DH works long hours for meager pay

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leaving at 6pm isn’t really late but he is underpaid. Is he at a nonprofit or something? He should quit.

He leaves at 6 to commute home to work more. He is at a non-profit. We need his income.

What kind of a non-profit? Even if he wants to do mission-driven work, could he move to something like an association or federal or state agency with better pay?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is his career field?

Actually job is writer/editor. Industry (if you can call it that) is foreign policy. I would love for him to look outside this realm, but I’m not going to push overly hard in that direction.

So non profit think tank or free lance or teaching/lecturing or if you’re extroverted white books, speak the circuit and be a Fellow somewhere. Either way it’s usually wealthy people type job and path. All those poly sci and Intl relations majors….

Yup. I know. I never expected him to make big law money, but I do expect him to pull his weight. I’m just trying to avoid falling behind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a shortage of teachers. What field did your spouse get his masters in?

What’s the point of going from one 65K job to another?

Well, if he got a teaching job he would have summers off, so there's that.
He could either pick up more slack around the house during the summer or get a summer gig to make more money

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry you lost me completely with 7pm. I actually laughed.

Good for you that your spouse has an even worse job. I hope it pays more. If his job paid more I wouldn’t be so angry because at least it would be worth it.

He works 6.5 days per week. Pre-pandemic he travelled 50% of the time. He is on the phone / emails from when he wakes to when he sleeps.
Try living with that and co-parenting. You can literally never be ill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry you lost me completely with 7pm. I actually laughed.

Good for you that your spouse has an even worse job. I hope it pays more. If his job paid more I wouldn’t be so angry because at least it would be worth it.

He works 6.5 days per week. Pre-pandemic he travelled 50% of the time. He is on the phone / emails from when he wakes to when he sleeps.
Try living with that and co-parenting. You can literally never be ill.

And how much does he make?

[Anonymous]

Since he is having trouble finding a job, honestly I think he should talk to his boss and work 9 to 5, 5 days a week. Seriously, then he would have time to spend with family and look for another job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since he is having trouble finding a job, honestly I think he should talk to his boss and work 9 to 5, 5 days a week. Seriously, then he would have time to spend with family and look for another job.

His boss run his office like a kingdom and there is (according to my husband) no room for dissent. His boss won’t even do Smart Benefits so that he can get his public transportation pre-tax.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where are you posting from? How can he not find a job at this time? Employers are offering sign-on bonuses, closing bc they don't have staff, you name it.
What industry?

Yes, you both can wallow in your pity party. You deserve to, BUT the important thing is you make a change. Pity parties are only a pit stop. You need to get get moving. Complaing about it doesn't do any good

+1. Yep, vent away, OP, but you created this situation too when you bought a house that didn't give you any financial wiggle room. If you want a different reality, you've got to figure it out together.

Is it that hard for you to be kind???

Shame on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you ramp up and he can go PT or be a SAHD?

I’m kind of topped out where I am and he can’t go PT. We just bought a house, so we can’t take any step back in terms of pay.

Sounds like you are living beyond your means. You can’t make it work with two kids on $130k? Do you live in Manhattan? We lived on $110k in a desirable DC hood in a nice apartment. Why did you buy a house knowing it would lock him into this job? I just have a hard time having sympathy for people who pretend they are trapped but they have made 1,000 bad choices. You bought a HOUSE, probably have multiple cars, and spend in other ways you shouldn’t and then act like a victim that you don’t get a break. You all make freakin’ $190k/year. That is PLENTY.

Our salaries need to be spread more evenly on the off chance that something happens to either one of our jobs. As for my HOUSE (as you put it) we are talking 1100 sq ft above grade, not some McMansion. We have one car. We take busses and metro to work. I guess my Netflix account is an extravagance to you. We also save for retirement. I’m sure that seems like a bad investment. We should spend every cent we make now.

How much did you spend on your home? Not sure why you’re making up excuses now. It’s fine if one partner makes more. Do either of you have a history of getting fired? This seems like extreme caution when the solution lays in front of you. You don’t want a solution. You want to be a martyr.

[Anonymous]

You said he's a writer/editor. Does he have any data and research and analytical skills or experience in the real world (beyond writing papers for his poli sci courses in school or research methods course)? I think writing and editing without something "technical" is what is hurting him. if he has some analytical and stats and research skills, he could be easily making around 85 or 90k.

[Anonymous]

Also, does he have any experience managing people or publications? He could make more as a managing editor or editorial manager with people under him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you ramp up and he can go PT or be a SAHD?

I’m kind of topped out where I am and he can’t go PT. We just bought a house, so we can’t take any step back in terms of pay.

It sounds like your frustration isn’t new. Why on Earth did you buy a house?

Because two grown adults + kids in 800 sq ft condo with no outdoor space is only going to work for a year or two (maybe!) more before we would have had to find a bigger place anyway. If I had bought three years ago when I felt similarly constrained, we would have been in a better position than we are now. The housing keeps getting more expensive, I only hope my salary can grow a little (not leaps and bounds) to make this work.

Boo boo an 800 sq ft condo! You may as well have moved to the slums of India! You people are out of touch and more than a little disgusting.

S/he says from her 4000 sq ft house.

LOL, I say from my 750 sq ft 2 br that I share with my 4yo and 2yo and DH.

Riiiiiiiiiiiiight.

I love that you think this can’t be true. You are a caricature of ignorance.

[Anonymous]

PP here..in other words does he have experience running the business/operations side of publishing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a shortage of teachers. What field did your spouse get his masters in?

He wouldn't get paid much more than he makes now as a teacher.

But better hours & likely summers off. So more time.

He could. DCPS teachers are pretty well paid.

[Anonymous]

Where do you live Op? I doubt it's in the DC area.