How to raise disciplined and high achieving children?

[Anonymous]

I am not very disciplined and high achieving and have envied these perfect adults who have well organized and successful lives. I’d like to pass on some good habits to my children. Tips? Strategies?

[Anonymous]

It's innate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's innate.

I agree. - mom of 3

[Anonymous]

+3. And genetic. But positive role modeling can have a positive effect.

[Anonymous]

Marry a very disciplined high achieving adult for the best chance at passing on those genes to your kids.

Otherwise, predictability in schedule, getting your child involved in the running of the household, paying attention to what's going on in school by direct means (ie don't just look at grades/teacher comments), don't get a divorce, minimize the kids' exposure to digital crack, go to your church/mosque weekly, join some kind of scouting organization, read classics at bedtime, have a decent library at home, spend time with the kids. And, most importantly, stop envying people.

[Anonymous]

Don’t spoil them. Be humble. Focus on education. Give them chores. Live beneath your means. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

They are born with it.

[Anonymous]

You don’t want that.

About 90% of the disciplined and high achieving adults who I know are stressed and never satisfied (i.e., miserable).

Also, I’m going to have to go with it’s a combination of an innately anxious personality (nature) and a demanding parent who is also disciplined and high achieving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:+3. And genetic. But positive role modeling can have a positive effect.

I don't think I agree. I have a friend who is the daughter of a highly accomplished lawyer and is accomplished herself. Her older brothers though have basically not done much and live off their Dad's money.

So good genetics from Dad, right? Well no, my friend is the one who's adopted, her brothers were not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don’t want that.

About 90% of the disciplined and high achieving adults who I know are stressed and never satisfied (i.e., miserable).

Also, I’m going to have to go with it’s a combination of an innately anxious personality (nature) and a demanding parent who is also disciplined and high achieving.

This

[Anonymous]

I strived for independent adults. Teach them to work hard and place a high priority on their education. Teach them to be kind reliable humans. The rest will work itself out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t want that.

About 90% of the disciplined and high achieving adults who I know are stressed and never satisfied (i.e., miserable).

Also, I’m going to have to go with it’s a combination of an innately anxious personality (nature) and a demanding parent who is also disciplined and high achieving.

This

I don’t agree. I was the driven, perfectionistic straight A student and I did not struggle with anxiety and my parents were typical 80s/hands off. It certainly can be a personality type associated with anxiety and intense parenting, but not always. I do agree that for the most part, inner drive and persistence is innate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's innate.

Agree - from a disciplined and high achieving kid. I’ll tell you I was never paid for grades. I think it has to be intrinsic motivation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:+3. And genetic. But positive role modeling can have a positive effect.

I don't think I agree. I have a friend who is the daughter of a highly accomplished lawyer and is accomplished herself. Her older brothers though have basically not done much and live off their Dad's money.

So good genetics from Dad, right? Well no, my friend is the one who's adopted, her brothers were not.

What is nature and what is nurture can be studied for years.

[Anonymous]

I have two adopted children. One is high achieving and driven, and one is not.