Wedding bells for Princess Mako of Japan and Kei Komuro

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://www.lowenstein.com/people/attorneys/kei-komuro

Good firm. He sounds like he has a bright future.

It's so funny that there is this frenzy over him being unsuitable and he is..... a corporate lawyer. How much more staid can you get?

According to the NYT article, the objections included the fact that he had "shaggy" hair (gasp!), then a ponytail (gasp!), ate from food trucks (like every other midtown office worker!) (gasp!) and wore a pin-striped suit rather than a plain black or navy suit to the press conference.

Kudos to both of them for getting through this ridiculous circus with calm and grace. I probably would have overturned the table, given the press the finger and stormed out of there. Bye!

I've been to a lot of foreign countries but the way the Japanese are acting with this is very surprising to me. I mean the Imperial family lives in the heart of Tokyo. You want to see non-confirmist hair (gasp!) that's the city to go to.

They think they own her.

she is not a symbol. She is an autonomous adult, who can love (and have sex/children with) the adult of her choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s cute, I wish them the best. Also, we need to stop caring about “royal” families. It such an anachronism.

I get your point, but the whole reason the postwar imperial system exists is because of General McArthur, the US and the 1947 Constitution drafted by US civilians during the Allied Occupation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s cute, I wish them the best. Also, we need to stop caring about “royal” families. It such an anachronism.

I get your point, but the whole reason the postwar imperial system exists is because of General McArthur, the US and the 1947 Constitution drafted by US civilians during the Allied Occupation.

That’s true but McArthur and the Allies actually did them a solid. They had already been bombed twice, were losing the war in every conceivable way and yet still - the Japanese were not prepared to surrender if their Emperor was humiliated.

And I mean that literally. The Allies gave them a facesaving surrender by allowing the Emperor to remain as head of state and in power. They didn’t even order any of the imperial men killed for ordering the attack on PH or require the Emperor to sign the treaty of surrender in person. They sent a diplomat.

So yeah - without McArthur the Chrysanthemum throne would have been eliminated 80+ years ago.

And before you say - we shouldn’t have attacked them yada yada - remember the Japanese went to war with us first and at the behest of Imperial council who have never lost a war in the history of their empire.

[Anonymous]

Look on the bright side. Thanks to a couple of trailblazers this young couple need never lack for money. They’ll always have Oprah’s couch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don't understand how this family can look at 3 generations of women who have had massive emotional breakdowns, and yet maintain this level of rigidity. Her parents DIDN'T HUG THEIR DAUGHTER GOODBYE. That's cold.
I hope she makes lots of artsy friends in New York, and she and her hot husband have a great life.

My father is Japanese. He does not hug. In public, he always acts very appropriately. Please make an effort to understand different cultures, PP. The Japanese are not demonstrative people. I am sure the Imperial family loves all their children, just like I know my father loves me. But no one in Japan expected this loving family to act any differently than they have. It's just how it is.

Did your father refuse to help get a good start in your life?

Did your father decide not to finance a wedding and send you straight to the judicial docket?

Did you father watch as you drove off TO YOUR WEDDING and just wave and go back inside the house?

Did your father act so embarrassed of you that he wouldn't let you do traditional wedding rites inside the temple (Mako was forced to worship outside in the courtyard)?

Please. The way the future Emperor has treated his oldest daughter is disgraceful. Traditions or not.

You clearly don’t understand Japanese culture and are projecting through your own lens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don't understand how this family can look at 3 generations of women who have had massive emotional breakdowns, and yet maintain this level of rigidity. Her parents DIDN'T HUG THEIR DAUGHTER GOODBYE. That's cold.
I hope she makes lots of artsy friends in New York, and she and her hot husband have a great life.

My father is Japanese. He does not hug. In public, he always acts very appropriately. Please make an effort to understand different cultures, PP. The Japanese are not demonstrative people. I am sure the Imperial family loves all their children, just like I know my father loves me. But no one in Japan expected this loving family to act any differently than they have. It's just how it is.

Did your father refuse to help get a good start in your life?

Did your father decide not to finance a wedding and send you straight to the judicial docket?

Did you father watch as you drove off TO YOUR WEDDING and just wave and go back inside the house?

Did your father act so embarrassed of you that he wouldn't let you do traditional wedding rites inside the temple (Mako was forced to worship outside in the courtyard)?

Please. The way the future Emperor has treated his oldest daughter is disgraceful. Traditions or not.

You clearly don’t understand Japanese culture and are projecting through your own lens.

So the Queen of England is cold but for these folks it’s culture? I’m hoping for a Japanese version of the crown now!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look on the bright side. Thanks to a couple of trailblazers this young couple need never lack for money. They’ll always have Oprah’s couch.

Not everyone wants to trash their family and in laws on worldwide news for a buck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don't understand how this family can look at 3 generations of women who have had massive emotional breakdowns, and yet maintain this level of rigidity. Her parents DIDN'T HUG THEIR DAUGHTER GOODBYE. That's cold.
I hope she makes lots of artsy friends in New York, and she and her hot husband have a great life.

My father is Japanese. He does not hug. In public, he always acts very appropriately. Please make an effort to understand different cultures, PP. The Japanese are not demonstrative people. I am sure the Imperial family loves all their children, just like I know my father loves me. But no one in Japan expected this loving family to act any differently than they have. It's just how it is.

Did your father refuse to help get a good start in your life?

Did your father decide not to finance a wedding and send you straight to the judicial docket?

Did you father watch as you drove off TO YOUR WEDDING and just wave and go back inside the house?

Did your father act so embarrassed of you that he wouldn't let you do traditional wedding rites inside the temple (Mako was forced to worship outside in the courtyard)?

Please. The way the future Emperor has treated his oldest daughter is disgraceful. Traditions or not.

PP you replied to. You don't understand. This is what he believes he has to do to live up to the strict rules of the Imperial House. Until pretty recently, Royal Houses in Europe had strict protocol rules as well.

It does not mean that he doesn't love his daughter, or fails to understand her, or fails to support her in private. In Japan, one's public behavior can be extremely different from one's private behavior, and even more so for a member of the Imperial family. For example, it's not done for parents to praise their children in public. The accepted manner is to criticize them, to avoid appearing too proud of them, which would be uncouth. The subtle way you criticize them shows others how you really feel about them. Everything is subtle or what's unsaid is just as important as what's said.

My father acted in what you would have thought to be a very cold manner before, during and after my wedding. He did not approve of my husband. It didn't bother me at all, because I know he was conflicted and wanted the best for me. He supported me as a child (he sewed my school play costumes, made my bento lunch every morning, drove me to school, took care of me when I was sick) and has had occasion to support me during my adult life after my wedding. I know he loves me. He doesn't need to SAY so. Is that hard for Westerners to understand? The most important things in life need not be expressed.

I am from an Asian culture though not Japanese. I detest it when people justify verbal and emotional abuse under the guise of culture. No, functional Asian families express their love and appreciation in ways that their children feel loved. What you described is dysfunction, what the imperial Japanese family is doing is dysfunctional and should not be swept under the guise of “Japanese culture”.

She FEELS loved though. And through his actions, sacrifices and devotion to her, her father has shown more love than many fathers in Western cultures who talk a big game but fail to act lovingly.

Americans are so full of it, just go to family forum and these are literally the last people in the world one should take seriously regarding family relations. They Dump their parents to retirement homes. They send their kids off to college across the country for no reason. All they every day repeat that nobody owes anyone anything, that you should not judge your kids and parents’ choices etc etc. it’s this incredibly sick lonely culture and here they are lecturing others on how to properly show emotions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mazel Tov!

Apparently he announced he was going to study Law in NY a few months after getting engaged and they haven’t seen each other in three years.

Three years is incredible. That their love was that strong. She fought for him and that marriage while surrounded night-and-day by courtiers who would have done anything to stop it.

She would be the ninth Japanese princess to be married to a “commoner”. Her own mother was a commoner. In Japan it was expected she would lead a private life as many of her predecessors have.

No one stopped her marriage but it seems her fiancée was reviled. I hope she has the happiest of endings and enjoys her privacy in NY.

The abuse is because he’s a poor guy.

My Japanese friend says the whole of Japan dislikes him because he and his mother seem sketchy. That’s brutal, but good for him for proving them wrong. Success is the best revenge!

It is a little early to conclude he is a great guy. They just got married. Time will tell.

I worry about the 3 years apart, and pressures that come from in-laws who may be undermining the union.

Won’t all of the in-laws be in Japan? They’ve had years of undermining and pressure from the press and others in Japan. I’m hoping they enjoy a lovely honeymoon period in NYC. While they did just get married, they’ve known each other since they were students. Adversity against a common threat can often serve to create strong bonds.

It’s also possible that their in-laws support them privately — if not publicly.

I don’t think her family was undermining them, her father (next in line to throne) was under insane pressure to disavow the marriage. Something like 80%-90% of Japanese disapprove of this marriage, there were even protest today. Mass hysteria!

I think they are doing whatever needs to be done publicly to tame the flames; no one know what’s happening privately.

I didn’t mean to imply that her family was undermining them. I was actually wondering just the opposite: if in the face of the press and public opinion, the family supports them privately, while remaining “correct” in public. This is likely painful all the way around for the family.

I truly don’t get the public protests though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don't understand how this family can look at 3 generations of women who have had massive emotional breakdowns, and yet maintain this level of rigidity. Her parents DIDN'T HUG THEIR DAUGHTER GOODBYE. That's cold.
I hope she makes lots of artsy friends in New York, and she and her hot husband have a great life.

My father is Japanese. He does not hug. In public, he always acts very appropriately. Please make an effort to understand different cultures, PP. The Japanese are not demonstrative people. I am sure the Imperial family loves all their children, just like I know my father loves me. But no one in Japan expected this loving family to act any differently than they have. It's just how it is.

Did your father refuse to help get a good start in your life?

Did your father decide not to finance a wedding and send you straight to the judicial docket?

Did you father watch as you drove off TO YOUR WEDDING and just wave and go back inside the house?

Did your father act so embarrassed of you that he wouldn't let you do traditional wedding rites inside the temple (Mako was forced to worship outside in the courtyard)?

Please. The way the future Emperor has treated his oldest daughter is disgraceful. Traditions or not.

PP you replied to. You don't understand. This is what he believes he has to do to live up to the strict rules of the Imperial House. Until pretty recently, Royal Houses in Europe had strict protocol rules as well.

It does not mean that he doesn't love his daughter, or fails to understand her, or fails to support her in private. In Japan, one's public behavior can be extremely different from one's private behavior, and even more so for a member of the Imperial family. For example, it's not done for parents to praise their children in public. The accepted manner is to criticize them, to avoid appearing too proud of them, which would be uncouth. The subtle way you criticize them shows others how you really feel about them. Everything is subtle or what's unsaid is just as important as what's said.

My father acted in what you would have thought to be a very cold manner before, during and after my wedding. He did not approve of my husband. It didn't bother me at all, because I know he was conflicted and wanted the best for me. He supported me as a child (he sewed my school play costumes, made my bento lunch every morning, drove me to school, took care of me when I was sick) and has had occasion to support me during my adult life after my wedding. I know he loves me. He doesn't need to SAY so. Is that hard for Westerners to understand? The most important things in life need not be expressed.

I am from an Asian culture though not Japanese. I detest it when people justify verbal and emotional abuse under the guise of culture. No, functional Asian families express their love and appreciation in ways that their children feel loved. What you described is dysfunction, what the imperial Japanese family is doing is dysfunctional and should not be swept under the guise of “Japanese culture”.

She FEELS loved though. And through his actions, sacrifices and devotion to her, her father has shown more love than many fathers in Western cultures who talk a big game but fail to act lovingly.

Americans are so full of it, just go to family forum and these are literally the last people in the world one should take seriously regarding family relations. They Dump their parents to retirement homes. They send their kids off to college across the country for no reason. All they every day repeat that nobody owes anyone anything, that you should not judge your kids and parents’ choices etc etc. it’s this incredibly sick lonely culture and here they are lecturing others on how to properly show emotions.

Please try not to over-generalize. The people who post on DCUM aren’t even typical of DC, let alone representative of the US as a whole.
Many of us take care of our parents and other family members, and maintain lifelong friendships and community relationships. There are good reasons, though, for going away to school, and I’d be happy to discuss them with you in another thread if you would like.
-DC Native who went away to school and came back for family reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s cute, I wish them the best. Also, we need to stop caring about “royal” families. It such an anachronism.

I get your point, but the whole reason the postwar imperial system exists is because of General McArthur, the US and the 1947 Constitution drafted by US civilians during the Allied Occupation.

That’s true but McArthur and the Allies actually did them a solid. They had already been bombed twice, were losing the war in every conceivable way and yet still - the Japanese were not prepared to surrender if their Emperor was humiliated.

And I mean that literally. The Allies gave them a facesaving surrender by allowing the Emperor to remain as head of state and in power. They didn’t even order any of the imperial men killed for ordering the attack on PH or require the Emperor to sign the treaty of surrender in person. They sent a diplomat.

So yeah - without McArthur the Chrysanthemum throne would have been eliminated 80+ years ago.

And before you say - we shouldn’t have attacked them yada yada - remember the Japanese went to war with us first and at the behest of Imperial council who have never lost a war in the history of their empire.

I wasn’t going to say that. I have a doctorate in modern Japanese history. Just live reading about this stuff in DCUM for a change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don't understand how this family can look at 3 generations of women who have had massive emotional breakdowns, and yet maintain this level of rigidity. Her parents DIDN'T HUG THEIR DAUGHTER GOODBYE. That's cold.
I hope she makes lots of artsy friends in New York, and she and her hot husband have a great life.

My father is Japanese. He does not hug. In public, he always acts very appropriately. Please make an effort to understand different cultures, PP. The Japanese are not demonstrative people. I am sure the Imperial family loves all their children, just like I know my father loves me. But no one in Japan expected this loving family to act any differently than they have. It's just how it is.

Did your father refuse to help get a good start in your life?

Did your father decide not to finance a wedding and send you straight to the judicial docket?

Did you father watch as you drove off TO YOUR WEDDING and just wave and go back inside the house?

Did your father act so embarrassed of you that he wouldn't let you do traditional wedding rites inside the temple (Mako was forced to worship outside in the courtyard)?

Please. The way the future Emperor has treated his oldest daughter is disgraceful. Traditions or not.

PP you replied to. You don't understand. This is what he believes he has to do to live up to the strict rules of the Imperial House. Until pretty recently, Royal Houses in Europe had strict protocol rules as well.

It does not mean that he doesn't love his daughter, or fails to understand her, or fails to support her in private. In Japan, one's public behavior can be extremely different from one's private behavior, and even more so for a member of the Imperial family. For example, it's not done for parents to praise their children in public. The accepted manner is to criticize them, to avoid appearing too proud of them, which would be uncouth. The subtle way you criticize them shows others how you really feel about them. Everything is subtle or what's unsaid is just as important as what's said.

My father acted in what you would have thought to be a very cold manner before, during and after my wedding. He did not approve of my husband. It didn't bother me at all, because I know he was conflicted and wanted the best for me. He supported me as a child (he sewed my school play costumes, made my bento lunch every morning, drove me to school, took care of me when I was sick) and has had occasion to support me during my adult life after my wedding. I know he loves me. He doesn't need to SAY so. Is that hard for Westerners to understand? The most important things in life need not be expressed.

I am from an Asian culture though not Japanese. I detest it when people justify verbal and emotional abuse under the guise of culture. No, functional Asian families express their love and appreciation in ways that their children feel loved. What you described is dysfunction, what the imperial Japanese family is doing is dysfunctional and should not be swept under the guise of “Japanese culture”.

She FEELS loved though. And through his actions, sacrifices and devotion to her, her father has shown more love than many fathers in Western cultures who talk a big game but fail to act lovingly.

Americans are so full of it, just go to family forum and these are literally the last people in the world one should take seriously regarding family relations. They Dump their parents to retirement homes. They send their kids off to college across the country for no reason. All they every day repeat that nobody owes anyone anything, that you should not judge your kids and parents’ choices etc etc. it’s this incredibly sick lonely culture and here they are lecturing others on how to properly show emotions.

The love between this couple, the emotion they display is there for the whole world to see. Don’t get me wrong, we all need affection, but over the top displays of affection don’t equate to love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s cute, I wish them the best. Also, we need to stop caring about “royal” families. It such an anachronism.

I get your point, but the whole reason the postwar imperial system exists is because of General McArthur, the US and the 1947 Constitution drafted by US civilians during the Allied Occupation.

That’s true but McArthur and the Allies actually did them a solid. They had already been bombed twice, were losing the war in every conceivable way and yet still - the Japanese were not prepared to surrender if their Emperor was humiliated.

And I mean that literally. The Allies gave them a facesaving surrender by allowing the Emperor to remain as head of state and in power. They didn’t even order any of the imperial men killed for ordering the attack on PH or require the Emperor to sign the treaty of surrender in person. They sent a diplomat.

So yeah - without McArthur the Chrysanthemum throne would have been eliminated 80+ years ago.

And before you say - we shouldn’t have attacked them yada yada - remember the Japanese went to war with us first and at the behest of Imperial council who have never lost a war in the history of their empire.

I wasn’t going to say that. I have a doctorate in modern Japanese history. Just live reading about this stuff in DCUM for a change.

Ohhh - since you’re here. I read that the Japanese imperial household budget is $200 million a year and they have 1,000 servants under the IHA (from the head down to the gardeners). But there’s only a dozen or so remaining Imperial family members. So where does all the money go? Are IHA staff particularly well paid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Such grace under pressure and she appears to have found a real prince. The man moved halfway across the world to secure a livelihood for both of them and came back to marry her.

I love this picture of them. The way he looks at her. Oooh.

The wat they look at each other!❤❤🤗

But (and this is not about her personally), there is a coy girl thing going on...that people really seem to like.

No wonder they don't think women can head up the royal family, traditon socializes them to be meek and compliant.

Grown women there love MISS KITTY. And look at what this leads to:

https://www.aljazeera.com/features/2017/3/8/sexual-assault-in-japan-every-girl-was-a-victim

[Anonymous]

Lots of English media are also not reporting (I wonder why?) that a big reason why Kei Komuro was reviled by the Japanese public is because there were rumors that his family has Korean ancestry. Japan is still deeply, deeply racist against Koreans and ethnic Koreans.

Truly shameful.