Why do some people have to compromise but others don’t?

[Anonymous]

I have girlfriends who literally seem to have married men who are too good to be true. Handsome. Super successful. Wealthy. With great personalities who treat their wives so well. These women are so so happy and thankful. They got really really lucky!

I also know other women who didn’t get lucky at all. Some who are perpetually single and others who very obviously settled for good enough men so they wouldn’t be alone. Why no love for these women?

[Anonymous]

Cause everybody’s life plays out differently.

[Anonymous]

And a lot of it has to do with what you expect. Not what you claim to want, but what you truly deep down expect to receive.

[Anonymous]

Because not everything is as it appears to outsiders. Everyone compromises somewhere. Everyone.

[Anonymous]

I got lucky like that. My husband does well financially but more than that, he treats me like a princess. He takes care of all the small unpleasant details in life (from taxes and bills to travel details to taking my car to get serviced. I never do any of that stuff. For instance we’re on a beach vacation and I’m sitting in the house nominally watching the kids watch tv while he breaks down the beach tent and chairs).

I’m the first to admit I got supremely lucky. He’s just a great, kind, hard working guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got lucky like that. My husband does well financially but more than that, he treats me like a princess. He takes care of all the small unpleasant details in life (from taxes and bills to travel details to taking my car to get serviced. I never do any of that stuff. For instance we’re on a beach vacation and I’m sitting in the house nominally watching the kids watch tv while he breaks down the beach tent and chairs).

I’m the first to admit I got supremely lucky. He’s just a great, kind, hard working guy.

So where did you compromise? It must be somewhere. No one is perfect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got lucky like that. My husband does well financially but more than that, he treats me like a princess. He takes care of all the small unpleasant details in life (from taxes and bills to travel details to taking my car to get serviced. I never do any of that stuff. For instance we’re on a beach vacation and I’m sitting in the house nominally watching the kids watch tv while he breaks down the beach tent and chairs).

I’m the first to admit I got supremely lucky. He’s just a great, kind, hard working guy.

So where did you compromise? It must be somewhere. No one is perfect.

Not PP but this could be a hard question to answer because what you may consider a compromise, she is fine with and doesn’t even view it that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got lucky like that. My husband does well financially but more than that, he treats me like a princess. He takes care of all the small unpleasant details in life (from taxes and bills to travel details to taking my car to get serviced. I never do any of that stuff. For instance we’re on a beach vacation and I’m sitting in the house nominally watching the kids watch tv while he breaks down the beach tent and chairs).

I’m the first to admit I got supremely lucky. He’s just a great, kind, hard working guy.

So where did you compromise? It must be somewhere. No one is perfect.

Not sure because I don’t think I did. I got married at 24. No one settles at that age gets or bothers to get married if they’re not madly in love, lol.

I recently posted on another board about a different topic but anyway it cane up that my DH gets our kids breakfast in the morning during the summer and let’s me sleep in (I’m a SAHM). People were outraged about it which surprised me. To me this is just a small, kind gesture that people who love each other do to be nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got lucky like that. My husband does well financially but more than that, he treats me like a princess. He takes care of all the small unpleasant details in life (from taxes and bills to travel details to taking my car to get serviced. I never do any of that stuff. For instance we’re on a beach vacation and I’m sitting in the house nominally watching the kids watch tv while he breaks down the beach tent and chairs).

I’m the first to admit I got supremely lucky. He’s just a great, kind, hard working guy.

So where did you compromise? It must be somewhere. No one is perfect.

I'm not pp but could have posted the same thing. The thing is, I don't feel like I compromised. Small things that may not be perfect don't bother me. It's the big stuff that matters and for those, DH checked.off every box. I'm extremely lucky.

[Anonymous]

Younger women usually see it as a compromise to be with a nice guy. They often go for guys who are bad boys or otherwise have some exciting component, which makes them bad marriage partners. Some women are smarter and can be attracted to the good guys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have girlfriends who literally seem to have married men who are too good to be true. Handsome. Super successful. Wealthy. With great personalities who treat their wives so well. These women are so so happy and thankful. They got really really lucky!

I also know other women who didn’t get lucky at all. Some who are perpetually single and others who very obviously settled for good enough men so they wouldn’t be alone. Why no love for these women?

I used to be married to a very wealthy man who was also cold. Our marriage was awful, though we wanted for nothing materially. He was good looking, successful, social, and was generally good to me. He didn't hit me or cheat on me. He wasn't a drug addict. He was nice to our child. But he wasn't warm. It wasn't a loving marriage.

Several years after we separated, I met the man I'm married to now. We rent an apartment and almost never travel because it's too expensive. He's overweight and is losing his hair. He's pretty introverted and doesn't like going to social stuff. But our marriage is amazing. He's so sweet to me and our child that none of the stuff that would seem like a compromise even matters to me. I would rather stay home with DH for the rest of time than go on every extravagant vacation my ex could dream up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got lucky like that. My husband does well financially but more than that, he treats me like a princess. He takes care of all the small unpleasant details in life (from taxes and bills to travel details to taking my car to get serviced. I never do any of that stuff. For instance we’re on a beach vacation and I’m sitting in the house nominally watching the kids watch tv while he breaks down the beach tent and chairs).

I’m the first to admit I got supremely lucky. He’s just a great, kind, hard working guy.

So where did you compromise? It must be somewhere. No one is perfect.

I'm not pp but could have posted the same thing. The thing is, I don't feel like I compromised. Small things that may not be perfect don't bother me. It's the big stuff that matters and for those, DH checked.off every box. I'm extremely lucky.

I'm also extremely lucky. I don't think I compromise on anything, but I also do things for my husband to make his life better. I would not like to feel like that was a one-way street.

[Anonymous]

Yeah no. Everyone has their own crosses to bear - whether they admit it to you or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have girlfriends who literally seem to have married men who are too good to be true. Handsome. Super successful. Wealthy. With great personalities who treat their wives so well. These women are so so happy and thankful. They got really really lucky!

I also know other women who didn’t get lucky at all. Some who are perpetually single and others who very obviously settled for good enough men so they wouldn’t be alone. Why no love for these women?

I used to be married to a very wealthy man who was also cold. Our marriage was awful, though we wanted for nothing materially. He was good looking, successful, social, and was generally good to me. He didn't hit me or cheat on me. He wasn't a drug addict. He was nice to our child. But he wasn't warm. It wasn't a loving marriage.

Several years after we separated, I met the man I'm married to now. We rent an apartment and almost never travel because it's too expensive. He's overweight and is losing his hair. He's pretty introverted and doesn't like going to social stuff. But our marriage is amazing. He's so sweet to me and our child that none of the stuff that would seem like a compromise even matters to me. I would rather stay home with DH for the rest of time than go on every extravagant vacation my ex could dream up.

This. Younger never married women would never touch this relationship. To their detriment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Younger women usually see it as a compromise to be with a nice guy. They often go for guys who are bad boys or otherwise have some exciting component, which makes them bad marriage partners. Some women are smarter and can be attracted to the good guys.