DH works long hours for meager pay

Anonymous
DH has been with the same employer for 10 years and makes $65k with a master’s degree (and the student loans to go with it). His boss works him like a dog and he doesn’t get home until 7pm and then he works some more. I am tired of having my weeknights held hostage and dealing with our preschool age kids, dog, and making dinner alone until he gets home after working a full day myself.

I am so resentful of this situation and feel that we never should have had kids while he works in this situation. I think I wouldn’t be so annoyed with his salary if he got home at 5:30 or 6, but 7 is just so late. He can’t leave work until 6pm. It’s just nuts. I make twice what he does.

I am so angry all the time.
Anonymous
How does he feel about his job?
Anonymous
Leaving at 6pm isn’t really late but he is underpaid. Is he at a nonprofit or something? He should quit.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:How does he feel about his job?

Burned out.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Leaving at 6pm isn’t really late but he is underpaid. Is he at a nonprofit or something? He should quit.

He leaves at 6 to commute home to work more. He is at a non-profit. We need his income.
Anonymous
Why does he stay in the same job?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Why does he stay in the same job?

He has been looking for the past few months but hasn’t even gotten a call back.
Anonymous
Exact same situation here, OP. At least your DH is looking. Mine will not, even though he’s burned out and underpaid.
Anonymous
Can you ramp up and he can go PT or be a SAHD?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Can you ramp up and he can go PT or be a SAHD?

I’m kind of topped out where I am and he can’t go PT. We just bought a house, so we can’t take any step back in terms of pay.
Anonymous
I was you OP. My DH was working 75 hour weeks for 8 years, coming home very late. I was a married single parent. I'm so glad he got fired. His new job pays more, and he does all the school pick up with his new schedule.

As hard as this sounds, you should find him a new job. After you mutually decide this life ain't workin
Anonymous
he needs to set boundaries with his boss. He does all the work that can fit into a standard 9-5 workday, and anything else gets postponed til the next day. If that’s such an imposition on his boss, boss can either hire more people or put in the work to fire DH and replace him. By far the most likely scenario is boss b*tches and moans but doesn’t do either of those things, the sky doesn’t fall and the world keeps turning.

I’m sure DH will be full of excuses as to why that can’t possibly work. Don’t accept any of them. The current situation isn’t sustainable.
Anonymous
I'm sorry you lost me completely with 7pm. I actually laughed.
Anonymous
Where are you posting from? How can he not find a job at this time? Employers are offering sign-on bonuses, closing bc they don't have staff, you name it.
What industry?

Yes, you both can wallow in your pity party. You deserve to, BUT the important thing is you make a change. Pity parties are only a pit stop. You need to get get moving. Complaing about it doesn't do any good
Anonymous
Is he a paralegal by chance?
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