Preschooler didn’t not get to go outside for recess

[Anonymous]

My 4yr old is going through a terrible phase of running off when told it’s time to go inside from the playground. He does it with us and we often end up having to chase him, he thinks it’s a game. When his class lines up he takes off running and a teacher usually has to catch him and walk him inside. They have tried rewards, letting him be the line leader or door holder to try and give him incentive to line up but he thinks it’s hilarious to make people chase him and have all of his friend yelling for him to line up. Well this morning when it was time to line up, he hid and the teachers couldn’t find him. They finally found him underneath a slide. This afternoon they did not allow him to go outside. When I arrived he was sitting in the office with a puzzle, no longer crying but could tell he had been. I was furious. I understand he should not have hid but he is 4 not 10, and an active boy. He was extremely sad about not getting to go outside with his friends. I told the the assistant director that he is to never be forced to stay inside, and that they needed to understand how developmentally in appropriate this consequence was. My husband thinks I over reacted but I thought schools were not allowed to take away outdoor time. How would you have reacted to this scenario?

[Anonymous]

I would have felt terrible for the teachers who couldn't find him.

[Anonymous]

He’s a liability and can’t follow rules. What do you expect? Is this a serious question?

[Anonymous]

Totally appropriate punishment.

[Anonymous]

His running and hiding is a safety and security risk both to him and to the other children in his class, and it doesn't sound you like take that particularly seriously.

You can take a hard line with the preschool on this, but don't be surprised if they tell you that you need to provide a shadow for him at your own expense or find another preschool.

[Anonymous]

Well, maybe next time he will listen then. Consequences are how children learn.

And you might want to google “double negative”. Because the title of your post says he got to go outside.

[Anonymous]

He's 4, not 2. What are you doing to teach him not to run off and hide? That's a safety issue.

[Anonymous]

I would've reacted a long time to go by giving him a very harsh discipline at home. At your preschool they have done everything they can but he is running away. Do you understand, running away? If something were to happen to him on their watch I'm sure you would be suing the pants off of them. There are punishment was more than appropriate and they have been patient for a very long time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:His running and hiding is a safety and security risk both to him and to the other children in his class, and it doesn't sound you like take that particularly seriously.

You can take a hard line with the preschool on this, but don't be surprised if they tell you that you need to provide a shadow for him at your own expense or find another preschool.

+1 you are out of line OP.

[Anonymous]

This is behavior I expect from a 2 yr old. By 4 unless a child is intellectually slow it's reasonable to expect them to understand why it's important to stay with the group, come when called, not hide from parents/teachers, etc. Is your son developmentally delayed?

I think your attitude is wrong.

Most four year olds are active, and as you can see from THE REST OF HIS CLASS, all the OTHER four year olds manage to come when called. The problem is your son, not the school.

[Anonymous]

Furious? At yourself right? Because there teachers absolutely did the right thing.
And line leader? Children shouldn't be "rewarded" for not being able to control themselves; you were lucky they even entertained that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is behavior I expect from a 2 yr old. By 4 unless a child is intellectually slow it's reasonable to expect them to understand why it's important to stay with the group, come when called, not hide from parents/teachers, etc. Is your son developmentally delayed?

I think your attitude is wrong.

Most four year olds are active, and as you can see from THE REST OF HIS CLASS, all the OTHER four year olds manage to come when called. The problem is your son, not the school.

+100

[Anonymous]

Sounds like it is long, long overdue for him to have consequences for bad behavior. That is how children learn to behave better. The teachers are responsible for keeping multiple children safe. At four, he is old enough to know what he should be doing, but he is choosing to misbehave because there are no consequences. They shouldn’t use denying recess as a penalty for other in class behaviors. They certainly should react to bad behavior at recess by not allowing him to go out if he can’t behave. That’s a measured, correct response to try to teach him to behave. If you’re unable to see this, and unable to figure out you’re raising him to do what he wants (which will not end well in his teen aged years) than you have serious parenting deficiencies. Perhaps they are having to deal with his bad behavior because you have failed to do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:His running and hiding is a safety and security risk both to him and to the other children in his class, and it doesn't sound you like take that particularly seriously.

You can take a hard line with the preschool on this, but don't be surprised if they tell you that you need to provide a shadow for him at your own expense or find another preschool.

OP in case you weren't aware, this is a thing. Do you think your child might need this?

[Anonymous]

You’re clearly the problem and you just confirmed that for the school today. Instead of all being in it together with a difficult, defiant child, your ridiculous reaction confirmed that your child is a nightmare because you think he’s special and not deserving of actual discipline. Staying in for recess is 100% appropriate for this behavior and if he was my child I would have suggested it long ago rather than act like running off and needing to be caught was appropriate behavior for his age and that all caretakers just need to roll with it. Time to be a parent, OP.