 years or (needed toys).
I just think he’s a womanizer and American women wouldn’t have tolerated this. I feel like my life was bulldozed all over and really want to move back to Moscow when my son finishes college.

Married with in a year? That is what stands out to me. Was your motivation this person...getting out of moscow.......financial stability? What led you to marry a foreigner thousands of miles away so so quickly?

I mean, within a year since we began a serious relationship. We initially “dated” only online, he visited me several times. Then I went to study to Germany on a scholarship, and he transferred jobs from DC to my college town in Germany. We lived/co-habilitated for a year and then he proposed. We got married and moved back to DC. In total 1.5 years since we met online before officially being married. My motivation - I was in love, he was fun, we traveled a lot across Europe together and these were the best years in my life overall as I also got pregnant with our son in Germany. I never saw his house in DC, or cared where he worked- I would have moved with him to any country

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They want a housekeeper that they can have sex with on demand.

Really? You’re telling me a wealthy doctor needs to marry a poor foreign woman to afford house cleaning??? Doesn’t sound like someone even remotely well off…

Omg no.
Many women in eastern europe are raised with the clear understanding that the man is superior. And everything they do is catering to him and with a haply attitude. Not like a paid housekeeper. But making all his favorite foods, cleaning daily, ironing clothes, hot breakfast on table, greeting with a smile and hair done and dinner ready when he is home. Never asking for any household help. Seriously. Im russian but not raised like that. My cousins were shocked that my husband washed dishes and changes diapers. It didn't occur to them to even see if their husbands would do any of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is strange. I don't think I am going to be thrilled if DS decides a mail order bride is a good choice of spouse. How would she make a good partner for him unless she is highly educated and if she has a great education...why is she a mail order bride?

Any parents out there that would desire this arrangement for their DS?

Because of misogyny, opportunities for highly educated women in many countries are much slimmer. I don't know how it us now, I left Belarus many years ago, but many of my former classmates with degrees in law, medicine or engineering were actively looking to marry someone from the West, and they did. BTW, most of them have reestablished themselves professionally in their new countries, so I am sure the husbands are not sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They want a housekeeper that they can have sex with on demand.

Really? You’re telling me a wealthy doctor needs to marry a poor foreign woman to afford house cleaning??? Doesn’t sound like someone even remotely well off…

Omg no.
Many women in eastern europe are raised with the clear understanding that the man is superior. And everything they do is catering to him and with a haply attitude. Not like a paid housekeeper. But making all his favorite foods, cleaning daily, ironing clothes, hot breakfast on table, greeting with a smile and hair done and dinner ready when he is home. Never asking for any household help. Seriously. Im russian but not raised like that. My cousins were shocked that my husband washed dishes and changes diapers. It didn't occur to them to even see if their husbands would do any of that.

And what's wrong with this? If the man is able to provide a strong home, family, money, future financial stability, comfortable retirement...that's the deal right? That is what SHE GETS for doing HER JOB because HE IS DOING HIS JOB. What is wrong with that?

The issue you have is women in other countries have different priorities than you. Since they are different it's wrong. In their eyes you are wrong. In reality neither are wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They want a housekeeper that they can have sex with on demand.

Really? You’re telling me a wealthy doctor needs to marry a poor foreign woman to afford house cleaning??? Doesn’t sound like someone even remotely well off…

Omg no.
Many women in eastern europe are raised with the clear understanding that the man is superior. And everything they do is catering to him and with a haply attitude. Not like a paid housekeeper. But making all his favorite foods, cleaning daily, ironing clothes, hot breakfast on table, greeting with a smile and hair done and dinner ready when he is home. Never asking for any household help. Seriously. Im russian but not raised like that. My cousins were shocked that my husband washed dishes and changes diapers. It didn't occur to them to even see if their husbands would do any of that.

Why raise daughters to have that status? That makes no sense to me as a mom of daughters. Mine will have their own money and power if I raise them to do nothing else. The partners they choose will be partners, not employers of my daughters as domestic servants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He likes her personality.

Per personality and her body. If woman took care of themselves as much as they cry over the lack of good men...they would have a good man. Don't be angry because women overseas in poor countries see how amazing most women have it over here, yet are too spoiled to realize it. Be a good wife and mother. Be a good SAHM. Keep yourself health. You're set for LIFE. That's a deal 99% of women will take.

But you aren't. There are tons of people who still have their husband cheat on them and leave them for their next fling etc. So many good looking SAHM's who were just left by their ex's and now live in apartments.