How to raise disciplined and high achieving children?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:It is part mostly internal motivation. But there are some things that may be helpful, or not, I don't know. But I am very average. I do have a great work ethic and am highly motivated, but I grew up with parents that were hyper-involved in their own needs and their divorces (and re-marriages). I do believe, with my DH, we have helped our kids do well so far. We have 3 kids and they are all high achievers and advanced in academics and the sports they do.


-Model the behaviors you want to see in them. Read often, both to them and to yourself so they see you reading frequently.

-Always always make school/learning the priority. Even when they don't have homework and on weekends, give them small assignments to keep their mind engaged and learning.

-Discuss things at meals. When I'm just not feeling up to talking, I turn on NPR's daily news hour and we listen (it is only a couple of minutes) then talk about what we heard

-Make them make their beds daily and clean their rooms weekly. Insist on it.

-Take them to museums, do music lessons, enroll in one sport each for them to focus on

-Stay away from dance, cheer, football, gymnastics.

-Steer them toward friendship with peers that are hard working and high achieving.

Some these are obvious but can you elaborate on them a bit? I mostly agree but can't fully articulate it myself so wondering you could.

There are very few activities that lead to discipline and high achievement like gymnastics, so whoever thinks it's smart to steer kids away is clearly not very bright.

LOL gymnastics. What do you do after that, teach PE?

What an absurd argument. What do kids do with any of the childhood activities they pursue? Or are you one of those parents who is absolutely convinced little Larla is destined to be first chair at the New York Philharmonic? Childhood activities instill discipline and tenacity in children, the point is not to serve as training for their careers.

Agree! And it is horrible to just stereotype “ -Stay away from dance, cheer, football, gymnastics. “

Whoever posted that: you do realize you just made generalizations about those legitimate sports, right??

Yes, yes I do. There are outliers, of course. But your child is likely not to be one so best just avoid the whole sh*t show that comes with those sports. The stereotypes exist because they are largely true

+1

They’re missing your point.

[Anonymous]

Nature.
Nurture.
Culture and values of the parents.
Functional marriage and functional family.
Support system for the child.
Opportunities.
Luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
The definition of high achieving is being the best in something! If a kid didn’t make the JV team by 15 then for the purpose of resume building for competitive colleges it is probably best to cut back on the sport and redirect that time to something that they can get a significant achievement in. That’s common sense surely. That doesn’t mean they can’t play the odd pick up game at the park with friends at the weekend to have fun.

Is the purpose to raise a child who is high-achieving as a child, or is high-achieving as an adult? Because working hard to be the best that you can be as a child (not being THE BEST IN THE WORLD) is what leads to being a high-achieving adult.

But sure, raise a child who is high-achieving as a child, that will work out well.

[Anonymous]

Make them study Proverba