My kid is in a class with a chair thrower

[Anonymous]

I only read up to page 30. I'm the pp with such a child who would love an appropriate classroom setting without a 1:1 aide. Again, these spots are impossible to get, and I'm a parent who actually cares about this stuff. Plenty of these kids are coming from dysfunctional families and have no one to advocate for them.

I agree aides are expensive, but when you tell someone that their child has to choose between a classroom for nonverbal kids or a regular classroom without an aide until they can get documented evidence their kid needs an aide, that's what they are going to do. I and many other parents would happily put our children in such a self contained classroom setting!!

Proof:
1. Do you ever hear of these classrooms having empty slots because people refuse to send their kids? No. They usually have waiting lists of at least 20 kids.

2. There's a law you can't be your own child's 1:1 aide. I know many parents who would happily do it for free.

[Anonymous]

I saw a seemingly exact post like this on Care and Feeding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Counties hide behind LRE to act like it’s the legal requirement for a certain child. In reality mainstream classes are just cheaper. Self-contained is way more expensive so they try to keep anyone they can mainstream. Even if the classroom teacher and the sped teacher and the parents agree the placement is not working, the county will fight it. I’ve seen it happen.

This drives me crazy. I actually want to make it cheaper for ps to have my child. He doesn't belong in a mainstream class. Are there really no other bright, behaviorally challenged children in the entire system that could use such a classroom?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Counties hide behind LRE to act like it’s the legal requirement for a certain child. In reality mainstream classes are just cheaper. Self-contained is way more expensive so they try to keep anyone they can mainstream. Even if the classroom teacher and the sped teacher and the parents agree the placement is not working, the county will fight it. I’ve seen it happen.

Private schools are failing because of this. Parents will not use them and vote to defund them. It is a death spiral.

You know what is also expensive? TJ. But the school board finds the money to help the advanced kids get even more advanced. They found the money for that. So the kids who are just normal are in the classroom with the disruptive kids and the majority go downhill because they don't have the same advocacy power.

What mainstreaming does is turn regular classrooms into special education classrooms, but it is the wrong fit for everyone.

+1

Schools need SPED rooms, but the SPED parents fight it.

Do you know many SPED parents? I have a SN child (non-violent) and have gotten to know a number of parents over the years with kids with issues like absconding from the classroom, violent outbursts, meltdowns, etc. and know multiple families who have fought for special placements for their kids. It’s a battle. It’s frustrating and heartbreaking.

I know 2 families who finally after YEARS got their kids placed in a private school like a PP mentioned. And 2 others who ended up leaving public and footing the bill for a private school on their own (which they’ve admitted they are lucky they can do). But not every family can afford this.

The only parents I know who don’t want special SPED rooms are those whose kids can absolutely be in a mainstream classroom. We shouldn’t be sending kids out of the regular classroom because of minor issues like stimming or difficulty paying attention. Also, SN are so varied that just dumping all the kids with and IEP in a class together makes no sense. One of my kids has speech issues … would you relegate him to a SPED classroom?

Why is there such resistance to pay for private school on their own? Why is the school on the hook for it? Plenty of people choose private schools over public and there's no expectation that someone else foot the bill. Kids only get one shot at school why waste time dithering if you can afford it but are too cheap to pay for the best school your child needs? It's messed up.

You obviously have no idea how much SPED-focused schools cost, and likely grew up in relative wealth. The vast majority of people could never dream of paying for these schools.

Isn’t is crazy that people having kids couldn’t even afford to pay for their school unless it is free.

You are so out of touch.

godforbid we expect people to pay for their kids needs

Nancy Nurse and Fred Firefighter have a baby, Larlo. When he gets to kindergarten, he's diagnosed with ADHD or anxiety or ASD or a number of other possibilities. BTW, none of these are caused by bad parenting and all can result in emotional dysregulation. Tell me, please, how this blue collar, average income family is supposed to suddenly be able to pay hundreds of thousands of medical and private school bills.

Obviously the only answer is to write them a blank check. We don't and won't provide medical care and private schooling to anyone else, but people with special needs children deserve it because...reasons!

Yes, reason. Special education, disability reasons. Reasons you thank your lucky stars your kids don’t have, but by golly, they exist. Parents are not asking for a blank check. They’re begging for educational support, reasonable access to clinicians, compassionate neighbors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Counties hide behind LRE to act like it’s the legal requirement for a certain child. In reality mainstream classes are just cheaper. Self-contained is way more expensive so they try to keep anyone they can mainstream. Even if the classroom teacher and the sped teacher and the parents agree the placement is not working, the county will fight it. I’ve seen it happen.

Private schools are failing because of this. Parents will not use them and vote to defund them. It is a death spiral.

You know what is also expensive? TJ. But the school board finds the money to help the advanced kids get even more advanced. They found the money for that. So the kids who are just normal are in the classroom with the disruptive kids and the majority go downhill because they don't have the same advocacy power.

What mainstreaming does is turn regular classrooms into special education classrooms, but it is the wrong fit for everyone.

+1

Schools need SPED rooms, but the SPED parents fight it.

I'm sure that crazy people exist everywhere, but I and the vast majority of SN parents spend years trying to get our kids into appropriate programs.

Why don't you, right now, come up with ten (10) programs in your area that a child could safely attend without a 1:1 aide?

Now find out how to get the kid into there.

Please post your responses in a new thread, I'm desperate to read it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Counties hide behind LRE to act like it’s the legal requirement for a certain child. In reality mainstream classes are just cheaper. Self-contained is way more expensive so they try to keep anyone they can mainstream. Even if the classroom teacher and the sped teacher and the parents agree the placement is not working, the county will fight it. I’ve seen it happen.

Private schools are failing because of this. Parents will not use them and vote to defund them. It is a death spiral.

You know what is also expensive? TJ. But the school board finds the money to help the advanced kids get even more advanced. They found the money for that. So the kids who are just normal are in the classroom with the disruptive kids and the majority go downhill because they don't have the same advocacy power.

What mainstreaming does is turn regular classrooms into special education classrooms, but it is the wrong fit for everyone.

+1

Schools need SPED rooms, but the SPED parents fight it.

Do you know many SPED parents? I have a SN child (non-violent) and have gotten to know a number of parents over the years with kids with issues like absconding from the classroom, violent outbursts, meltdowns, etc. and know multiple families who have fought for special placements for their kids. It’s a battle. It’s frustrating and heartbreaking.

I know 2 families who finally after YEARS got their kids placed in a private school like a PP mentioned. And 2 others who ended up leaving public and footing the bill for a private school on their own (which they’ve admitted they are lucky they can do). But not every family can afford this.

The only parents I know who don’t want special SPED rooms are those whose kids can absolutely be in a mainstream classroom. We shouldn’t be sending kids out of the regular classroom because of minor issues like stimming or difficulty paying attention. Also, SN are so varied that just dumping all the kids with and IEP in a class together makes no sense. One of my kids has speech issues … would you relegate him to a SPED classroom?

Why is there such resistance to pay for private school on their own? Why is the school on the hook for it? Plenty of people choose private schools over public and there's no expectation that someone else foot the bill. Kids only get one shot at school why waste time dithering if you can afford it but are too cheap to pay for the best school your child needs? It's messed up.

You obviously have no idea how much SPED-focused schools cost, and likely grew up in relative wealth. The vast majority of people could never dream of paying for these schools.

Isn’t is crazy that people having kids couldn’t even afford to pay for their school unless it is free.

You are so out of touch.

godforbid we expect people to pay for their kids needs

Nancy Nurse and Fred Firefighter have a baby, Larlo. When he gets to kindergarten, he's diagnosed with ADHD or anxiety or ASD or a number of other possibilities. BTW, none of these are caused by bad parenting and all can result in emotional dysregulation. Tell me, please, how this blue collar, average income family is supposed to suddenly be able to pay hundreds of thousands of medical and private school bills.

Why wouldn’t they be able to afford a few hundred thousand? They are having kids and kids are expensive. There are many reasons they would need much more than this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ask to be changed to another class. IF your kid get's hurt, file a police report for assault.

CORRECT. This is win-win-win-win:

1. The parents realize that they really need to get their kid into a more supportive environment (perhaps with private assessments if they can afford it, otherwise the school will do a barebones one).
2. The school can finally have some hard evidence to justify initiating a transfer to a private special needs school (paid by the school system), or stay in the same building but have a lot more wraparound services.
3. The child finally gets the help they need.
4. The other children, including OP's child, finally feel safer.

Thank you for explaining this so clearly!

[Anonymous]

Maybe everyone expects too much from free school, and that is the problem. By including the behaviorally challenged and violent kids, this is the result.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe everyone expects too much from free school, and that is the problem. By including the behaviorally challenged and violent kids, this is the result.

I'm not advocating for a return to asylums and prison schools, but there has to be a middle ground for these kids. It must be cheaper to have a self contained classroom than for each kid to have a 1:1 aide

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe everyone expects too much from free school, and that is the problem. By including the behaviorally challenged and violent kids, this is the result.

All “free” schooling is paid for with tax dollars. Including local alternative schools and even boarding schools these types of children go to because their school system can’t meet their needs. Do we need a special classroom in every school for every grade? Does that entail busing kids between schools? Can the parents Hire a private aide instead of relying on the school system? How does one school system account for all these considerations across their school district?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid got home from first grade today and started telling me there is a kid in his class who is mean to other kids and get SO MAD. Today he got SO MAD he threw a chair. So, what is my recourse here?

Be thankful that your child has the ability to self-regulate - this child does not want to be "bad"
Have compassion and teach your child compassion
Have your child ask the student if there is any thing that helps calm them down that they can help with

If your are looking for other "recourse" - maybe pull your child and enroll them in private school?

You are impressively wrong on all counts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid got home from first grade today and started telling me there is a kid in his class who is mean to other kids and get SO MAD. Today he got SO MAD he threw a chair. So, what is my recourse here?

Be thankful that your child has the ability to self-regulate - this child does not want to be "bad"
Have compassion and teach your child compassion
Have your child ask the student if there is any thing that helps calm them down that they can help with

If your are looking for other "recourse" - maybe pull your child and enroll them in private school?

Np. I don’t give a you know what that your 6 year old can’t self regulate, he is d a n g e r o u s. Kids like this should not be allowed in a regular classroom.

THANK YOU. End of thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid got home from first grade today and started telling me there is a kid in his class who is mean to other kids and get SO MAD. Today he got SO MAD he threw a chair. So, what is my recourse here?

Be thankful that your child has the ability to self-regulate - this child does not want to be "bad"
Have compassion and teach your child compassion
Have your child ask the student if there is any thing that helps calm them down that they can help with

If your are looking for other "recourse" - maybe pull your child and enroll them in private school?

Where’s the compassion for the other children in the class? Allowing this to continue does no good for anyone. Not the teachers, not the other students, not the chair thrower. Your compassion is misplaced and misguided. Tolerating this behaviour does not benefit the chair-thrower.

This. The poster who says your recourse is to pull your child and enroll them in private school is an A$$. My kid has a right to go to public school and not be subjected to repeated violent behavior by another child in the room and never addressed. Ridiculous on a level that I can't even fathom.

Yes, of course your kid is entitled to that, but it doesn’t exist. So?

It can exist. Violent kids go virtual. Next!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Violent kid should be moved into a virtual classroom ASAP.

No.

Yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My cousin teaches 4th grade and she has a desk thrower in her class and the administration refuses to do anything. The kid started out in K as a chair thrower and became a desk thrower as he got bigger and stronger.

Parents: “Have empathy for the chair thrower! Big feelings!!!”
Also parents: “wait, why are teachers quitting???”