DD dislikes Half sister

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

There’s no scenario where the dad isn’t fully in the wrong here. I also primarily text my kids. If I have something important to say like a birth or a wedding, I text

“I need to talk to you about something important. Call me back today.”

It really is that simple. The dad is a loser.

Seriously? This particular situation aside, if I call my kid, they better answer or have a good reason why. I'm not one to make a lot of calls to someone who prefers to be texted, including my kids, so if I'm calling it's because I want to speak with you for some reason. And you damn sure better not ignore my calls for months, at least, not if you want to have privileges.

Yes, seriously. It sounds like your kids live with you so it’s a different situation. This dad is a different time zone and could be calling in the middle of sports practice or even school. He’s not involved in her life snd communicates primarily via text. If that’s the case, then if he has something important to say all he has to is text: “Hey, I have something important to tell you. Call me after swim practice.” You really think that’s an excessive demand on a father??? Seriously?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel bad for her. Basically she's now seen both her mother and her father get new partners, start new families, and push her aside. She probably feels like a has been who isn't central to either family unit. She'll probably get over it, sure, but it's hard to blame her for feeling that way.

At the same time. Life goes on. She gets to learn that divorce is not the end of the world and people can be happy again

That’s a super cruel point of view. “Life goes on, sorry kid, we both have new families now.”

[Anonymous]

I feel OP isn't being completely being honest here- did you use your own anger and hatred to keep the your dd away from her dad?
Also from your comments about birthday money it seems you were using Jim as an ATM and 3K for driving lessons?? Whaat??
Which portion did you volunteer to pay? Or were you hoping he would pick up the bill. Sounds like you were manipulating the situation for money. Classic first wife behavior

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel OP isn't being completely being honest here- did you use your own anger and hatred to keep the your dd away from her dad?
Also from your comments about birthday money it seems you were using Jim as an ATM and 3K for driving lessons?? Whaat??
Which portion did you volunteer to pay? Or were you hoping he would pick up the bill. Sounds like you were manipulating the situation for money. Classic first wife behavior

OP here I gave her some towards it and I think he should pick up the bigger portion. How am I manipulating the situation for money? He is her dad and needs to pay for things. He has cut back on the birthday money. Fair enough he can't take her shopping like he did. But DD loved that with her dad. He bought her whatever she wanted and now he is saying no. That's mean to her

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They didn’t tell her all the way up to the birth? Surprise, we had a baby?

I’d be pissed too. Not shocking she’s taking it out by ignoring the baby, but she’ll probably come around. It’s just so new. Hopefully you’re validating her feelings that it was wrong for her dad and stepmom to keep it from her, because it was.

OP here yes they video called from the hospital and said here's your sister oh and we got married. My DD hasn't been all that close to her dad ever. They get along just fine but it's more of a let's do fun things rather than have a deep meaningful relationship.

So who dis he call for the video call? Seems weird she'd ignore him for months and then decide to accept a video call

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel OP isn't being completely being honest here- did you use your own anger and hatred to keep the your dd away from her dad?
Also from your comments about birthday money it seems you were using Jim as an ATM and 3K for driving lessons?? Whaat??
Which portion did you volunteer to pay? Or were you hoping he would pick up the bill. Sounds like you were manipulating the situation for money. Classic first wife behavior

OP here I gave her some towards it and I think he should pick up the bigger portion. How am I manipulating the situation for money? He is her dad and needs to pay for things. He has cut back on the birthday money. Fair enough he can't take her shopping like he did. But DD loved that with her dad. He bought her whatever she wanted and now he is saying no. That's mean to her

Why? And why does she need so much for drivers class? Just download VDOT's pamphlet on how to teach driving. It is broken down in easy 30 minute steps. That is how I taught my children to drive. We did a few sessions each week and by the time each qualified to take Behind the Wheel they were ready. It was not that difficult. It just took dedication to going out every week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel OP isn't being completely being honest here- did you use your own anger and hatred to keep the your dd away from her dad?
Also from your comments about birthday money it seems you were using Jim as an ATM and 3K for driving lessons?? Whaat??
Which portion did you volunteer to pay? Or were you hoping he would pick up the bill. Sounds like you were manipulating the situation for money. Classic first wife behavior

OP here I gave her some towards it and I think he should pick up the bigger portion. How am I manipulating the situation for money? He is her dad and needs to pay for things. He has cut back on the birthday money. Fair enough he can't take her shopping like he did. But DD loved that with her dad. He bought her whatever she wanted and now he is saying no. That's mean to her

Were you making her ask for that money to be used for other things? My DH's ex wife was notorious for doing that. I think you need therapy OP

Why? And why does she need so much for drivers class? Just download VDOT's pamphlet on how to teach driving. It is broken down in easy 30 minute steps. That is how I taught my children to drive. We did a few sessions each week and by the time each qualified to take Behind the Wheel they were ready. It was not that difficult. It just took dedication to going out every week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They didn’t tell her all the way up to the birth? Surprise, we had a baby?

I’d be pissed too. Not shocking she’s taking it out by ignoring the baby, but she’ll probably come around. It’s just so new. Hopefully you’re validating her feelings that it was wrong for her dad and stepmom to keep it from her, because it was.

OP here yes they video called from the hospital and said here's your sister oh and we got married. My DD hasn't been all that close to her dad ever. They get along just fine but it's more of a let's do fun things rather than have a deep meaningful relationship.

Then he’s reaping what he sowed and I would tell him as such. It’s on him and the stepmom to fix this and they should start with a sincere apology to your DD for keeping it from her. Your job is to validate your DD’s feelings whatever they may be. Hopefully no one is forcing her to spend time at their house with the baby.

OP here I did raise this with my ex and he said he tried calling her for her months and she didn't answer calls just messages back. She is a typical teenager. I used to remind her to take his calls but she was always busy with friends and a new boyfriend. So talking to Dad wasn't a priority.

This would have been an important thing to put in your OP -- your DD can't be mad if he TRIED to tell her. How would she have felt if he just texted her "we got married" and "we're having a baby"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Looks like stepmom changed her tune once she was having her own baby.

No, stop making this about the stepmom. This is 100% on the dad. It's HIS responsibility to tell his daughter.

[Anonymous]

I’d be angry and hurt too.

Your dd owes nothing to her half sister and merely respect to her father.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel bad for her. Basically she's now seen both her mother and her father get new partners, start new families, and push her aside. She probably feels like a has been who isn't central to either family unit. She'll probably get over it, sure, but it's hard to blame her for feeling that way.

At the same time. Life goes on. She gets to learn that divorce is not the end of the world and people can be happy again

That’s a super cruel point of view. “Life goes on, sorry kid, we both have new families now.”

X1000 way to be mean to your own kid.

I truly feel really bad for this girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I have 2 step DD's my DD is now 6. I didn't tell them either. More because DH's ex is crazy and would have caused me unnecessary issues. My womb my business. They eventually got over it. And even if they didn't I don't care.
The age gap was too big for any meaningful relationship. Your DD probably thinks she will loose out financially now. Stop taking it out on a baby and get it together

You are beyond horrible and not only do your step DDs think so but someday your DD will think so, too. And your DH is an axxhole and sh!tty dad for going along with your plan.

Its not horrible. We didn't say anything either. Ex-wife refused visits despite us buying a plane ticket for each and every court ordered visit but she wouldn't send them. We didn't want the drama so we didn't say anything till baby was home. One of the kids eventually came to visit. But, at some point, they were late teens/adults and enough was enough.

OP daughter Dad was replaced by her husband. OP never let daughter visit in Dad's home and Dad always had to come there. That is not a relationship. OP sounds fully of drama.

OP here I didn't wabt her to fly there till she was 14. So he used to fly.
But how is that a problem. I didn't want them alone together so visitation was at my house till she was 12 and they could do day trips. How is that wrong?

What the f*ck????

[Anonymous]

OP keeps dropping little tidbits of info.

"He didn't tell DD about his new wife and baby" turned into
"He tried to tell DD but she didn't answer her phone and didn't text him back until a week later"

"He used to take DD shopping all the time" turned into "He lives on the west coast and I only allowed him to visit her in my home until 2 years ago and I did not allow any visits during the pandemic"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d be angry and hurt too.

Your dd owes nothing to her half sister and merely respect to her father.

I have a half sister from my dad's previous marriage. She had that attitude that she didn't owe me or siblings anything. Well guess what she's on her own now. Why would my mom then have been emotionally held hostage by her. You guys need to get it together. DD needs to make effort with baby the way I'm sure she does with OP's other DD.
Way to go punishing the new baby.
Your DD was happy when dad was buying her things and now sees baby as a threat to her shopping sprees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP keeps dropping little tidbits of info.

"He didn't tell DD about his new wife and baby" turned into
"He tried to tell DD but she didn't answer her phone and didn't text him back until a week later"

"He used to take DD shopping all the time" turned into "He lives on the west coast and I only allowed him to visit her in my home until 2 years ago and I did not allow any visits during the pandemic"

+1
Something more is going on here.