Guy canceled date

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here- I havent heard back from him since that text last night! I’d think if someone was sincerely apologetic, they would have reached out by now!

OMG. He's been busy with his kids, maybe mom worked overnight, maybe he took his kids out for breakfast, maybe he's exhausted and sleeping in, or he had AM plans with someone else and is busy.

You sound very high maintenance for someone he's been out with twice. I hate when men cancel on me, but I don't expect them to constantly grovel and apologize. You're obsessing over him far more than he is over you.

If he cancels again, move on, but for now just chill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here- I havent heard back from him since that text last night! I’d think if someone was sincerely apologetic, they would have reached out by now!

OMG. He's been busy with his kids, maybe mom worked overnight, maybe he took his kids out for breakfast, maybe he's exhausted and sleeping in, or he had AM plans with someone else and is busy.

You sound very high maintenance for someone he's been out with twice. I hate when men cancel on me, but I don't expect them to constantly grovel and apologize. You're obsessing over him far more than he is over you.

If he cancels again, move on, but for now just chill.

It literally takes 2 minutes to text!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here- I havent heard back from him since that text last night! I’d think if someone was sincerely apologetic, they would have reached out by now!

OMG. He's been busy with his kids, maybe mom worked overnight, maybe he took his kids out for breakfast, maybe he's exhausted and sleeping in, or he had AM plans with someone else and is busy.

You sound very high maintenance for someone he's been out with twice. I hate when men cancel on me, but I don't expect them to constantly grovel and apologize. You're obsessing over him far more than he is over you.

If he cancels again, move on, but for now just chill.

It literally takes 2 minutes to text!

Exactly. It's okay to expect to be treated with respect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here- I havent heard back from him since that text last night! I’d think if someone was sincerely apologetic, they would have reached out by now!

You have been on TWO dates! Get a grip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not sure how I feel about this. 3rd date, we were supposed to go to the movies, 10 minutes before he was supposed to pick me up , I get this. This is after him texting me an hour prior reminding me to get ready so we wouldn’t be late. He told me before that his ex was a nurse, I know emergencies can happen and its tricky with kids, but I know men lie as well, so part of me is pissed that I got ready for nothing and also wondering if it’s just an excuse!

‘I have some bad news 😔 my ex got called in for an emergency at work and I gotta grab the kids. I’m so sorry! If you can get a refund on the tickets let me know. If not I will pay you for the tickets!! I feel so bad I’m sorry!’

I would take this at face value for what it is. If it happens again, there’s a possibility his ex is deliberately interfering in his dating life, but that would be really unusual. But this doesn’t sound like flaking to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gotta love all the ex wives on this thread insisting that ex husbands should cancel dating plans because their ex wife decides to pick up a last minute shift. Sorry y’all he’s not your husband anymore and you shouldn’t expect nor demand that.

ER nurses aren't always picking up an extra shift. There are you know.. emergencies.

For example there was a 5-vehicle colliision in Wheaton last night sending lots of people to the hospital. Extra staff may be needed on short notice:
https://mocoshow.com/blog/five-vehicle-collision-in-wheaton-sends-six-people-to-the-hospital/

I guess I missed where OP said the ex is an ER nurse. Also, ER nurses aren't always on call , and having to come in that's a choice the ex made, which is within her right to do so, but she should probably have another plan beside her ex husband to come watch the kids when she wants to work an extra shift.

It’s about the children you dope
How dense are you? Nowhere does it say the ex asked to work an extra shift or had any choice about it. And if my ex even hints that she’s not up to the task you bet your ass I’m going to drop you for my kids.

Then you shouldn't be dating. You should probably just stay married to your ex if you're going to continue to be at her beck and call.

Maybe It's part of the parenting agreement that the kid's dad is called first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure how I feel about this. 3rd date, we were supposed to go to the movies, 10 minutes before he was supposed to pick me up , I get this. This is after him texting me an hour prior reminding me to get ready so we wouldn’t be late. He told me before that his ex was a nurse, I know emergencies can happen and its tricky with kids, but I know men lie as well, so part of me is pissed that I got ready for nothing and also wondering if it’s just an excuse!

‘I have some bad news 😔 my ex got called in for an emergency at work and I gotta grab the kids. I’m so sorry! If you can get a refund on the tickets let me know. If not I will pay you for the tickets!! I feel so bad I’m sorry!’

I would take this at face value for what it is. If it happens again, there’s a possibility his ex is deliberately interfering in his dating life, but that would be really unusual. But this doesn’t sound like flaking to me.

I agree that it may not be flaking, but how the guy went about it shows he's got no respect for OP. O should put him on the backburner, go on dates with other guys, if she's still interested in him, and he asks her out and she's availbale by all means go on another date, but don't sit around waiting for him, or make him her only option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here. My take on this is that it isn’t the cancellation that’s the problem, it’s how he handled it. Think about it, if the situation were reversed and you had to cancel a third date with someone who’d purchased tickets and was half way out the door en route to the date, what would you do? Most likely, in addition to a text you would:

1. Call them on the phone to ensure they know what’s going on and express your sincere apology/ concern for bailing at the last minute;

2. Make a serious offer to make it up to them with an even more terrific date when you do get to see them; and

3. Follow through on Item 2.

If you don’t really care all that much about developing a relationship with this person, then perhaps these things don’t matter much. But I think they do matter if you are hoping the relationship will be heading somewhere.

+1 This guy did none of those things. OP should move on.

Yep the guy messed up. He should have just ghosted.

Bingo. And the PP defending the OP is batshit too. They are perfect examples of the crazies in the dating pool here.

I didn’t say the guy “messed up.” I aminficeying that his behavior when canceling indicates he’s not into it. That’s all. Get the chip off your shoulder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here. My take on this is that it isn’t the cancellation that’s the problem, it’s how he handled it. Think about it, if the situation were reversed and you had to cancel a third date with someone who’d purchased tickets and was half way out the door en route to the date, what would you do? Most likely, in addition to a text you would:

1. Call them on the phone to ensure they know what’s going on and express your sincere apology/ concern for bailing at the last minute;

2. Make a serious offer to make it up to them with an even more terrific date when you do get to see them; and

3. Follow through on Item 2.

If you don’t really care all that much about developing a relationship with this person, then perhaps these things don’t matter much. But I think they do matter if you are hoping the relationship will be heading somewhere.

+1 This guy did none of those things. OP should move on.

Yep the guy messed up. He should have just ghosted.

Bingo. And the PP defending the OP is batshit too. They are perfect examples of the crazies in the dating pool here.

I didn’t say the guy “messed up.” I aminficeying that his behavior when canceling indicates he’s not into it. That’s all. Get the chip off your shoulder.

^*I am saying*

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here- I havent heard back from him since that text last night! I’d think if someone was sincerely apologetic, they would have reached out by now!

OMG. He's been busy with his kids, maybe mom worked overnight, maybe he took his kids out for breakfast, maybe he's exhausted and sleeping in, or he had AM plans with someone else and is busy.

You sound very high maintenance for someone he's been out with twice. I hate when men cancel on me, but I don't expect them to constantly grovel and apologize. You're obsessing over him far more than he is over you.

If he cancels again, move on, but for now just chill.

It literally takes 2 minutes to text!

What's he supposed to do? Apologize yet again? How many apologies does OP need?

He's likely waiting until they can have an actual conversation about re-scheduling. It'll be easier if they just talk on the phone about their schedules and when they can go again.

[Anonymous]

Did you ever reply to his last text?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here! I texted no worries as I didnt want to sound batshit and this was his response: ‘ I’m so so sorry I’ve been dying to see that movie 😫 let me know about the tickets I’m happy to pay for them since I’m the asshole right now 😞‘

I don’t know why but this annoys me even more ! It sounds possibly legit... But...’I'm dying to see that movie, instead of I was really looking forward to spending time with you.’

I don’t know if I should call him out on it, Im just annoyed and won’t even text back tonight til I have my emotions on check as I really liked him and now its looking like it might not work out

Lady it’s the 4th date. Chill out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here! I texted no worries as I didnt want to sound batshit and this was his response: ‘ I’m so so sorry I’ve been dying to see that movie 😫 let me know about the tickets I’m happy to pay for them since I’m the asshole right now 😞‘

I don’t know why but this annoys me even more ! It sounds possibly legit... But...’I'm dying to see that movie, instead of I was really looking forward to spending time with you.’

I don’t know if I should call him out on it, Im just annoyed and won’t even text back tonight til I have my emotions on check as I really liked him and now its looking like it might not work out

Lady it’s the 4th date. Chill out.

Sorry, 3rd, which makes it even sillier that you’re this invested. Just move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here- I havent heard back from him since that text last night! I’d think if someone was sincerely apologetic, they would have reached out by now!

OP, trust your gut on this. Some people (obviously quite a few on this thread) will say you are “batshit” for having very normal feelings about (1) whether this guy is even telling the truth, and (2) even if he is (totally understand kids come first) is he expressing a level of consideration you expect from others? You are entitled to have reasonable standards. If this situation is making you feel not so great, trust you gut and move on. I say this as someone who had something very similar happen early on. I continued to date him anyway, and it only got worse (much worse), not better. Should have cut it off when I knew this wasn’t going to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here- I havent heard back from him since that text last night! I’d think if someone was sincerely apologetic, they would have reached out by now!

OMG. He's been busy with his kids, maybe mom worked overnight, maybe he took his kids out for breakfast, maybe he's exhausted and sleeping in, or he had AM plans with someone else and is busy.

You sound very high maintenance for someone he's been out with twice. I hate when men cancel on me, but I don't expect them to constantly grovel and apologize. You're obsessing over him far more than he is over you.

If he cancels again, move on, but for now just chill.

Nah, this isn’t about OP being high maintenance. Dude is up to no good and I highly doubt he was being truthful about his reasons for canceling. OP senses that and it’s upsetting. Sadly, in today’s dating world, especially on the apps, there are lots of men (boys) who make up elaborate tales to try and cover their BS. My guess is this dude is still married or he’s not and another date option became available.