Women whose partner's make enough for them to stay home, why do you prefer working?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sole earner husband mostly works from home and is around and available as much as any working parent. The absentee-dad story is a myth that working moms tell. He will be retiring at 55.

The working moms see these men more often than their wives do. They know the truth. Situations like your husband’s are rare.

Oh come on, that’s not true and you know it. That’s like saying a teacher knows your kid better than you do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll go. DH and I both come from generational wealth and have worked for approx. 20 years (we are 43 and 45). I will continue to work for a million reasons but the highlights are:
- Genuinely love my job (big 4 consulting; I like the subject matter, my clients, and the substantive work).
- Continuing to build nest egg for my kids and not being the generation that drops the ball. Although I recognize that family money got us to where we are today (paid for education), I'd be embarrassed to be living on what we inherited rather than what we earn.
- The biggest one: my daughters and, to a lesser extent, my young female colleagues. I am beyond disappointed by my friends who are smarter, better educated, and (formerly) higher earning than their husbands but who have chosen to SAH. I fight the gender battle every. single. day. at work and I don't think these women appreciate the larger repercussions of their decisions. They make hiring, retention, and promotion SO much harder for their daughters when they embody the stereotypes/expectations that I am always fighting against. At this point most of my friends are no longer working or have "mom" jobs (self-employed consultants, tutors, etc.), and maybe I am crazy but I hate that my young daughters are growing up in a world where they see that, where they unconsciously internalize it and what it may mean about them, and where in the workforce they will have to battle expectations not that different from what my mom fought in the 80s. That is insane to me, and it is really difficult for me to understand how my friends don't see that and what sort of example/precedent they are setting.
- I hate cooking, gardening, and cleaning, and having a job gives me an excuse to outsource them.
- Prestige. This is probably a DC/NY/SF-specific thing, but it makes me very proud to tell people my job. I especially love watching men who completely underestimate me, and saying something snappy to the (typically older) women who rudely check in all the time to see if I am still working. They are ALL expecting that at some point I'm going to cave and join my friends, which I guess gets back to the point above about feeling like those of us working are trying to carry the mantle for our daughters.

I get that in a Barbie world, it would be liberating for women to have the choice whether to remain in or leave the workforce. But men aren't doing it; so until they are, all the women doing it -- even those who feel like they have "earned it" or like it is temporary or for their kids -- disappoint me. And don't get me started on the women who are staying at home to raise the next female CEO/president -- unless they are idiots, they are lying to themselves if they don't see that this is a self-perpetuating cycle.

Lol. You’re working so…your daughters and her friends might not internalize that they too can make choice to stay at home? How about recognizing the autonomy of your fellow women to make the best choices for her and for her family? I hate when feminism gets twisted into the morality of mandatory paid employment. Gross.

Perhaps PP is extreme, but we have teenagers and you would be shocked when teenagers say their SAHM is "unemployed" or "doesn't have a job". I don't know if they realize their mom was some high-powered whatever, but it comes across as pretty demeaning.

Why would I have a problem with my teen saying I don’t have a job? How is that demeaning? It’s the truth. Other teens don’t need to hear about my prior career.

Great...I hope you are also fine if your DH describes you as "unemployed" to his friends as well. No problem, right? It's the truth, right?

BTW, I assume you make casual conversation with your teen and their friends, no? This isn't being said to other teens, it's said to everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll go. DH and I both come from generational wealth and have worked for approx. 20 years (we are 43 and 45). I will continue to work for a million reasons but the highlights are:
- Genuinely love my job (big 4 consulting; I like the subject matter, my clients, and the substantive work).
- Continuing to build nest egg for my kids and not being the generation that drops the ball. Although I recognize that family money got us to where we are today (paid for education), I'd be embarrassed to be living on what we inherited rather than what we earn.
- The biggest one: my daughters and, to a lesser extent, my young female colleagues. I am beyond disappointed by my friends who are smarter, better educated, and (formerly) higher earning than their husbands but who have chosen to SAH. I fight the gender battle every. single. day. at work and I don't think these women appreciate the larger repercussions of their decisions. They make hiring, retention, and promotion SO much harder for their daughters when they embody the stereotypes/expectations that I am always fighting against. At this point most of my friends are no longer working or have "mom" jobs (self-employed consultants, tutors, etc.), and maybe I am crazy but I hate that my young daughters are growing up in a world where they see that, where they unconsciously internalize it and what it may mean about them, and where in the workforce they will have to battle expectations not that different from what my mom fought in the 80s. That is insane to me, and it is really difficult for me to understand how my friends don't see that and what sort of example/precedent they are setting.
- I hate cooking, gardening, and cleaning, and having a job gives me an excuse to outsource them.
- Prestige. This is probably a DC/NY/SF-specific thing, but it makes me very proud to tell people my job. I especially love watching men who completely underestimate me, and saying something snappy to the (typically older) women who rudely check in all the time to see if I am still working. They are ALL expecting that at some point I'm going to cave and join my friends, which I guess gets back to the point above about feeling like those of us working are trying to carry the mantle for our daughters.

I get that in a Barbie world, it would be liberating for women to have the choice whether to remain in or leave the workforce. But men aren't doing it; so until they are, all the women doing it -- even those who feel like they have "earned it" or like it is temporary or for their kids -- disappoint me. And don't get me started on the women who are staying at home to raise the next female CEO/president -- unless they are idiots, they are lying to themselves if they don't see that this is a self-perpetuating cycle.

Lol. You’re working so…your daughters and her friends might not internalize that they too can make choice to stay at home? How about recognizing the autonomy of your fellow women to make the best choices for her and for her family? I hate when feminism gets twisted into the morality of mandatory paid employment. Gross.

Until men start becoming a SAHD, it’s not the choice and autonomy you say it is.

It absolutely is a choice if both spouses in the marriage can make the finances work, and yes, I’ve had close friends who are SAHDs. It’s unusual but they exist. Where have you been??

Nothing you said contradicts what I said. Yes I know SAHDs. My husband was one when our kids were younger. That means I was (and am) the breadwinner and I worked with plenty of resentful dudes who absolutely did not think they had the same choices as their wives.

You wrote “until men start becoming a SAHD.” That’s been happening for well over a decade now. How does that not contradict you? People make different choices. Might not be one you would make, but don’t discount the ability of others to weigh the pros and cons and make those calls for themselves in a perfectly educated and competent way.

You can find exceptions to everything. You said it yourself SAHDs are rare. So rare that it says that men don’t have meaningful choice. (Maybe you didn’t read when you said that my husband was a SAHD?) Maybe you think because we can each identify a few that means men have meaningful choice? I disagree with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll go. DH and I both come from generational wealth and have worked for approx. 20 years (we are 43 and 45). I will continue to work for a million reasons but the highlights are:
- Genuinely love my job (big 4 consulting; I like the subject matter, my clients, and the substantive work).
- Continuing to build nest egg for my kids and not being the generation that drops the ball. Although I recognize that family money got us to where we are today (paid for education), I'd be embarrassed to be living on what we inherited rather than what we earn.
- The biggest one: my daughters and, to a lesser extent, my young female colleagues. I am beyond disappointed by my friends who are smarter, better educated, and (formerly) higher earning than their husbands but who have chosen to SAH. I fight the gender battle every. single. day. at work and I don't think these women appreciate the larger repercussions of their decisions. They make hiring, retention, and promotion SO much harder for their daughters when they embody the stereotypes/expectations that I am always fighting against. At this point most of my friends are no longer working or have "mom" jobs (self-employed consultants, tutors, etc.), and maybe I am crazy but I hate that my young daughters are growing up in a world where they see that, where they unconsciously internalize it and what it may mean about them, and where in the workforce they will have to battle expectations not that different from what my mom fought in the 80s. That is insane to me, and it is really difficult for me to understand how my friends don't see that and what sort of example/precedent they are setting.
- I hate cooking, gardening, and cleaning, and having a job gives me an excuse to outsource them.
- Prestige. This is probably a DC/NY/SF-specific thing, but it makes me very proud to tell people my job. I especially love watching men who completely underestimate me, and saying something snappy to the (typically older) women who rudely check in all the time to see if I am still working. They are ALL expecting that at some point I'm going to cave and join my friends, which I guess gets back to the point above about feeling like those of us working are trying to carry the mantle for our daughters.

I get that in a Barbie world, it would be liberating for women to have the choice whether to remain in or leave the workforce. But men aren't doing it; so until they are, all the women doing it -- even those who feel like they have "earned it" or like it is temporary or for their kids -- disappoint me. And don't get me started on the women who are staying at home to raise the next female CEO/president -- unless they are idiots, they are lying to themselves if they don't see that this is a self-perpetuating cycle.

Lol. You’re working so…your daughters and her friends might not internalize that they too can make choice to stay at home? How about recognizing the autonomy of your fellow women to make the best choices for her and for her family? I hate when feminism gets twisted into the morality of mandatory paid employment. Gross.

Perhaps PP is extreme, but we have teenagers and you would be shocked when teenagers say their SAHM is "unemployed" or "doesn't have a job". I don't know if they realize their mom was some high-powered whatever, but it comes across as pretty demeaning.

Why would I have a problem with my teen saying I don’t have a job? How is that demeaning? It’s the truth. Other teens don’t need to hear about my prior career.

Great...I hope you are also fine if your DH describes you as "unemployed" to his friends as well. No problem, right? It's the truth, right?

BTW, I assume you make casual conversation with your teen and their friends, no? This isn't being said to other teens, it's said to everyone.

It’s the truth. Im honestly not following why you think I would have a problem with “unemployed.” I don’t get my self worth from a job, and I don’t find that demeaning. I think you would only take it that way if you think somehow people have more value from paid employment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sole earner husband mostly works from home and is around and available as much as any working parent. The absentee-dad story is a myth that working moms tell. He will be retiring at 55.

The working moms see these men more often than their wives do. They know the truth. Situations like your husband’s are rare.

Oh come on, that’s not true and you know it. That’s like saying a teacher knows your kid better than you do.[/quote]

Sometimes they do

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll go. DH and I both come from generational wealth and have worked for approx. 20 years (we are 43 and 45). I will continue to work for a million reasons but the highlights are:
- Genuinely love my job (big 4 consulting; I like the subject matter, my clients, and the substantive work).
- Continuing to build nest egg for my kids and not being the generation that drops the ball. Although I recognize that family money got us to where we are today (paid for education), I'd be embarrassed to be living on what we inherited rather than what we earn.
- The biggest one: my daughters and, to a lesser extent, my young female colleagues. I am beyond disappointed by my friends who are smarter, better educated, and (formerly) higher earning than their husbands but who have chosen to SAH. I fight the gender battle every. single. day. at work and I don't think these women appreciate the larger repercussions of their decisions. They make hiring, retention, and promotion SO much harder for their daughters when they embody the stereotypes/expectations that I am always fighting against. At this point most of my friends are no longer working or have "mom" jobs (self-employed consultants, tutors, etc.), and maybe I am crazy but I hate that my young daughters are growing up in a world where they see that, where they unconsciously internalize it and what it may mean about them, and where in the workforce they will have to battle expectations not that different from what my mom fought in the 80s. That is insane to me, and it is really difficult for me to understand how my friends don't see that and what sort of example/precedent they are setting.
- I hate cooking, gardening, and cleaning, and having a job gives me an excuse to outsource them.
- Prestige. This is probably a DC/NY/SF-specific thing, but it makes me very proud to tell people my job. I especially love watching men who completely underestimate me, and saying something snappy to the (typically older) women who rudely check in all the time to see if I am still working. They are ALL expecting that at some point I'm going to cave and join my friends, which I guess gets back to the point above about feeling like those of us working are trying to carry the mantle for our daughters.

I get that in a Barbie world, it would be liberating for women to have the choice whether to remain in or leave the workforce. But men aren't doing it; so until they are, all the women doing it -- even those who feel like they have "earned it" or like it is temporary or for their kids -- disappoint me. And don't get me started on the women who are staying at home to raise the next female CEO/president -- unless they are idiots, they are lying to themselves if they don't see that this is a self-perpetuating cycle.

Lol. You’re working so…your daughters and her friends might not internalize that they too can make choice to stay at home? How about recognizing the autonomy of your fellow women to make the best choices for her and for her family? I hate when feminism gets twisted into the morality of mandatory paid employment. Gross.

Perhaps PP is extreme, but we have teenagers and you would be shocked when teenagers say their SAHM is "unemployed" or "doesn't have a job". I don't know if they realize their mom was some high-powered whatever, but it comes across as pretty demeaning.

Why would I have a problem with my teen saying I don’t have a job? How is that demeaning? It’s the truth. Other teens don’t need to hear about my prior career.

Great...I hope you are also fine if your DH describes you as "unemployed" to his friends as well. No problem, right? It's the truth, right?

BTW, I assume you make casual conversation with your teen and their friends, no? This isn't being said to other teens, it's said to everyone.

I used to work a high paid investment banking job in NYC. My teen knows how much I struggled and missed him when he was a baby, how I tried to get home before he went to sleep and usually missed his bedtime. He knows that his dad has a demanding job and how I was always the one to drive him to school and activities. He knows I stayed home with his little brother and sister.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll go. DH and I both come from generational wealth and have worked for approx. 20 years (we are 43 and 45). I will continue to work for a million reasons but the highlights are:
- Genuinely love my job (big 4 consulting; I like the subject matter, my clients, and the substantive work).
- Continuing to build nest egg for my kids and not being the generation that drops the ball. Although I recognize that family money got us to where we are today (paid for education), I'd be embarrassed to be living on what we inherited rather than what we earn.
- The biggest one: my daughters and, to a lesser extent, my young female colleagues. I am beyond disappointed by my friends who are smarter, better educated, and (formerly) higher earning than their husbands but who have chosen to SAH. I fight the gender battle every. single. day. at work and I don't think these women appreciate the larger repercussions of their decisions. They make hiring, retention, and promotion SO much harder for their daughters when they embody the stereotypes/expectations that I am always fighting against. At this point most of my friends are no longer working or have "mom" jobs (self-employed consultants, tutors, etc.), and maybe I am crazy but I hate that my young daughters are growing up in a world where they see that, where they unconsciously internalize it and what it may mean about them, and where in the workforce they will have to battle expectations not that different from what my mom fought in the 80s. That is insane to me, and it is really difficult for me to understand how my friends don't see that and what sort of example/precedent they are setting.
- I hate cooking, gardening, and cleaning, and having a job gives me an excuse to outsource them.
- Prestige. This is probably a DC/NY/SF-specific thing, but it makes me very proud to tell people my job. I especially love watching men who completely underestimate me, and saying something snappy to the (typically older) women who rudely check in all the time to see if I am still working. They are ALL expecting that at some point I'm going to cave and join my friends, which I guess gets back to the point above about feeling like those of us working are trying to carry the mantle for our daughters.

I get that in a Barbie world, it would be liberating for women to have the choice whether to remain in or leave the workforce. But men aren't doing it; so until they are, all the women doing it -- even those who feel like they have "earned it" or like it is temporary or for their kids -- disappoint me. And don't get me started on the women who are staying at home to raise the next female CEO/president -- unless they are idiots, they are lying to themselves if they don't see that this is a self-perpetuating cycle.

Lol. You’re working so…your daughters and her friends might not internalize that they too can make choice to stay at home? How about recognizing the autonomy of your fellow women to make the best choices for her and for her family? I hate when feminism gets twisted into the morality of mandatory paid employment. Gross.

Until men start becoming a SAHD, it’s not the choice and autonomy you say it is.

It absolutely is a choice if both spouses in the marriage can make the finances work, and yes, I’ve had close friends who are SAHDs. It’s unusual but they exist. Where have you been??

Nothing you said contradicts what I said. Yes I know SAHDs. My husband was one when our kids were younger. That means I was (and am) the breadwinner and I worked with plenty of resentful dudes who absolutely did not think they had the same choices as their wives.

You wrote “until men start becoming a SAHD.” That’s been happening for well over a decade now. How does that not contradict you? People make different choices. Might not be one you would make, but don’t discount the ability of others to weigh the pros and cons and make those calls for themselves in a perfectly educated and competent way.

You can find exceptions to everything. You said it yourself SAHDs are rare. So rare that it says that men don’t have meaningful choice. (Maybe you didn’t read when you said that my husband was a SAHD?) Maybe you think because we can each identify a few that means men have meaningful choice? I disagree with that.

That’s not at all what “rare” implies. Men and women are different and make different choices. We see that in choices of majors/careers, and we see that in lifestyle decisions as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Almost every woman who works is doing so for money. They may be able to pay the bills on their husband’s paycheck, but they still want and need their salary. For some even wealthy women it could mean not employing a nanny, not having a second home, etc. Or it’s because it’s difficult to quit a high earning job Most people would quit their job if their employer stopped paying them.

Plenty of women have seemingly convinced themselves that there are other reasons they are working, but the #1 reason is money. That’s all it boils down to. Very few people would work for free.

My job is fairly interesting and I don’t mind it. It’s high earning and allows me to employ a fantastic nanny. I find watching young kids 24-7 rather difficult. But if I won the lottery? I’d never return to work, would retain my nanny and would enjoy my hobbies and socializing.

The funny thing about this claim is that many rich women do indeed work.

Yep! And the number 1 thing money buys is opportunities- for you, for your family, and for your kids. More money = more opportunities

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

You have sophomoric understanding of economics and history with respect to the workforce and inflation and psychology for that matter.

Well thank goodness there are experts among us... I thought this was an opinion site. What I know is that there has been a cultural shift during my lifetime, completing devaluing the work I did for a decade as a SAHM. Most friends say they cannot afford NOT to work, and many people wish they could stay at home longer with young children. Why shouldn' they have that choice? It is nice to have a job again so people don't just write me off...and so my kids see they have choices & options. But it is going to be on my terms if we don't need the income. Some of the PP are using themselves & their kids as martyrs to pave a path forward that features women being "successful" in what they consider "high-powered" jobs -- male-dominated industries that operate according to all the old rules. That's what I think feminism has done. And that would be fine if we were DINKS. Enjoy that grind if you like it, but don't be a martyr on my girls' account. I want them to know it is perfectly OK to opt out of the paid workforce to care for others, if that works best family-wise, and then step back in as they see fit. This craziness where everyone works FT b/c of their high earning potential and everything kid-related is hired out? Not something I want to model for my kiddos.

+1. All of this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You have sophomoric understanding of economics and history with respect to the workforce and inflation and psychology for that matter.

Well thank goodness there are experts among us... I thought this was an opinion site. What I know is that there has been a cultural shift during my lifetime, completing devaluing the work I did for a decade as a SAHM. Most friends say they cannot afford NOT to work, and many people wish they could stay at home longer with young children. Why shouldn' they have that choice? It is nice to have a job again so people don't just write me off...and so my kids see they have choices & options. But it is going to be on my terms if we don't need the income. Some of the PP are using themselves & their kids as martyrs to pave a path forward that features women being "successful" in what they consider "high-powered" jobs -- male-dominated industries that operate according to all the old rules. That's what I think feminism has done. And that would be fine if we were DINKS. Enjoy that grind if you like it, but don't be a martyr on my girls' account. I want them to know it is perfectly OK to opt out of the paid workforce to care for others, if that works best family-wise, and then step back in as they see fit. This craziness where everyone works FT b/c of their high earning potential and everything kid-related is hired out? Not something I want to model for my kiddos.

+1. All of this

Well said. I’m not raising my daughter to feel forced into maintaining employment if she doesn’t have to, simply for other hypothetical females. That’s not our family values and that’s not how I am raising her. If it works better for her to stay at home and they can afford it, then let that be their choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sole earner husband mostly works from home and is around and available as much as any working parent. The absentee-dad story is a myth that working moms tell. He will be retiring at 55.

OP started the thread because her husband was absent so there is that.

She didn’t say that in her OP at all. She said she found working and tending the home to be exhausting so she left.

She said it a few posts down from her OP. This thread started because OP doesn’t have a good husband or father to her children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sole earner husband mostly works from home and is around and available as much as any working parent. The absentee-dad story is a myth that working moms tell. He will be retiring at 55.

OP started the thread because her husband was absent so there is that.

She didn’t say that in her OP at all. She said she found working and tending the home to be exhausting so she left.

She said it a few posts down from her OP. This thread started because OP doesn’t have a good husband or father to her children.

Yes, and she also said things like no man can be as involved a father as a woman can be a mother. She either has some backwards upbringing and values, or she has a really really terrible DH. Or both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I used to work a high paid investment banking job in NYC. My teen knows how much I struggled and missed him when he was a baby, how I tried to get home before he went to sleep and usually missed his bedtime. He knows that his dad has a demanding job and how I was always the one to drive him to school and activities. He knows I stayed home with his little brother and sister.

OMG how do you not get it? The few of us to whom this thread was actually directed are saying that one of the reasons we work is so that your kids -- all three of them -- don't have to struggle like you did. So that one spouse being in "a demanding job" doesn't mean missing bedtimes or that that same spouse can't drive their kid to school most days and be there for activities. The cycle perpetuated by women electing to be the spouse to SAH over 95% of the time is creating preconceived expectations for your daughter AND your sons all of them will have to conform to or battle against. Those who think they are fortunate to have "choice" and "autonomy" to make that decision are blind to the systemic reasons leading to that choice and of the effect of their choice on the whole.

And as an aside, to PP who said men are much more sympathetic and understanding as to why women choose to stay home, you need to think long and hard about the incentives at play.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Everyone contributes to society, what's the difference between raising your children, caring for your parents and managing your household vs doing it for money as an employee?

For me it’s because once kids were in school there was not much “raising kids/caring for parents/managing household “ to do.

I’m always surprised when people say this. I don’t think that my day to day changed that much when my youngest went to school. I just didn’t have my little buddy with me anymore.

I guess I don’t go to the zoo as much, but it’s not like I was spending hours a day playing CandyLand with a four year old before he went to school.

You don't think your day to day changed when you arent responsible for a human for most of the day? That's a huge difference to me!

I’m still ultimately responsible for all of my kids every day.
But yeah, it isn’t that different.
Now I go go book club on Thursday mornings on my own. I don’t have to bring stickers.
When I fold laundry, I listen to an audiobook instead of his little stories, and I have to match the socks myself.
I usually make dinner on my own without my little helper. (There’s too much going on after school to cook then.).

I mostly kind of miss him.

Sounds like you don’t do much of anything.

She cooks and cleans and takes care of her children after school. That’s plenty.

DP here. I have 3 kids in 3 different schools. I basically have 5 hours from last kid drop off to first kid ending school. I work out, shower, run errands, cook, clean up, etc. There isn’t that much time left. I do meet up with a friend for lunch or go to the spa but it is like once per week.

Your time management skills are severely lacking. I guess it's good you don't have to work because it doesn't sound like you'd make it through a day.

So much hate! How do you know that her time management skills are lacking?

You’d put all three kids in the same school, right? Because you’re so brilliant, yeah? That actually sounds lazy to me. Maybe she’s chosen to make her life a little more difficult to put each kid at the best place for that child. She’s doing it because she can and she wants the best fit for all three.

For a third party like me, it’s obvious that you are seething with jealousy that you do not have the resources to send your kids to three different schools.

No it's pretty obvious she has 5 hours a day, but can't get anything done. Poor time management is most likely it. I say that as SAHM . I see many other SAHM claim it's just so hard and they don't have time for anything it almost always comes down to poor time management or undiagnosed depression and ADHD both of which have a time management component

What exactly am I not getting done? I have three kids and take care of them. I keep our house going. I am not saying I am doing anything more. I am planning a birthday party for one of my kids, spring break and summer.

I have plenty of time. What I don’t have time for is a full time job in my 5 hours the kids are at school. I like working out daily after kids are at school. I am not the type to wake up at 5am to work out before everyone wakes up. By the time I shower after exercise, clean up breakfast, it is already lunchtime. Then I have 2 hours before first kid gets out of school.

I am a fellow SAHM. I think it just boils down to phrasing. People get very prickly on here when you say you “can’t” work or “don’t have time.” Just say you could but choose not to and it works best for your family this way. Saying you don’t have time implies you think they are somehow short-changing someone and that is where they get defensive.

I agree with this. I think many families would function better with a stay at home parent. It’s fine if neither parent wants to stay at home, but there are a lot of families who wish they could afford a sahp and make the difficult sacrifice to work and prioritize their family’s financial well being. When a sahp claims they wouldn’t have time to work, that’s ridiculous and is a jab at the people who do everything you do to run a home and life, but also work full time. We all have the same number of hours in the day. You either don’t have to work or choose not to.

I actual think most families don’t function better with a SAHM.

I think that really bothers some SAHM’s to know some women work and run their house better/same and see their kids just as much,

I’m one of the SAHMs on this thread. It doesn’t bother me at all. Many of my friends work. Most of my kids’ parents work. I don’t necessarily think their house is run better but everyone does what they think is best for their family.

And there you have it. You have to believe they don’t run the same/better for done reason based in your own insecurities.

Yup. And continually post on a thread about working mothers.

So now you are telling other women to shut up? We aren't allowed opinions?

Nobody said that. If you ask a football player how to tackle, and a baseball player tries to answer you might say... let the football player answer the questions why do you need to but in.

The questions was ... working moms, why do you work.

If you want a thread on SAHM's why do you SAH, create a thead.

I'm not interested in creating a thread. I do think everyone should be able to say there opinion regardless if I work or not.

And yet, no one is interested in your opinion on a topic you know nothing about.

And it's their.

Speak for yourself. I am interested. I’m a SAHM who is considering going back to work.

As other people have stated, the type of woman who attracts and marries a highly successful man has the background to get a job.

You’re totally right. When I do job interviews I make sure to understand what kind of man these women have landed because that tells me all I need to know about their qualifications for the job at hand.

It is a well known fact that women discriminate against other women who stayed home. Men are much more sympathetic and understanding.

These men aren't understanding they are patronizing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Well said. I’m not raising my daughter to feel forced into maintaining employment if she doesn’t have to, simply for other hypothetical females. That’s not our family values and that’s not how I am raising her. If it works better for her to stay at home and they can afford it, then let that be their choice.

While we're at it, we should just drain the arctic oil reserves because my gas will be cheaper. We're so lucky to have that choice! It would be crazy not to take advantage of it simply to help other hypothetical humans in the future.