How to endure this cousin situation

[Anonymous]

Admit it, OP: you don’t like your nephew.

[Anonymous]

If the third row is hard to buckle, WTF are you doing letting him get in it? That is just stupid. “Your seat doesn’t fit easily back there, second row only for you.” Done.

You said earlier that you set the kids up to draw. 9 is really too old to be setting up most activities like that. Next thing you will be expecting him to play on a sand table or with blocks.

But even so, your 6 yo should be free drawing, not following drawing tutorials. According to child development experts, anyway.

You don’t like your nephew. You think your kid shouldn’t ever cry. I get it, you have one kid…but that is how they learn socialization and how not to get everything they want.

Go home.

I too liked playing with my cousins…that were similar in age. The ones with a 3-4 yr age split I don’t really even know. It is too much. I say this with kids spaced 3.5 apart. I spent a LOT of time managing the little one’s expectations. Now that he is 9, they play together some because I’ll let them do screens together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Regarding the car I don’t think the 10 yo has sat in the third row- literally ever. He only wanted to do so bc DS was coveting it, knowing only one person can sit back there bc of the wonky seat belt. Regarding Thor I “set up DS” by finding an easy “how to” on google and doing a screenshot for DS to follow. I didn’t tell nephew to draw Thor. Nephew has his own drawing priorities. I also don’t care that nephew drew Thor, I care that he loves lording over DS how much better he is at everything, including the cat’s love. I also am fine if nephew doesn’t want to play, I just wish he wouldn’t lord that over DS.

Why didn’t you use your words and suggest that they alternate sitting in the middle seat?

You are the adult. Act like it.

There are usually two seats in the back row. OP should have climbed back and buckled the child in.

One of the buckles sits low, so with the booster seat it’s very hard to buckle. They also have a lot of stuff back there so it’s just hard to reach that particular seat.

So, the kid needs help and you refuse to help him. You can move the stuff or tell the child no. Or, drive your own car. This is not the 10 year olds fault.

[Anonymous]

OP, you’ve achieved the DCUM consensus, you’re wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Regarding the car I don’t think the 10 yo has sat in the third row- literally ever. He only wanted to do so bc DS was coveting it, knowing only one person can sit back there bc of the wonky seat belt. Regarding Thor I “set up DS” by finding an easy “how to” on google and doing a screenshot for DS to follow. I didn’t tell nephew to draw Thor. Nephew has his own drawing priorities. I also don’t care that nephew drew Thor, I care that he loves lording over DS how much better he is at everything, including the cat’s love. I also am fine if nephew doesn’t want to play, I just wish he wouldn’t lord that over DS.

Why didn’t you use your words and suggest that they alternate sitting in the middle seat?

You are the adult. Act like it.

There are usually two seats in the back row. OP should have climbed back and buckled the child in.

One of the buckles sits low, so with the booster seat it’s very hard to buckle. They also have a lot of stuff back there so it’s just hard to reach that particular seat.

Then you tell your kid no. I am guessing that is not something you ever do, though.

As an only child he's probably used to getting what he wants when he wants. It's a good experience to be around other kids and have to navigate all these challenges and rivalries, because that's how life is.

I did tell him no, so nephew sat in back, where he’s never cared about sitting, contentedly, while DS cried bc he was the one who has been asking to sit there the whole trip. I tell him no since they both can’t sit there.

Anyway I’m bored with the discussion since it’s just going to be anti-me. It’s just different than my experience- we visited our cousins overseas and stayed with them for 4 weeks at a time and had so much fun. I have no memory of them being so ultra-competitive so it is uncomfortable for me to see this unfold. My older cousins were sweet and protective and we were taught to be the same to the younger kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Regarding the car I don’t think the 10 yo has sat in the third row- literally ever. He only wanted to do so bc DS was coveting it, knowing only one person can sit back there bc of the wonky seat belt. Regarding Thor I “set up DS” by finding an easy “how to” on google and doing a screenshot for DS to follow. I didn’t tell nephew to draw Thor. Nephew has his own drawing priorities. I also don’t care that nephew drew Thor, I care that he loves lording over DS how much better he is at everything, including the cat’s love. I also am fine if nephew doesn’t want to play, I just wish he wouldn’t lord that over DS.

Why didn’t you use your words and suggest that they alternate sitting in the middle seat?

You are the adult. Act like it.

There are usually two seats in the back row. OP should have climbed back and buckled the child in.

One of the buckles sits low, so with the booster seat it’s very hard to buckle. They also have a lot of stuff back there so it’s just hard to reach that particular seat.

Then you tell your kid no. I am guessing that is not something you ever do, though.

As an only child he's probably used to getting what he wants when he wants. It's a good experience to be around other kids and have to navigate all these challenges and rivalries, because that's how life is.

I did tell him no, so nephew sat in back, where he’s never cared about sitting, contentedly, while DS cried bc he was the one who has been asking to sit there the whole trip. I tell him no since they both can’t sit there.

Anyway I’m bored with the discussion since it’s just going to be anti-me. It’s just different than my experience- we visited our cousins overseas and stayed with them for 4 weeks at a time and had so much fun. I have no memory of them being so ultra-competitive so it is uncomfortable for me to see this unfold. My older cousins were sweet and protective and we were taught to be the same to the younger kids.

If it’s not your car, how the heck do you know where nephew sits EVERY DAY? It’s not ultra competitive OP, why would an almost 10 year old have to act like an almost 6 year old. Get a grip

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Regarding the car I don’t think the 10 yo has sat in the third row- literally ever. He only wanted to do so bc DS was coveting it, knowing only one person can sit back there bc of the wonky seat belt. Regarding Thor I “set up DS” by finding an easy “how to” on google and doing a screenshot for DS to follow. I didn’t tell nephew to draw Thor. Nephew has his own drawing priorities. I also don’t care that nephew drew Thor, I care that he loves lording over DS how much better he is at everything, including the cat’s love. I also am fine if nephew doesn’t want to play, I just wish he wouldn’t lord that over DS.

Why didn’t you use your words and suggest that they alternate sitting in the middle seat?

You are the adult. Act like it.

There are usually two seats in the back row. OP should have climbed back and buckled the child in.

One of the buckles sits low, so with the booster seat it’s very hard to buckle. They also have a lot of stuff back there so it’s just hard to reach that particular seat.

Then you tell your kid no. I am guessing that is not something you ever do, though.

As an only child he's probably used to getting what he wants when he wants. It's a good experience to be around other kids and have to navigate all these challenges and rivalries, because that's how life is.

I did tell him no, so nephew sat in back, where he’s never cared about sitting, contentedly, while DS cried bc he was the one who has been asking to sit there the whole trip. I tell him no since they both can’t sit there.

Anyway I’m bored with the discussion since it’s just going to be anti-me. It’s just different than my experience- we visited our cousins overseas and stayed with them for 4 weeks at a time and had so much fun. I have no memory of them being so ultra-competitive so it is uncomfortable for me to see this unfold. My older cousins were sweet and protective and we were taught to be the same to the younger kids.

You probably have rose tinted glasses about the past. It would be nice of the cousin to offer or his parents to suggest he give it up, but since that's not happening you and your son need to just move on and not make a big deal out of it. Maybe sharing isn't their thing but it's not your job to try to teach manners when you are a guest in their home.

[Anonymous]

Anyway I’m bored with the discussion since it’s just going to be anti-me. It’s just different than my experience- we visited our cousins overseas and stayed with them for 4 weeks at a time and had so much fun. I have no memory of them being so ultra-competitive so it is uncomfortable for me to see this unfold. My older cousins were sweet and protective and we were taught to be the same to the younger kids.

It is extremely uncommon for DCUM to have this much of a united YTA response, so I'd take some time and reflect on that in your position. At every point that you've come back, you've made yourself (and your child) sound worse. You may not be able to hear that right now, but hopefully it plants a seed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Regarding the car I don’t think the 10 yo has sat in the third row- literally ever. He only wanted to do so bc DS was coveting it, knowing only one person can sit back there bc of the wonky seat belt. Regarding Thor I “set up DS” by finding an easy “how to” on google and doing a screenshot for DS to follow. I didn’t tell nephew to draw Thor. Nephew has his own drawing priorities. I also don’t care that nephew drew Thor, I care that he loves lording over DS how much better he is at everything, including the cat’s love. I also am fine if nephew doesn’t want to play, I just wish he wouldn’t lord that over DS.

Why didn’t you use your words and suggest that they alternate sitting in the middle seat?

You are the adult. Act like it.

There are usually two seats in the back row. OP should have climbed back and buckled the child in.

One of the buckles sits low, so with the booster seat it’s very hard to buckle. They also have a lot of stuff back there so it’s just hard to reach that particular seat.

Then you tell your kid no. I am guessing that is not something you ever do, though.

As an only child he's probably used to getting what he wants when he wants. It's a good experience to be around other kids and have to navigate all these challenges and rivalries, because that's how life is.

I did tell him no, so nephew sat in back, where he’s never cared about sitting, contentedly, while DS cried bc he was the one who has been asking to sit there the whole trip. I tell him no since they both can’t sit there.

Anyway I’m bored with the discussion since it’s just going to be anti-me. It’s just different than my experience- we visited our cousins overseas and stayed with them for 4 weeks at a time and had so much fun. I have no memory of them being so ultra-competitive so it is uncomfortable for me to see this unfold. My older cousins were sweet and protective and we were taught to be the same to the younger kids.

Translation: I’m bored with the discussion because people are telling me the truth and I don’t like it.

[Anonymous]

This seems pretty normal OP. I remember finding my 6 year younger cousin so annoying growing up and would hide when expected to 'play' with them (mainly because I wasn't interested in 5 year old games when I was 11, for instance). As we got older, we started to get along better, we're not super close but always have fun seeing one another at family gatherings. It will work out OP. Explain to your son it's nothing personal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Regarding the car I don’t think the 10 yo has sat in the third row- literally ever. He only wanted to do so bc DS was coveting it, knowing only one person can sit back there bc of the wonky seat belt. Regarding Thor I “set up DS” by finding an easy “how to” on google and doing a screenshot for DS to follow. I didn’t tell nephew to draw Thor. Nephew has his own drawing priorities. I also don’t care that nephew drew Thor, I care that he loves lording over DS how much better he is at everything, including the cat’s love. I also am fine if nephew doesn’t want to play, I just wish he wouldn’t lord that over DS.

Why didn’t you use your words and suggest that they alternate sitting in the middle seat?

You are the adult. Act like it.

There are usually two seats in the back row. OP should have climbed back and buckled the child in.

One of the buckles sits low, so with the booster seat it’s very hard to buckle. They also have a lot of stuff back there so it’s just hard to reach that particular seat.

Then you tell your kid no. I am guessing that is not something you ever do, though.

As an only child he's probably used to getting what he wants when he wants. It's a good experience to be around other kids and have to navigate all these challenges and rivalries, because that's how life is.

I did tell him no, so nephew sat in back, where he’s never cared about sitting, contentedly, while DS cried bc he was the one who has been asking to sit there the whole trip. I tell him no since they both can’t sit there.

Anyway I’m bored with the discussion since it’s just going to be anti-me. It’s just different than my experience- we visited our cousins overseas and stayed with them for 4 weeks at a time and had so much fun. I have no memory of them being so ultra-competitive so it is uncomfortable for me to see this unfold. My older cousins were sweet and protective and we were taught to be the same to the younger kids.

It is anti-you for good reason. I hope you stay far away from your poor nephew.

[Anonymous]

OP, I understand. I grew up with a slew of cousins and while
we each cottoned most to those around our age, we didn’t act as your nephew. He’s a little asshole. Play with DS until you’re all apart, and maybe suggest to ILs that the boys trade the third seat. Help him get buckled in. Design solo activities that he likes. This’ll pass, but yes, it’s telling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's very common for parents of only children to overestimate the maturity of any child older than their own.

A 10 year old is still a child, OP, and a child can sit in whatever seat his parents allow him to sit in IN HIS OWN D*MN CAR.

Similarly, a 10 year old can draw whatever he wants in his own house.

You are being ridiculous.

Lol at the people that keep coming in to scream about this. It's not HIS CAR, anymore than it is OP's car. He is 10. Most likely, he does not own a car.

[Anonymous]

It IS possible that the 10 year old was being mean.

What exactly did he say to your kid about his drawing being better? Was he smug, cruel, belittling? We need more details before we can pass judgment.

(Who am I kidding, DCUM has already passed judgment and then some.)

[Anonymous]

The only one enduring anything is the 10 year old nephew!