Reply to The other side - being the sister my siblings are jealous of

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[quote=Anonymous]Any actually well adjusted person would understand that someone else's jealousy is a reflection of their feelings about their own life. That's it. I just don't buy the idea that anyone is actually traumatized by someone else's jealousy because whenever someone has expressed jealousy towards me, my feeling has largely been one of empathy. Sometimes annoyance. But never hurt. It's a compliment, in it's own way. And in the end, it's not really about me at all.

I think the only time jealousy actually makes me feel bad is if I don't think I deserve whatever it is they are jealous about. That' the only time I feel this pang of defensiveness and resentment because I don't want them drawing attention to whatever the thing is. Like I felt this way back when I was in grad school sometimes. I got into a very competitive grad school program and pretty much the entire time I was there I felt like I didn't belong and like I'd been admitted by mistake. So when I'd encounter jealousy from other people about my "good fortune" in getting into that program, it hit way too close to home because I really did feel like I'd simply gotten lucky and had not earned it, and had taken a spot away from someone who earned it more. I have enough distance now to understand that I both earned it AND got lucky, that was true of everyone in that program, and that the secret is that no one really belongs anywhere and also anyone can belong everywhere. But I was young and insecure and didn't get that yet, and I viewed other people's jealousy as an indictment.

That's what OP and some of the rest of you sound like. You are mad at people who are struggling in their own lives and wish they had what you had. It makes no sense.[/quote]

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