The other side - being the sister my siblings are jealous of

[Anonymous]

mega troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You clearly look down on your sisters. You should be ashamed of yourself; such a petty, miserable and unkind person you are OP.

I did not get that impression of the OP at all. The sisters sound like Neanderthals.

[Anonymous]

So I agree the tone is not great here, but I do get the point. My parents and siblings always say I’m the lucky one of the group and things have always just worked out for me, and how lucky for me compared to my brothers who had “bad luck” in life. I could also name several examples of why it’s not all just “things were handed to me” and not my brothers - whether that is me seeking out opportunities proactively, building relationships, etc. It’s always very much annoyed me that this has been the narrative and it’s let my brothers “off the hook” for trying at anything because it’s assumed to be just fate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You clearly look down on your sisters. You should be ashamed of yourself; such a petty, miserable and unkind person you are OP.

I did not get that impression of the OP at all. The sisters sound like Neanderthals.

+1

[Anonymous]

Not a sister-related situation, but I went to college with the cutest blonde girl, darling personality, big boobs, guys fell all over themselves to date her. Other girls Could. Not. Stand. Her. People are so, so quick to call one-in-million girls like this self centered, snobby, etc. because they just can’t handle the fact that another woman truly has it all. It’s unfair that these women get such cruel treatment form other women.

Your sisters suck, OP. I’m sorry for that. Find some confident friends to become your sisters by choice.

[Anonymous]

Sure, Jan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s a teacher, wow… how embarrassing… *eyeroll*

Grow up OP. I’m not sure if they’re jealous or if they just don’t like you because you don’t seem particularly likable.

NP. OP never said/implied that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tough crowd as always OP. Don't know why so many posters here have to be so mean. I am the middle of 3 sisters and it is not always easy to navigate. Only you know if your sibling relationship are worth saving.

Anyway, I hear you and feel bad for you. People often stink as demonstrated on this thread!

OP clearly gloats and flaunts her wealth and hasn't told us about the snide, somewhat catty remarks she makes to her sisters like "Oooh, I would never eat that piece of cake, it will make me fat, but you go ahead and eat whatever makes you happy, you only live once, LOLOL!" or "I'm just so fortunate DH and I have lucrative careers that allows to afford to serve filet mignon for dinner!" or "I'm glad we waited to have children because we can afford to take them on amazing vacations that they'll remember for a lifetime!"

DP. You're making a lot of assumptions. You don't know that OP is saying those things.

[Anonymous]

OP, both sisters have bachelor's degrees? And the teacher probably has a master's? You have a master's, as required for the CPA? Did your parents pay for everyone's college?

You all still live in proximity to each other?

As someone in a nearly identical family situation, I have a follow-up and advice, if you can answer the above first.

[Anonymous]

This is like a humblebrag without the humble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have two sisters (I'm the middle one), we were all given pretty and thin genetics. My sisters gossip about me and think I don't know. One has had temper tantrums about me and saying things aren't fair (we're all adults). I've seen some posts lately about people being jealous of their sisters. I wanted to share this because it shows the other side of things - my sisters think my life is perfect.

- All through middle and high school I worked out in my bedroom when my sister wasn't there to see. I developed a little workout routine and stuck to it for years. One sister has never worked out and complains about having no energy and is skinny-fat. The other sister half-heartedly works out every couple of months for a week or two and gets really into the clothes and equipment and then gives up, plus has a sweet tooth. They always tease me about having a secret personal trainer that I won't admit to. I don't have one. I just move my body every day, don't snack and don't like sweets.

- I had my friend group in HS, but also befriended the smart kids, and studied with them. Multiple times I used babysitting money to hire them to tutor me before midterms and finals to get good grades. I also got tutoring in college, and became a CPA at a big accounting firm. One sister majored in philosophy and is a SAHM and the other became an elementary school teacher. They alternately make fun of me for having a boring career or thinking i'm more important than they are because I can't attend every family gathering (sometimes I have to travel for work, which neither of them do).

- We all have either two or three kids. DH and I purposely waited until our mid 30's to have kids. We talked a lot about what kind of parents we wanted to be and what was important to us in raising kids. We care a lot about having kind and well behaved kids, and will take them outside if their behavior goes south. Both my sisters had kids in their 20's and expressed jealousy to my mom (who told me, which I wish she hadn't) that at my baby shower for my first, we were given really nice gifts. Probably because most guests were more established in their careers at our age, and DH and I are a lawyer and CPA, so our friends tend to be similar.

- If DH and I do anything nice for any one person in the family and my sisters find out they get very upset it wasn't done for them too. If we do anything they can't afford to do, they comment negatively on it even if they benefit from it, like when we served filet mignon for the first dinner we had all together after we were all vaccinated. Everyone was happy to eat it, and we only got it because it was a celebratory dinner, but I overheard my sisters commenting that of course we would make fancy steak. THey didn't care that we were hosting, they didn't bring anything or help clean up, and they ate and drank everything we served.

It is exhausting navigating around them. And they probably think I have no idea that they make so many comments.

As for the bolded, I hope you know that your toxic mother is telling them about how you look down on them. She is playing both sides, and you and your sisters are foolishily falling for this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also have two sisters and one of them sounds like OP; extremely competitive and constantly seeking validation for making what I think she wants to believe are the “right” life choices. All of us are successful and happy but doing different things with our lives. The sister that doesn’t do this and I are extremely close but the more competitive one has somewhat of a grating personality. We do love her but I wish she would just let her guards down sometimes and let go of the need to always be “winning”.

You’re here calling your sisters skinny fat and insinuating that they had kids too young and should have done what you did. Maybe these judgments aren’t as well hidden from them as you think they are. Even labeling yourself as the sister everyone is jealous of seems a bit presumptuous. I’m not convinced this attitude is entirely concealed in your interactions with them.

+1

I also notice OP seemed to imply that her sisters have only themselves to blame for not having as much money because one is a school teacher and the other became a SAHM after getting a graduate degree. I am a working mom and I make more than school teachers do, but I can't imagine talking about family members this way. I have teachers in my family and I have such admiration for what they do -- I brag on them all the time because I think it's so great they've decided to use their talents and effort in this way. And I also have SAHMs in my family and know they work hard and that choice was generally driven by a real love of being a mom and desire to do right by their kids. Just because society doesn't reward these endeavors the same way it rewards a corporate accountant is not something to act superior about.

And I say that as someone with a well-paying, corporate job who has a sister who is a SAHM and who complains about money. We don't have an amazing relationship for other reasons, but I would never talk sh*t about her choice to be a SAHM. She is a great mom.

I have sympathy for op because I've seen this dynamic in my family and in my dh's. Dh was quiet and studious and worked very hard and got into a great college and worked his ass off when he got his job post college. He has been very successful and had a brother who was a party boy who never studied and barely graduated from his college. He found a blue collar job that worked for his lifestyle and allowed him to party all the time. He and a sister didn't value education at all. They both resented every penny my dh made and everything he ever bought even though dh was miserly with money and saved like a maniac. Dh worked 12-14 hour days on very stressful projects. They would insult him at every turn at family get togethers and I was surprised the parents never admonished them. They were all very blue collar at the core and instead of being proud of him they resented him rising above. They also regularly expected him to give them money whenever they screwed up and got dwis or whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
+1

I also notice OP seemed to imply that her sisters have only themselves to blame for not having as much money because one is a school teacher and the other became a SAHM after getting a graduate degree. I am a working mom and I make more than school teachers do, but I can't imagine talking about family members this way. I have teachers in my family and I have such admiration for what they do -- I brag on them all the time because I think it's so great they've decided to use their talents and effort in this way. And I also have SAHMs in my family and know they work hard and that choice was generally driven by a real love of being a mom and desire to do right by their kids. Just because society doesn't reward these endeavors the same way it rewards a corporate accountant is not something to act superior about.

And I say that as someone with a well-paying, corporate job who has a sister who is a SAHM and who complains about money. We don't have an amazing relationship for other reasons, but I would never talk sh*t about her choice to be a SAHM. She is a great mom.

Did I miss the reference to the non-teacher having a master's?

As for teacher, why do we act like teachers are all in the poor house? Unless you really want to be a lifelong teacher, it's easy to job hop into administration and make $100k to $300k a year. Even if you don't enter admin ladder, a veteran teacher makes over $100k a year including fringe plus a great pension.

[Anonymous]

I do not care about OP’s point, because sisters are never this black and white, I’m just putting this out there for whoever needs to hear it:

I am a sister and I am the mother to sisters. A sister’s primary job is TO BE ANNOYING. I wish this was not the case, but it seems to be so, even into adulthood. And it goes both ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tough crowd as always OP. Don't know why so many posters here have to be so mean. I am the middle of 3 sisters and it is not always easy to navigate. Only you know if your sibling relationship are worth saving.

Anyway, I hear you and feel bad for you. People often stink as demonstrated on this thread!

OP clearly gloats and flaunts her wealth and hasn't told us about the snide, somewhat catty remarks she makes to her sisters like "Oooh, I would never eat that piece of cake, it will make me fat, but you go ahead and eat whatever makes you happy, you only live once, LOLOL!" or "I'm just so fortunate DH and I have lucrative careers that allows to afford to serve filet mignon for dinner!" or "I'm glad we waited to have children because we can afford to take them on amazing vacations that they'll remember for a lifetime!"

DP. You're making a lot of assumptions. You don't know that OP is saying those things.

She hasn't denied it.