How to endure this cousin situation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop trying to force the cousin to play with your son. That’s too big of an age gap and the nephew isn’t interested. Entertain your own kid.

This. The story reminds me of SIL, who expected my kids to babysit her much younger daughter so SIL could sit around drinking wine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are weirdly and inappropriately demonizing a ten-year-old child.

Not demonizing just identifying that the relationship is hurtful to DS. Another example- they have a three row vehicle and DS is obsessed with the idea of riding in the back row. It’s all he talks about. I always tell him know bc it’s hard for me to get back there and the buckle for one seat belt sits really low and is hard to do. Nephew knows DS wants to sit back there so nephew goes back there and sits in the “easy” to buckle seat. We can’t get the tricky one to click so I tell DS he has to come back to the middle row. DS is so sad about it that he starts crying, meanwhile nephew sits in the third row contentedly while SIL says nothing.

Why do you have to buckle your six year old? Nephew can sit wherever he wants in his own car.

Yeah, OP is totally wrong here. Poor nephew.

When 13 year old went off on 2 year old cousin calling the 2 year old horrible for “always throwing how happy the 2 year old is” in 13 year old face, I thought that was ridiculous. This view of a 10 year old by aunt/uncle is worse. At least the 13 year old was a kid.

[Anonymous]

My son is 9, too. When we get together with his 6 year old cousin, he likes being around him, but sometimes I have to remind ds that his cousin is way younger than him and still learning everything. He has behaved the same way you describe the older cousin, except I don't think he's done anything out of spite. Sometimes he grumbles and says no just because he's tired of playing with his little cousin or he's bored. That age gap can certainly play well together, but a lot of it will require the 9 year old catering to the younger one. And 9 year olds really aren't as mature as you might think. It's not the same as say, a teenager babysitting a 6 year old. It's a 9 year old who is also going to be self centered and not always handle himself perfectly when he's irritated or bored.

That said, the cousin's parents should be the one to talk to him about being a good host and a good older cousin. In addition to reminding my son that 6 year olds are still, well, only 6, I play up his role as the cool older big kidto remind him that he's a role model and to make him feel proud to hang out with his little cousin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's very common for parents of only children to overestimate the maturity of any child older than their own.

A 10 year old is still a child, OP, and a child can sit in whatever seat his parents allow him to sit in IN HIS OWN D*MN CAR.

Similarly, a 10 year old can draw whatever he wants in his own house.

You are being ridiculous.

+1.

[Anonymous]

Your title asks how to "endure" this situation. If it's such an ordeal, the simplest solution is you go home. How long are you staying with them? They're probably tired of some of your antics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you are basically forcing your nephew to babysit your son while you visit with his parents, and your nephew resents it.

+1000.

They are not peers. Entertain your son.

[Anonymous]

Oh no! Nephew is not the perfect unpaid entertainer of cousin!!

[Anonymous]

Truthfully, in this situation I’d be the fun mom who sits down with my kid and does stuff with him, inviting the older cousin to partake if he wants. By sitting there you can monitor or correct as needed. I’d also be doing outdoor time…visiting parks and zoo, etc.

[Anonymous]

OP, your nephew shouldn't be expected to entertain your kid for more than an hour at a time. This is his break too, and he deserves to be able to spend his school break however he wants. He probably has new Christmas stuff he wants to play with with w/o your kid. He's very obviously an introvert who needs down time too.

It's nice when the kids play together endlessly, and who knows maybe that will happen in the future, but right now, they don't have enough in common for that to happen. It's entirely possible they never will--if your kid ends up sporty and the other kid is more into video games or whatever, they might never entertain each other.

At this point, it's on you to make sure your kid is entertained--and it might involve some "Mom and Dad are here to visit with Aunt Polly and Uncle Joe, so you need to find something to do--remember the X, Y, and Z you packed? Go play with/read those." Your kid absolutely does not need to be entertained by others--he needs to learn to do that on his own. Being bored is OK (for both the boys.)