Stay after spouse cheats

Anonymous
I’m pretty sure my husband is cheating. I’ll probably talk to him tonight. I’m not blameless by any stretch. I treat him very well because t our marriage is basically sexless. I’m confused and broken up by the lies and the idea that he was emotionally intimate with someone else (I get the sex part and I don’t care as much about that). I guess ii’m asking if this is something we can recover from. I’m willing to work on my part but do you think it’s over if one spouse cheats? How can I ever trust him again?
Anonymous
If the sex doesn't bother you but the emotional intimacy does, you should consider letting him get some on the side with boundaries around emotional intimacy. To your other question: many people stay married or fix marriages after affairs.
Anonymous
I posted here a while ago about my ex who cheated, asking from other chumps who stayed. (I eventually left.)

I'm pretty sure every poster said they didn't trust their spouse, and most of them were in it for the money/stability/status. A couple said they really loved their spouse.
Anonymous
Of course he is having sex with another woman. It’s not cheating. You have an open marriage. There is no such thing as a “sexless” marriage. Just means the normal libido person is getting his sex elsewhere.

You’ve known for a long time the marriage is just roommates. What has changed now to make you want to leave a reliable room mate?
Anonymous
Why do expect another women to perform the role of wife in YOUR marriage and not receive a benefit. She ought to get his pension too.
Anonymous
PP here. If yo bdont like that he connects with the other woman, set aside a few funds in your monthly budget and allow him to "sponsor" a college student. The college student doesn't have tobworl a piss-ass job and she gets her tuition paid.

You want to have your cake and eat it too?
Anonymous
Wow! You guys are not getting what i’m saying. I’m willing to have sex with him. I think we got off track and i’d Like to get it back on track. What i’m Saying is that I get that he might h e strayed for the sex and i’m Curious whether it can be put back on track.

He is not blameless either, trust me. There are things he needs to improve but I get that we are all human.
Anonymous
Read chumplady. Do not stay. You deserve better.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Read chumplady. Do not stay. You deserve better.

Really? she’s got a reliable room mate who doesn’t “pressure her” to have sex. Most women would be envious of that deal. How can she possibly do any better?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Read chumplady. Do not stay. You deserve better.


And he deserves a marriage.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Wow! You guys are not getting what i’m saying. I’m willing to have sex with him. I think we got off track and i’d Like to get it back on track. What i’m Saying is that I get that he might h e strayed for the sex and i’m Curious whether it can be put back on track.

He is not blameless either, trust me. There are things he needs to improve but I get that we are all human.


Reconnect and have sex with your husband, you are married. Simple.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Read chumplady. Do not stay. You deserve better.

Really? she’s got a reliable room mate who doesn’t “pressure her” to have sex. Most women would be envious of that deal. How can she possibly do any better?


You are an ass! You make it sound like I bring nothing to the equation. I’m a successful professional woman and a great mother to my children. My husband and I have a great intellectual (and I thought emotional) connection. We have fun together. And until recently (when I assume he started seeing the other person), we enjoyed each ither’s company and had lots of fun together. I love him and have supported him through many really tough emotional times. He is more than a roommate and I have given him a lot and sacrificed a lot for him and his career, all the while finding a way to make mine work too. A real relationship (maybe you have never had one) is about more than sex, although I admit I fell down in the sex part.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Read chumplady. Do not stay. You deserve better.


And he deserves a marriage.


+1
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Read chumplady. Do not stay. You deserve better.

Really? she’s got a reliable room mate who doesn’t “pressure her” to have sex. Most women would be envious of that deal. How can she possibly do any better?


You are an ass! You make it sound like I bring nothing to the equation. I’m a successful professional woman and a great mother to my children. My husband and I have a great intellectual (and I thought emotional) connection. We have fun together. And until recently (when I assume he started seeing the other person), we enjoyed each ither’s company and had lots of fun together. I love him and have supported him through many really tough emotional times. He is more than a roommate and I have given him a lot and sacrificed a lot for him and his career, all the while finding a way to make mine work too. A real relationship (maybe you have never had one) is about more than sex, although I admit I fell down in the sex part.


So be friends with him.
Anonymous
OP, for the sake of clarify, how often were you having sex with your husband or when was the last time?
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