Would you adopt a child with Down Syndrome?

[Anonymous]

No.

[Anonymous]

no

[Anonymous]

I would say no bc there is no way to know how severe the mental retardation will be and if there will be any co-existing disabilities. Children with Down syndrome are not all fun and cute and loving and cheerful. What you don’t see are the 70 yr old parents changing diapers and worrying about what will happen to their child once they die. There are many cases of abuse towards the disabled elderly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would say no bc there is no way to know how severe the mental retardation will be and if there will be any co-existing disabilities. Children with Down syndrome are not all fun and cute and loving and cheerful. What you don’t see are the 70 yr old parents changing diapers and worrying about what will happen to their child once they die. There are many cases of abuse towards the disabled elderly.

The great majority of people with Ds use the toilet like everyone else.

"Children with *or without* Down syndrome are not all fun and cute and loving and cheerful"

I'm thankful for my child with Ds everyday. To me, having a kid with Ds isn't hard itself. The hard part is dealing with ignorance about Ds, usually coming from people who think they know much more about Ds than they actually do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say no bc there is no way to know how severe the mental retardation will be and if there will be any co-existing disabilities. Children with Down syndrome are not all fun and cute and loving and cheerful. What you don’t see are the 70 yr old parents changing diapers and worrying about what will happen to their child once they die. There are many cases of abuse towards the disabled elderly.

The great majority of people with Ds use the toilet like everyone else.

"Children with *or without* Down syndrome are not all fun and cute and loving and cheerful"

I'm thankful for my child with Ds everyday. To me, having a kid with Ds isn't hard itself. The hard part is dealing with ignorance about Ds, usually coming from people who think they know much more about Ds than they actually do.

I agree with everything you've said!

It doesn't bother me that individuals decide that adopting a child with Down syndrome isn't for them, or that carrying a pregnancy with a child with Down syndrome isn't for them. It does bother me when people justify those choices by making statements that are based on fear and not on actual experiences or knowledge about Down syndrome.

This fear is what hurts people with Down syndrome, the constant underestimation of their potential is what allows people to justify segregation, and the lack of employment options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say no bc there is no way to know how severe the mental retardation will be and if there will be any co-existing disabilities. Children with Down syndrome are not all fun and cute and loving and cheerful. What you don’t see are the 70 yr old parents changing diapers and worrying about what will happen to their child once they die. There are many cases of abuse towards the disabled elderly.

The great majority of people with Ds use the toilet like everyone else.

"Children with *or without* Down syndrome are not all fun and cute and loving and cheerful"

I'm thankful for my child with Ds everyday. To me, having a kid with Ds isn't hard itself. The hard part is dealing with ignorance about Ds, usually coming from people who think they know much more about Ds than they actually do.

I agree with everything you've said!

It doesn't bother me that individuals decide that adopting a child with Down syndrome isn't for them, or that carrying a pregnancy with a child with Down syndrome isn't for them. It does bother me when people justify those choices by making statements that are based on fear and not on actual experiences or knowledge about Down syndrome.

This fear is what hurts people with Down syndrome, the constant underestimation of their potential is what allows people to justify segregation, and the lack of employment options.

I'm the PP above. I agree that there is so much fear and misconception surrounding D's that it is difficult to make an informed decision. Many people say that we are free to love who we want without judgement. However, it seems that doesn't apply if what a person wants is to adopt out have a child with Ds. Suddenly society's consensus sends the message that they are unworthy of love and should not be chosen. It is so ingrained they even those who believe themselves to be open-minded say things without noticing they are speaking against their own value system. Having a child with Ds has brought judgement down on me like I never knew before and it is nuts.

[Anonymous]

*adopt or

[Anonymous]

No

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Again, no. And I would think it extremely selfish of someone in your circumstances- with an older, only, healthy, neurotypical child, to do adopt an infant with DS.
You will be turning your child life upside down.

Oh, and adopting a "normal" child will be a walk in the park for the older kid. So much ignorance.

[Anonymous]

No.
When you are in the waiting period pretty adoption you are in a vulnerable state of mind -- I know from experience The agencies will subtly encourage you at this time Saying a final no to adoption of the SN children they offered us was surprisingly difficult but it is a decision we have never regretted

[Anonymous]

.... period before adoption....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP---I think it is selfish to consider adopting a SN child without seriously thinking through the impact of that adoption on the child that you have. You are saddling your biological child with lifelong responsibility: when you are dead and gone---it is your bio child that will have to shoulder the responsibility for the SN child's care. As an over-50 adult, I have several friends whose parents have passed, leaving them responsible for their siblings with Down's. That is a significant responsibility and you are constraining your bio child's options in adulthood by setting them up with a substantial care burden once you are gone.

I agree with this PP, though I hate to say it because you could offer so much to this child with DS. Our public school system is known for its SN programs, so we have several kids with DS in our schools. OP, you really need to look past infancy/toddlerhood to understand what teen/adult life is like for a person with DS and their caregivers. Only you can decide if you're up to that, but you absolutely must consider your bio DC. If you have virtually no family support, you are dealing your child a very cruel hand once you die. Even if you have a large extended family, care of an adult with SN will primarily fall to the siblings once the parents are gone.

Just really think it through, first and foremost for the child you already have. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No.
When you are in the waiting period pretty adoption you are in a vulnerable state of mind -- I know from experience The agencies will subtly encourage you at this time Saying a final no to adoption of the SN children they offered us was surprisingly difficult but it is a decision we have never regretted

Were these China adoption agencies?

[Anonymous]

No. I do not have the bandwidth for the work that will be required. I find SN parents amazing and heroic - especially those who choose to become parents of SN kids. It is extremely hard work and 100% committment. Also, I am a person who is very anxious. I would be a wreck as a parent and would not be able to keep my shit together.

[Anonymous]

Maybe. My answer would probably be dependent on the financial resources I had to make sure the child (and my older child) had the best future possible. But even then, it would be a hard road. I hope you find the answer you are looking for.