Preschooler didn’t not get to go outside for recess

[Anonymous]

I hope this is a private preschool and they kick your kid out. Not because of his behavior but because of your ridiculous response. All the other kids and teachers have to stop everything and wait for your bratty kid to decide when he feels like going inside. You were furious at the school? Why weren't you furious at your child? If he doesn't line up and hides he should miss the next recess.

[Anonymous]

Omg you could tell that he'd been CRYING? Good, he should be crying. Maybe he'll teach himself to pull himself together since he's clearly getting no assistance on that front from you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 4yr old is going through a terrible phase of running off when told it’s time to go inside from the playground. He does it with us and we often end up having to chase him, he thinks it’s a game. When his class lines up he takes off running and a teacher usually has to catch him and walk him inside. They have tried rewards, letting him be the line leader or door holder to try and give him incentive to line up but he thinks it’s hilarious to make people chase him and have all of his friend yelling for him to line up. Well this morning when it was time to line up, he hid and the teachers couldn’t find him. They finally found him underneath a slide. This afternoon they did not allow him to go outside. When I arrived he was sitting in the office with a puzzle, no longer crying but could tell he had been. I was furious. I understand he should not have hid but he is 4 not 10, and an active boy. He was extremely sad about not getting to go outside with his friends. I told the the assistant director that he is to never be forced to stay inside, and that they needed to understand how developmentally in appropriate this consequence was. My husband thinks I over reacted but I thought schools were not allowed to take away outdoor time. How would you have reacted to this scenario?

This scenario would have never happened to me. Since that's not what you asked, I would have thanked them for coming up with an appropriate consequence and thought about what we could do at home to help.

And so what he was crying. Guess what? A couple more times of staying inside and I can guarantee you he will stop. At school, anyway. You and your DH can continue to be idiots and run after him. He is going to be a mess, for sure. You stated what they have already tried - the positive reinforcement wasn't working. I guess I should ask: What do you think they should do?

PS - being an "active boy" has nothing to do with hiding. He is being a little shit, and it is disruptive and unfair to everyone else that has to deal with it.

[Anonymous]

This is DCUM consensus. I hope you take this as a sign and I would hope that you go back to the school tomorrow and apologize for you knee jerk reaction.

[Anonymous]

OP, this makes total sense. He ran away this morning and scared the teachers, so he wasn’t allowed outside that afternoon.

They didn’t take away all recess, or even wait until the next day. And he’s 4, definitely old enough for that consequence. He’s also old enough to know better.

You are so out of line.

[Anonymous]

I'm sure others have said this, but from your post, it's pretty obvious why he has behavior problems. You clearly let him get away with murder, and he has you wrapped around his little finger. Grow a spine, OP.

[Anonymous]

My parents were not big spankers, and I was not generally disobedient. We lived in an apartment building with a lobby with big pillars. I used to think it was fun to hide behind the pillars and make my mother find me. One day she called and called and I didn’t come. Then everything got quiet, and eventually I came out and she was gone. I was terrified. I went up the elevator to my apartment and knocked on the door, crying. She opened the door, let me inside and gave me a spanking. I never ever did it again. Looking back, my only thought is “wow I deserved that and good for her”.

Sometimes the simple answer is the easiest. Kids should be afraid to do something dangerous. You should be backing up the school. And taking away recess in pre-k is different from taking away recess in elementary school. They’re already playing most of the time anyway.

[Anonymous]

So what happens when he gets to kindergarten next year? Will this "phase" pass by then? If it doesn't, he is a huge liability just like he is now. He is 4 years old, not 2. My mom wouldn't given me a swift swap on the bottom and I would've had to sit there and watch everyone else play. And parents wonder why the turnover is high in daycare and schools.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s fine too.... he’s obviously not listening and needs consequences. I’m not for taking outdoor time away, but in this case it sounds like he needs it to see what happens when he is being silly and not following the rules. It’s not like they haven’t tried other things. You need to apologize to the school for over reacting. Your angel is not a baby anymore

[Anonymous]

He wasn't listening to the teachers. They tried positive rewards to get him to listen but not only did they not work, but his behaviors intensified. When they became no longer safe, he was given a consequence. And a very appropriate one. The consequence was directly related to the action.

Your problem should be with your child and not the school.

[Anonymous]

He is a liability for the preschool. Do not be surprised if you get a termination notice tomorrow at pick up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So what happens when he gets to kindergarten next year? Will this "phase" pass by then? If it doesn't, he is a huge liability just like he is now. He is 4 years old, not 2. My mom wouldn't given me a swift swap on the bottom and I would've had to sit there and watch everyone else play. And parents wonder why the turnover is high in daycare and schools.

Former teacher here and yup, +1

People like OP are why good teachers quit.

You should be ashamed OP. And I’m so sad for your sons teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would have felt terrible for the teachers who couldn't find him.

+1

Who will you blame if one day they can't find him?

You are way out of line, OP.

[Anonymous]

I too think this is a serious safety issue. They can’t chase him down and watch other kids. At my kids school they aren’t allowed to play hide and seek because the teachers need to know where the kids are at all times. They are not allowed to hide.

It sucks he missed recess, but I’d they can’t control him and have tried other things what are they supposed to do?

I would have just told my son, well if you wait in line you can go to recess. You can try again tomorrow.

[Anonymous]

The only other options are sacking his butt or tying him to a teacher - this seems better. Do you realize that your child could die running off like this??