The other side - being the sister my siblings are jealous of

[Anonymous]

I’m not impressed with ‘a lawyer and cpa’

They are a dime a dozen….big law partner and school teachers are admirable to me!

[Anonymous]

Hey OP ignore the insecure harpies around here…

I only have one sister and objectively someone from the outside would say I am more successful and happier and richer blah blah. You know what hurt the most, when my sister said “you’ve had it easy…stuff just comes to you, you don’t have to work hard.” I still think about that comment and it seriously makes me so sad / angry that she thinks that.

I work hard and planned my career and tried everything to get to where I am and while I didn’t talk about the obstacles, it doesn’t mean it was easy. I’m also not “happy” and living a perfect life but I am not allowed to “complain” because I’m objectively doing better.

It hurts, because I love my sister and support her and give her money and encourage her and offer advice when asked and I love laughing and spending time with her. But now at the back of mind I think about how she resents me and has this low view of my path.

[Anonymous]

Any actually well adjusted person would understand that someone else's jealousy is a reflection of their feelings about their own life. That's it. I just don't buy the idea that anyone is actually traumatized by someone else's jealousy because whenever someone has expressed jealousy towards me, my feeling has largely been one of empathy. Sometimes annoyance. But never hurt. It's a compliment, in it's own way. And in the end, it's not really about me at all.

I think the only time jealousy actually makes me feel bad is if I don't think I deserve whatever it is they are jealous about. That' the only time I feel this pang of defensiveness and resentment because I don't want them drawing attention to whatever the thing is. Like I felt this way back when I was in grad school sometimes. I got into a very competitive grad school program and pretty much the entire time I was there I felt like I didn't belong and like I'd been admitted by mistake. So when I'd encounter jealousy from other people about my "good fortune" in getting into that program, it hit way too close to home because I really did feel like I'd simply gotten lucky and had not earned it, and had taken a spot away from someone who earned it more. I have enough distance now to understand that I both earned it AND got lucky, that was true of everyone in that program, and that the secret is that no one really belongs anywhere and also anyone can belong everywhere. But I was young and insecure and didn't get that yet, and I viewed other people's jealousy as an indictment.

That's what OP and some of the rest of you sound like. You are mad at people who are struggling in their own lives and wish they had what you had. It makes no sense.

[Anonymous]

I think about how she resents me and has this low view of my path.

She is making a choice to frame her relationship with you like this. This is not about her having some kind of "view" of things and relationship the two of you have is a byproduct. What she isn't strong about is accepting herself, as she is. She should NOT want your life, anyone else's life. She should be happy with her own. And you too. No reason to think, for most people, that others would want your life (anyone else's life). It's obnoxious to think your life is more desirable. However your sister hasn't made this leap in her evolution.

[Anonymous]

OP, ignore the hateful posters and the hateful sisters. Keep being the bigger person.

If there is one thing I am really happy about, it is that I have two wonderful brothers and no sisters. Till date I have only seen woman whose sister was good to her. Otherwise, sisters are very nasty to each other and very competitive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's your bedroom workout? Genuinely curious.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sisters are more professionally successful but I am the only one who has maintained a regular exercise routine and healthy weight. We were all in the gifted program. I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs. But I do have other obsessions and compulsions. They just happen to be less visible and socially acceptable. Is that the case for you too, OP?

OP here, and no it's different within our dynamic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would you secretly work out in your bedroom? Why not include them? That is telling to me.

I shared a bedroom with my younger sister (I am the middle one), and when I first started working out, she would either throw things at me (which was funny at first, until she threw books and other heavy things at me) or kick my arms or feet out from under me. So I just started doing it when she wasn't around to bother me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you sound pretty awful and self-centered.

I agree. Ugh!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is like a humblebrag without the humble.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you secretly work out in your bedroom? Why not include them? That is telling to me.

I shared a bedroom with my younger sister (I am the middle one), and when I first started working out, she would either throw things at me (which was funny at first, until she threw books and other heavy things at me) or kick my arms or feet out from under me. So I just started doing it when she wasn't around to bother me.

Ouch! No wonder you were exercising when they were not there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would you secretly work out in your bedroom? Why not include them? That is telling to me.

NP. I noticed this too. A secret workout routine that she hid for years?? She obviously has been trying to appear perfect like she doesn’t need to work. Which is fine, but then don’t be annoyed when other people are jealous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you secretly work out in your bedroom? Why not include them? That is telling to me.

I shared a bedroom with my younger sister (I am the middle one), and when I first started working out, she would either throw things at me (which was funny at first, until she threw books and other heavy things at me) or kick my arms or feet out from under me. So I just started doing it when she wasn't around to bother me.

Ouch! No wonder you were exercising when they were not there.

Doesn’t explain why it’s a secret.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you secretly work out in your bedroom? Why not include them? That is telling to me.

I shared a bedroom with my younger sister (I am the middle one), and when I first started working out, she would either throw things at me (which was funny at first, until she threw books and other heavy things at me) or kick my arms or feet out from under me. So I just started doing it when she wasn't around to bother me.

Ouch! No wonder you were exercising when they were not there.

Doesn’t explain why it’s a secret.

IF YOU READ, she explains why. READ. It’s just a few posts up from yours, shrew.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, ignore the hateful posters and the hateful sisters. Keep being the bigger person.

If there is one thing I am really happy about, it is that I have two wonderful brothers and no sisters. Till date I have only seen woman whose sister was good to her. Otherwise, sisters are very nasty to each other and very competitive.

Not me and my sister. What would I do without her.