Would you adopt a child with Down Syndrome?

[Anonymous]

Due to years of unresolved secondary infertility we have decided to adopt our second child. We completed a home study and have been waiting for 2 years already. A newborn child has become available who has Down Syndrome. We do not know much about this child yet other than he/she has been meeting his/her developmental milestones on time so far (he/she is 3 months old).

I have a biological son, age 5. I work part-time and we have excellent health insurance and my husband's job is long-term and guaranteed.

What would you do?

[Anonymous]

OP here. Also wanted to add this is domestic newborn adoption.

[Anonymous]

No.

[Anonymous]

No.

[Anonymous]

Yes. This child needs a home, and you have one. You also have a stable home and good insurance. I think this could be great for everyone.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think what matters is what YOU want to do. This decision is incredibly personal. So: what do you want to do?

[Anonymous]

No because I work and couldn't provide this child with the care, money, and attention they'd need.

[Anonymous]

Yes, or at least I would have when I was adopting my child. Although, I would have asked about heart issues.

I'd base that decision on my experience as a special educator who knows many awesome young people with Down syndrome.

[Anonymous]

I’m an adoptive mom of 2. I could see doing this for my first child but would not for subsequent children. I would not think it’s fair to purposely change the lives of my current children in this way. If that’s what life gives you, then you’d deal, but I wouldn’t choose it due to my other child. Would he be responsible for his sibling after we die? Would we be less likely to be able to send him to college due to expenses for the SN child, etc?

[Anonymous]

It depends. Find a way to get in touch with parents of ds children, and talk. You have to decide what you're up to taking on.

[Anonymous]

No, I would not be able to manage the heartache, honestly. These kids have a lot of medical difficulties, and tend to have a shorter lifespan. I would not deliberately take this on.

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure. I have a good friend whose child has DS and it is HARD. Obviously nothing is guaranteed in life but they aren't sure if he will ever live independently (I don't know how high-functioning he is compared to others - I would guess mid-range). His mother's life is very, very difficult. He does bring joy to the family, of course, but it is a long and complicated road. It also has severe effects on their other, older, neurotypical child.

Do you know if you don't adopt this child what the wait would be like for another?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m an adoptive mom of 2. I could see doing this for my first child but would not for subsequent children. I would not think it’s fair to purposely change the lives of my current children in this way. If that’s what life gives you, then you’d deal, but I wouldn’t choose it due to my other child. Would he be responsible for his sibling after we die? Would we be less likely to be able to send him to college due to expenses for the SN child, etc?

9:44 here. These are all serious issues that my friend above is dealing with.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't but I would be deeply impressed by someone who did.

[Anonymous]

No. We couldn't do it.