Wedding bells for Princess Mako of Japan and Kei Komuro

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Such grace under pressure and she appears to have found a real prince. The man moved halfway across the world to secure a livelihood for both of them and came back to marry her.

I love this picture of them. The way he looks at her. Oooh.

The wat they look at each other!❤❤🤗

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A refreshing story of royal independence. Harry and Meghan should take note. It’s entirely possible to get a regular job and support yourself outside of a royal kingdom. The only option isn’t selling your soul to the media and bashing your entire family along the way as they would lol everyone to believe.

This girl is pure class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://www.lowenstein.com/people/attorneys/kei-komuro

Good firm. He sounds like he has a bright future.

It's so funny that there is this frenzy over him being unsuitable and he is..... a corporate lawyer. How much more staid can you get?

According to the NYT article, the objections included the fact that he had "shaggy" hair (gasp!), then a ponytail (gasp!), ate from food trucks (like every other midtown office worker!) (gasp!) and wore a pin-striped suit rather than a plain black or navy suit to the press conference.

Kudos to both of them for getting through this ridiculous circus with calm and grace. I probably would have overturned the table, given the press the finger and stormed out of there. Bye!

I've been to a lot of foreign countries but the way the Japanese are acting with this is very surprising to me. I mean the Imperial family lives in the heart of Tokyo. You want to see non-confirmist hair (gasp!) that's the city to go to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Congratulations to them! He seems like a good guy to me (went to law school, works hard, has a good job at a firm in NY) and I hope they are very happy.

I live in NYC and I am married to a man of Japanese descent. NYC is filled with Japanese ex-pats -- many of whom are here because they prefer the freer culture of NY rather than the oppressive conformist culture of Japanese -- writers, artists, but also just regular office professionals who chafe under Japanese society norms. I think Kei and Mako will fit in just fine here!

I was hoping there was a large expat community of Japanese in NYC. I want them all to embrace her and welcome her and also help her with the transition. I know she studied in England but its going to be a brutal experience going from a walled-off garden life in the imperial household to the concrete jungle of NYC and seeing homeless people sleeping outside your billion-dollar condo tower.

My best wishes to Mako and Kei and LOTS OF SONS. Stuff the IHA.

Lots of sons?????????????????

Uhm, it is 2021.

Except for her brother - a male child hasn't been born in the Japanese Imperial family for 50+ years. Why is that important? Only men can inherit the throne.

That leaves the Emperor (61), his brother - the Crown Prince/Mako's father (55), their uncle (81), and a 15-year-old single heir (Mako's brother) as the only thing standing between the throne and annihilation. It would be sweet justice if Mako popped out 4 boys back-to-back after all the crap the IHA put her through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don't understand how this family can look at 3 generations of women who have had massive emotional breakdowns, and yet maintain this level of rigidity. Her parents DIDN'T HUG THEIR DAUGHTER GOODBYE. That's cold.
I hope she makes lots of artsy friends in New York, and she and her hot husband have a great life.

My father is Japanese. He does not hug. In public, he always acts very appropriately. Please make an effort to understand different cultures, PP. The Japanese are not demonstrative people. I am sure the Imperial family loves all their children, just like I know my father loves me. But no one in Japan expected this loving family to act any differently than they have. It's just how it is.

Did your father refuse to help get a good start in your life?

Did your father decide not to finance a wedding and send you straight to the judicial docket?

Did you father watch as you drove off TO YOUR WEDDING and just wave and go back inside the house?

Did your father act so embarrassed of you that he wouldn't let you do traditional wedding rites inside the temple (Mako was forced to worship outside in the courtyard)?

Please. The way the future Emperor has treated his oldest daughter is disgraceful. Traditions or not.

PP you replied to. You don't understand. This is what he believes he has to do to live up to the strict rules of the Imperial House. Until pretty recently, Royal Houses in Europe had strict protocol rules as well.

It does not mean that he doesn't love his daughter, or fails to understand her, or fails to support her in private. In Japan, one's public behavior can be extremely different from one's private behavior, and even more so for a member of the Imperial family. For example, it's not done for parents to praise their children in public. The accepted manner is to criticize them, to avoid appearing too proud of them, which would be uncouth. The subtle way you criticize them shows others how you really feel about them. Everything is subtle or what's unsaid is just as important as what's said.

My father acted in what you would have thought to be a very cold manner before, during and after my wedding. He did not approve of my husband. It didn't bother me at all, because I know he was conflicted and wanted the best for me. He supported me as a child (he sewed my school play costumes, made my bento lunch every morning, drove me to school, took care of me when I was sick) and has had occasion to support me during my adult life after my wedding. I know he loves me. He doesn't need to SAY so. Is that hard for Westerners to understand? The most important things in life need not be expressed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don't understand how this family can look at 3 generations of women who have had massive emotional breakdowns, and yet maintain this level of rigidity. Her parents DIDN'T HUG THEIR DAUGHTER GOODBYE. That's cold.
I hope she makes lots of artsy friends in New York, and she and her hot husband have a great life.

My father is Japanese. He does not hug. In public, he always acts very appropriately. Please make an effort to understand different cultures, PP. The Japanese are not demonstrative people. I am sure the Imperial family loves all their children, just like I know my father loves me. But no one in Japan expected this loving family to act any differently than they have. It's just how it is.

Did your father refuse to help get a good start in your life?

Did your father decide not to finance a wedding and send you straight to the judicial docket?

Did you father watch as you drove off TO YOUR WEDDING and just wave and go back inside the house?

Did your father act so embarrassed of you that he wouldn't let you do traditional wedding rites inside the temple (Mako was forced to worship outside in the courtyard)?

Please. The way the future Emperor has treated his oldest daughter is disgraceful. Traditions or not.

PP you replied to. You don't understand. This is what he believes he has to do to live up to the strict rules of the Imperial House. Until pretty recently, Royal Houses in Europe had strict protocol rules as well.

It does not mean that he doesn't love his daughter, or fails to understand her, or fails to support her in private. In Japan, one's public behavior can be extremely different from one's private behavior, and even more so for a member of the Imperial family. For example, it's not done for parents to praise their children in public. The accepted manner is to criticize them, to avoid appearing too proud of them, which would be uncouth. The subtle way you criticize them shows others how you really feel about them. Everything is subtle or what's unsaid is just as important as what's said.

My father acted in what you would have thought to be a very cold manner before, during and after my wedding. He did not approve of my husband. It didn't bother me at all, because I know he was conflicted and wanted the best for me. He supported me as a child (he sewed my school play costumes, made my bento lunch every morning, drove me to school, took care of me when I was sick) and has had occasion to support me during my adult life after my wedding. I know he loves me. He doesn't need to SAY so. Is that hard for Westerners to understand? The most important things in life need not be expressed.

Yes. It is. As a Westerner who was raised by a non-Western and Western couple it was and still is a difficult divide to navigate. I learned what 'quiet approval' meant with the non-westerner parent but constant criticism especially in the face of accomplishments a completely Western family would have been jubilantly celebrating is not something I would wish on anyone.

There's a reason Asians, especially East Asians, have the worst mental health rates in the world.

[Anonymous]

Personally I think royal families by definition are dysfunctional

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don't understand how this family can look at 3 generations of women who have had massive emotional breakdowns, and yet maintain this level of rigidity. Her parents DIDN'T HUG THEIR DAUGHTER GOODBYE. That's cold.
I hope she makes lots of artsy friends in New York, and she and her hot husband have a great life.

My father is Japanese. He does not hug. In public, he always acts very appropriately. Please make an effort to understand different cultures, PP. The Japanese are not demonstrative people. I am sure the Imperial family loves all their children, just like I know my father loves me. But no one in Japan expected this loving family to act any differently than they have. It's just how it is.

Did your father refuse to help get a good start in your life?

Did your father decide not to finance a wedding and send you straight to the judicial docket?

Did you father watch as you drove off TO YOUR WEDDING and just wave and go back inside the house?

Did your father act so embarrassed of you that he wouldn't let you do traditional wedding rites inside the temple (Mako was forced to worship outside in the courtyard)?

Please. The way the future Emperor has treated his oldest daughter is disgraceful. Traditions or not.

PP you replied to. You don't understand. This is what he believes he has to do to live up to the strict rules of the Imperial House. Until pretty recently, Royal Houses in Europe had strict protocol rules as well.

It does not mean that he doesn't love his daughter, or fails to understand her, or fails to support her in private. In Japan, one's public behavior can be extremely different from one's private behavior, and even more so for a member of the Imperial family. For example, it's not done for parents to praise their children in public. The accepted manner is to criticize them, to avoid appearing too proud of them, which would be uncouth. The subtle way you criticize them shows others how you really feel about them. Everything is subtle or what's unsaid is just as important as what's said.

My father acted in what you would have thought to be a very cold manner before, during and after my wedding. He did not approve of my husband. It didn't bother me at all, because I know he was conflicted and wanted the best for me. He supported me as a child (he sewed my school play costumes, made my bento lunch every morning, drove me to school, took care of me when I was sick) and has had occasion to support me during my adult life after my wedding. I know he loves me. He doesn't need to SAY so. Is that hard for Westerners to understand? The most important things in life need not be expressed.

I am from an Asian culture though not Japanese. I detest it when people justify verbal and emotional abuse under the guise of culture. No, functional Asian families express their love and appreciation in ways that their children feel loved. What you described is dysfunction, what the imperial Japanese family is doing is dysfunctional and should not be swept under the guise of “Japanese culture”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://www.lowenstein.com/people/attorneys/kei-komuro

Good firm. He sounds like he has a bright future.

It's so funny that there is this frenzy over him being unsuitable and he is..... a corporate lawyer. How much more staid can you get?

According to the NYT article, the objections included the fact that he had "shaggy" hair (gasp!), then a ponytail (gasp!), ate from food trucks (like every other midtown office worker!) (gasp!) and wore a pin-striped suit rather than a plain black or navy suit to the press conference.

Kudos to both of them for getting through this ridiculous circus with calm and grace. I probably would have overturned the table, given the press the finger and stormed out of there. Bye!

I've been to a lot of foreign countries but the way the Japanese are acting with this is very surprising to me. I mean the Imperial family lives in the heart of Tokyo. You want to see non-confirmist hair (gasp!) that's the city to go to.

Yes, but that's all playacting. It'd be like attending Comic-Con and thinking that that sub-culture represented the culture as a whole. And at the upper end of Japanese society, where Mako is expected to me, they would never dream of doing such a thing. You go to the right schools, get the right jobs at the right companies, and wear prim, buttoned up outfits just like everyone else. Do not even think of setting a foot out of line.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mazel Tov!

Apparently he announced he was going to study Law in NY a few months after getting engaged and they haven’t seen each other in three years.

Three years is incredible. That their love was that strong. She fought for him and that marriage while surrounded night-and-day by courtiers who would have done anything to stop it.

She would be the ninth Japanese princess to be married to a “commoner”. Her own mother was a commoner. In Japan it was expected she would lead a private life as many of her predecessors have.

No one stopped her marriage but it seems her fiancée was reviled. I hope she has the happiest of endings and enjoys her privacy in NY.

The abuse is because he’s a poor guy.

My Japanese friend says the whole of Japan dislikes him because he and his mother seem sketchy. That’s brutal, but good for him for proving them wrong. Success is the best revenge!

It is a little early to conclude he is a great guy. They just got married. Time will tell.

I worry about the 3 years apart, and pressures that come from in-laws who may be undermining the union.

Won’t all of the in-laws be in Japan? They’ve had years of undermining and pressure from the press and others in Japan. I’m hoping they enjoy a lovely honeymoon period in NYC. While they did just get married, they’ve known each other since they were students. Adversity against a common threat can often serve to create strong bonds.

It’s also possible that their in-laws support them privately — if not publicly.

I don’t think her family was undermining them, her father (next in line to throne) was under insane pressure to disavow the marriage. Something like 80%-90% of Japanese disapprove of this marriage, there were even protest today. Mass hysteria!

I think they are doing whatever needs to be done publicly to tame the flames; no one know what’s happening privately.

[Anonymous]

It’s ridiculous if the majority of Japanese disapprove. Reminds me that I am glad not to be Japanese despite the glitzy serene elegant charm on the surface.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don't understand how this family can look at 3 generations of women who have had massive emotional breakdowns, and yet maintain this level of rigidity. Her parents DIDN'T HUG THEIR DAUGHTER GOODBYE. That's cold.
I hope she makes lots of artsy friends in New York, and she and her hot husband have a great life.

My father is Japanese. He does not hug. In public, he always acts very appropriately. Please make an effort to understand different cultures, PP. The Japanese are not demonstrative people. I am sure the Imperial family loves all their children, just like I know my father loves me. But no one in Japan expected this loving family to act any differently than they have. It's just how it is.

Did your father refuse to help get a good start in your life?

Did your father decide not to finance a wedding and send you straight to the judicial docket?

Did you father watch as you drove off TO YOUR WEDDING and just wave and go back inside the house?

Did your father act so embarrassed of you that he wouldn't let you do traditional wedding rites inside the temple (Mako was forced to worship outside in the courtyard)?

Please. The way the future Emperor has treated his oldest daughter is disgraceful. Traditions or not.

PP you replied to. You don't understand. This is what he believes he has to do to live up to the strict rules of the Imperial House. Until pretty recently, Royal Houses in Europe had strict protocol rules as well.

It does not mean that he doesn't love his daughter, or fails to understand her, or fails to support her in private. In Japan, one's public behavior can be extremely different from one's private behavior, and even more so for a member of the Imperial family. For example, it's not done for parents to praise their children in public. The accepted manner is to criticize them, to avoid appearing too proud of them, which would be uncouth. The subtle way you criticize them shows others how you really feel about them. Everything is subtle or what's unsaid is just as important as what's said.

My father acted in what you would have thought to be a very cold manner before, during and after my wedding. He did not approve of my husband. It didn't bother me at all, because I know he was conflicted and wanted the best for me. He supported me as a child (he sewed my school play costumes, made my bento lunch every morning, drove me to school, took care of me when I was sick) and has had occasion to support me during my adult life after my wedding. I know he loves me. He doesn't need to SAY so. Is that hard for Westerners to understand? The most important things in life need not be expressed.

I am from an Asian culture though not Japanese. I detest it when people justify verbal and emotional abuse under the guise of culture. No, functional Asian families express their love and appreciation in ways that their children feel loved. What you described is dysfunction, what the imperial Japanese family is doing is dysfunctional and should not be swept under the guise of “Japanese culture”.

She FEELS loved though. And through his actions, sacrifices and devotion to her, her father has shown more love than many fathers in Western cultures who talk a big game but fail to act lovingly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don't understand how this family can look at 3 generations of women who have had massive emotional breakdowns, and yet maintain this level of rigidity. Her parents DIDN'T HUG THEIR DAUGHTER GOODBYE. That's cold.
I hope she makes lots of artsy friends in New York, and she and her hot husband have a great life.

My father is Japanese. He does not hug. In public, he always acts very appropriately. Please make an effort to understand different cultures, PP. The Japanese are not demonstrative people. I am sure the Imperial family loves all their children, just like I know my father loves me. But no one in Japan expected this loving family to act any differently than they have. It's just how it is.

Did your father refuse to help get a good start in your life?

Did your father decide not to finance a wedding and send you straight to the judicial docket?

Did you father watch as you drove off TO YOUR WEDDING and just wave and go back inside the house?

Did your father act so embarrassed of you that he wouldn't let you do traditional wedding rites inside the temple (Mako was forced to worship outside in the courtyard)?

Please. The way the future Emperor has treated his oldest daughter is disgraceful. Traditions or not.

PP you replied to. You don't understand. This is what he believes he has to do to live up to the strict rules of the Imperial House. Until pretty recently, Royal Houses in Europe had strict protocol rules as well.

It does not mean that he doesn't love his daughter, or fails to understand her, or fails to support her in private. In Japan, one's public behavior can be extremely different from one's private behavior, and even more so for a member of the Imperial family. For example, it's not done for parents to praise their children in public. The accepted manner is to criticize them, to avoid appearing too proud of them, which would be uncouth. The subtle way you criticize them shows others how you really feel about them. Everything is subtle or what's unsaid is just as important as what's said.

My father acted in what you would have thought to be a very cold manner before, during and after my wedding. He did not approve of my husband. It didn't bother me at all, because I know he was conflicted and wanted the best for me. He supported me as a child (he sewed my school play costumes, made my bento lunch every morning, drove me to school, took care of me when I was sick) and has had occasion to support me during my adult life after my wedding. I know he loves me. He doesn't need to SAY so. Is that hard for Westerners to understand? The most important things in life need not be expressed.

I am from an Asian culture though not Japanese. I detest it when people justify verbal and emotional abuse under the guise of culture. No, functional Asian families express their love and appreciation in ways that their children feel loved. What you described is dysfunction, what the imperial Japanese family is doing is dysfunctional and should not be swept under the guise of “Japanese culture”.

Korean here and same. Sorry your dad was cold and distant and didn’t appropriately express love but that’s a problem with your family, not East Asians in general.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don't understand how this family can look at 3 generations of women who have had massive emotional breakdowns, and yet maintain this level of rigidity. Her parents DIDN'T HUG THEIR DAUGHTER GOODBYE. That's cold.
I hope she makes lots of artsy friends in New York, and she and her hot husband have a great life.

My father is Japanese. He does not hug. In public, he always acts very appropriately. Please make an effort to understand different cultures, PP. The Japanese are not demonstrative people. I am sure the Imperial family loves all their children, just like I know my father loves me. But no one in Japan expected this loving family to act any differently than they have. It's just how it is.

Did your father refuse to help get a good start in your life?

Did your father decide not to finance a wedding and send you straight to the judicial docket?

Did you father watch as you drove off TO YOUR WEDDING and just wave and go back inside the house?

Did your father act so embarrassed of you that he wouldn't let you do traditional wedding rites inside the temple (Mako was forced to worship outside in the courtyard)?

Please. The way the future Emperor has treated his oldest daughter is disgraceful. Traditions or not.

PP you replied to. You don't understand. This is what he believes he has to do to live up to the strict rules of the Imperial House. Until pretty recently, Royal Houses in Europe had strict protocol rules as well.

It does not mean that he doesn't love his daughter, or fails to understand her, or fails to support her in private. In Japan, one's public behavior can be extremely different from one's private behavior, and even more so for a member of the Imperial family. For example, it's not done for parents to praise their children in public. The accepted manner is to criticize them, to avoid appearing too proud of them, which would be uncouth. The subtle way you criticize them shows others how you really feel about them. Everything is subtle or what's unsaid is just as important as what's said.

My father acted in what you would have thought to be a very cold manner before, during and after my wedding. He did not approve of my husband. It didn't bother me at all, because I know he was conflicted and wanted the best for me. He supported me as a child (he sewed my school play costumes, made my bento lunch every morning, drove me to school, took care of me when I was sick) and has had occasion to support me during my adult life after my wedding. I know he loves me. He doesn't need to SAY so. Is that hard for Westerners to understand? The most important things in life need not be expressed.

I am from an Asian culture though not Japanese. I detest it when people justify verbal and emotional abuse under the guise of culture. No, functional Asian families express their love and appreciation in ways that their children feel loved. What you described is dysfunction, what the imperial Japanese family is doing is dysfunctional and should not be swept under the guise of “Japanese culture”.

She FEELS loved though. And through his actions, sacrifices and devotion to her, her father has shown more love than many fathers in Western cultures who talk a big game but fail to act lovingly.

No she’s excusing his cold behavior for the him doing the bare minimal for her to feel loved. It’s a function of him being a cold father, not Japanese culture.

[Anonymous]

Cue this tale being made into a Hallmark movie in 3... 2... 1!

They've never had one where the royal had to give everything up to be with their true love. It's always the royal convincing the staunch elder royals that marrying a commoner for true love is noble.