Would you adopt a child with Down Syndrome?

[Anonymous]

This thread makes me sad that the brith mom gave up her baby with down syndrome.

[Anonymous]

Yes! I know it would not be without its challenges, but I know a few families with a child with DS and that child brings them so much joy. They seem to be the most happy loving people. Good luck in your decision - you are a good person to even be considering it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread makes me sad that the brith mom gave up her baby with down syndrome.

better than aborting! at least the child gets to live and has a chance for a loving family where he or she would be wanted

[Anonymous]

I would seriously consider it. We have adopted two kids with special needs. I'd look into it, have his/her medical files reviewed, and pray and think on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope. I have two super easy kids and I'm a terrible parent to them. Imagine how much worse I'd be to a special needs kid.

Same here. I’m not a good enough parent.

[Anonymous]

I adopted two kids with special needs - not DS. I did it knowingly. I knew from the beginning that no one could predict how well either one would do. I knew that it looked possible and maybe even probable that one or both would never be independent. We were ok with that.

Having a child with SN is really a lot more time consuming than a NT child. I spend a lot of time at doctors, in therapy and securing services through the school. We both work full time so we have to make everything we do for our kids with our jobs.

I don’t know the answer for you, but i haven’t regretted our decisions.

[Anonymous]

Don't listen to the "so much joy" posters. That purely depends on the resources of the parents, the personality of the parents, and the challenges the child faces, which can all vary ENORMOUSLY.

There's no one answer to this; but all adoption involves potential special needs.

I think the questions to ask yourself are: are you the type of family that handles stress well? Do you look on the bright side? Do you feel like parenthood was easy? Do you have a good support network?

If the answers to all those questions are "yes," and you WANT to adopt this baby, then I think it's a good choice.

For me personally, I haven't dealt well with the stress of one child, have a crappy marriage, and weak support network, and not a lot of financial resources. So it would not be a good decision for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't listen to the "so much joy" posters. That purely depends on the resources of the parents, the personality of the parents, and the challenges the child faces, which can all vary ENORMOUSLY.

There's no one answer to this; but all adoption involves potential special needs.

I think the questions to ask yourself are: are you the type of family that handles stress well? Do you look on the bright side? Do you feel like parenthood was easy? Do you have a good support network?

If the answers to all those questions are "yes," and you WANT to adopt this baby, then I think it's a good choice.

For me personally, I haven't dealt well with the stress of one child, have a crappy marriage, and weak support network, and not a lot of financial resources. So it would not be a good decision for me.

Good advice

[Anonymous]

OP here. I think the reason we have been waiting so long to adopt is our ages, DH and I are both 40. I think birth mothers in general prefer younger adoptive parents.

Anyhow, I also wanted to add that one of the main reasons that I am drawn to this child is because this child is the exact same ethnicity/culture as me and my husband (which is rare to find). The thought of being able to provide this child with the exact same traditions/culture of his/her birth parents/family that he/she probably would not be able to experience with another adoptive family, really warms my heart. While we are open to a child of any race/ethnicity, when this child's situation was presented to us and I learned that he/she is of the exact same ethnicity as us, I felt like I could really provide this child with a meaningful environment to grow up in.

Also, by coincidence, this child has the exact same (traditional in our culture) name that I was planning on giving my second child, if I was ever able to have one.

[Anonymous]

I would adopt an toddler or preschooler if I had the financial ability. I feel by that age there is a bit more health and cognitive info available to parents to better understand what the long term may hold. I actually worry about heart health and future medical needs related to that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I think the reason we have been waiting so long to adopt is our ages, DH and I are both 40. I think birth mothers in general prefer younger adoptive parents.

Anyhow, I also wanted to add that one of the main reasons that I am drawn to this child is because this child is the exact same ethnicity/culture as me and my husband (which is rare to find). The thought of being able to provide this child with the exact same traditions/culture of his/her birth parents/family that he/she probably would not be able to experience with another adoptive family, really warms my heart. While we are open to a child of any race/ethnicity, when this child's situation was presented to us and I learned that he/she is of the exact same ethnicity as us, I felt like I could really provide this child with a meaningful environment to grow up in.

Also, by coincidence, this child has the exact same (traditional in our culture) name that I was planning on giving my second child, if I was ever able to have one.

Maybe it's meant to be?!?!? I'd look more into it, get more medical info about this specific child, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I think the reason we have been waiting so long to adopt is our ages, DH and I are both 40. I think birth mothers in general prefer younger adoptive parents.

Anyhow, I also wanted to add that one of the main reasons that I am drawn to this child is because this child is the exact same ethnicity/culture as me and my husband (which is rare to find). The thought of being able to provide this child with the exact same traditions/culture of his/her birth parents/family that he/she probably would not be able to experience with another adoptive family, really warms my heart. While we are open to a child of any race/ethnicity, when this child's situation was presented to us and I learned that he/she is of the exact same ethnicity as us, I felt like I could really provide this child with a meaningful environment to grow up in.

Also, by coincidence, this child has the exact same (traditional in our culture) name that I was planning on giving my second child, if I was ever able to have one.

Before getting too hung up on that, you need to actually get the agency to verify. They are likely depending on self Reported info provided by the mom and it might not be accurate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I think the reason we have been waiting so long to adopt is our ages, DH and I are both 40. I think birth mothers in general prefer younger adoptive parents.

Anyhow, I also wanted to add that one of the main reasons that I am drawn to this child is because this child is the exact same ethnicity/culture as me and my husband (which is rare to find). The thought of being able to provide this child with the exact same traditions/culture of his/her birth parents/family that he/she probably would not be able to experience with another adoptive family, really warms my heart. While we are open to a child of any race/ethnicity, when this child's situation was presented to us and I learned that he/she is of the exact same ethnicity as us, I felt like I could really provide this child with a meaningful environment to grow up in.

Also, by coincidence, this child has the exact same (traditional in our culture) name that I was planning on giving my second child, if I was ever able to have one.

Before getting too hung up on that, you need to actually get the agency to verify. They are likely depending on self Reported info provided by the mom and it might not be accurate.

OP here. I did call and the agency did verify.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread makes me sad that the brith mom gave up her baby with down syndrome.

better than aborting! at least the child gets to live and has a chance for a loving family where he or she would be wanted

Was it? The child may not be adopted. Would you adopt a child with Down's syndrome?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I think the reason we have been waiting so long to adopt is our ages, DH and I are both 40. I think birth mothers in general prefer younger adoptive parents.

Anyhow, I also wanted to add that one of the main reasons that I am drawn to this child is because this child is the exact same ethnicity/culture as me and my husband (which is rare to find). The thought of being able to provide this child with the exact same traditions/culture of his/her birth parents/family that he/she probably would not be able to experience with another adoptive family, really warms my heart. While we are open to a child of any race/ethnicity, when this child's situation was presented to us and I learned that he/she is of the exact same ethnicity as us, I felt like I could really provide this child with a meaningful environment to grow up in.

Also, by coincidence, this child has the exact same (traditional in our culture) name that I was planning on giving my second child, if I was ever able to have one.

Maybe it's meant to be?!?!? I'd look more into it, get more medical info about this specific child, etc.

+1
OP if you are drawn to the child and moved to adopt you absolutely should. Whatever you decide, I wish you the very best.