Would you adopt a child with Down Syndrome?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It depends. Find a way to get in touch with parents of ds children, and talk. You have to decide what you're up to taking on.

+1. Find out about heart health in this child, and then talk to parents of DS children. Spend some time looking for parents of DS adults, too, and ask about what it will mean for your family 40 years from now.

This may actually be reassuring. Or it may help you come up with questions to ask. I am sure there are some forums online where you could talk to some parents rather quickly!

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Yes, because my brother has DS (luckily no heart issues). There are wide ranges of it in terms of severity. I've been around lots of people with DS, and I'd say at least 90% can live quite fulfilling lives. The remaining 10% have it tough -- non-verbal, phsyically-disabled, and often other ailments, like one I knew who had both DS and cerebral palsy.

I know this sounds awful, but it's been on my mind as my parents age. Statistically, you're likely to be at your own child's funeral since few people with DS live past 50. It's going to be an excruciatingly tough time for all of us when that happens in my family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Due to years of unresolved secondary infertility we have decided to adopt our second child. We completed a home study and have been waiting for 2 years already. A newborn child has become available who has Down Syndrome. We do not know much about this child yet other than he/she has been meeting his/her developmental milestones on time so far (he/she is 3 months old).

I have a biological son, age 5. I work part-time and we have excellent health insurance and my husband's job is long-term and guaranteed.

What would you do?

Yes, I would adopt the baby.

[Anonymous]

It depends. If the child were old enough that it could be determined that he or she would be able to attend a regular daycare, school, aftercare, sure. My best friend's daughter has down syndrome and fits these criteria, and she's a great girl and a pleasure to be around. She does to a regular school, and although she has issues in math, she is a better reader than my son, who does not have DS.

[Anonymous]

No, I'd be so worried about what would happen to them once I'm gone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, I'd be so worried about what would happen to them once I'm gone.

9:49 here. There are excellent programs available for adults. My brother became a ward of the state once he became an adult, but my parents were granted rights to make all decisions for him. He's living in a group home paid for by the state, works a job, and has a responsible adult around 24/7. He can handle routine and daily tasks fine, but can't cook and wouldn't know what to do if a fire broke out or something like that (he can't read). The key is to start the process a few years in advance as there can be wait lists.

[Anonymous]

Do you feel like you “have” to take this child because you feel there will be no other options and you have already waited so long? Do you feel “obligated” to take a child with these issues, and that you will look like a bad person if you don’t?

As someone said to us early in our adoption journey, never apologize for wanting a healthy child.

I would pass here, due to the impact on the child you have already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I would pass here, due to the impact on the child you have already.

9:49 again. There are both positive and negatives to having a sibling with DS. It's not just negative.

[Anonymous]

I would not and I'm worried about having a down syndrome kid myself since my wife is over 35

Like others have said, I would be very impressed and would admire anyone deeply who did this

[Anonymous]

Personally, no. I have several friends who have Downs kids and it seems like more work than I'd be able to take on. The cost of therapies and schooling and health care can be extensive, and a lot of municipalities are cutting the programs that benefit special needs kids. Plus I'd be worried about what would happen to my child after I got too old to care for him/her; mentally impaired adults can be very vulnerable to sexual and physical abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, because my brother has DS (luckily no heart issues). There are wide ranges of it in terms of severity. I've been around lots of people with DS, and I'd say at least 90% can live quite fulfilling lives. The remaining 10% have it tough -- non-verbal, phsyically-disabled, and often other ailments, like one I knew who had both DS and cerebral palsy.

I know this sounds awful, but it's been on my mind as my parents age. Statistically, you're likely to be at your own child's funeral since few people with DS live past 50. It's going to be an excruciatingly tough time for all of us when that happens in my family.

Actually, life expectancies for people with DS have improved rapidly. In the past 15 years, the average life span for someone with DS has doubled, and is now 49, which means that even today many people are living past 50. It's likely that that number will continue to climb and that the babies born today will have a different life expectancy as they grow.

I hope your brother is with you for a long time, and vice versa.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, because my brother has DS (luckily no heart issues). There are wide ranges of it in terms of severity. I've been around lots of people with DS, and I'd say at least 90% can live quite fulfilling lives. The remaining 10% have it tough -- non-verbal, phsyically-disabled, and often other ailments, like one I knew who had both DS and cerebral palsy.

I know this sounds awful, but it's been on my mind as my parents age. Statistically, you're likely to be at your own child's funeral since few people with DS live past 50. It's going to be an excruciatingly tough time for all of us when that happens in my family.

Actually, life expectancies for people with DS have improved rapidly. In the past 15 years, the average life span for someone with DS has doubled, and is now 49, which means that even today many people are living past 50. It's likely that that number will continue to climb and that the babies born today will have a different life expectancy as they grow.

I hope your brother is with you for a long time, and vice versa.

That's great news. Any idea the reason behind it? Better medical care?

So far he's had two housemates and a few from his church group pass away over the last 5-10 years. I think some may have been over 50.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I would. These kids are incredibly capable and have a lot of potential, if you offer them the right support and encouragement - which I guess this is something you already do for your other kid. There are so many stereotypes about this condition, but the truth is, these kids ONLY need LOVE and SUPPORT to thrive. A lot of progress has been done in the medical field, they can now live long and fulfilling lives.

[Anonymous]

No, and for completing selfish reasons. Would I be a little mad at myself for being so selfish, yes, but not enough that I would do it.

[Anonymous]

Nope. I have two super easy kids and I'm a terrible parent to them. Imagine how much worse I'd be to a special needs kid.