How do you approach/ask for sex?

[Anonymous]

How do you go about asking your partner to have sex. Or do you ask?

Last night, my boyfriend came over. We had sex that morning. He looked at me after he got there and after we were saying "Hello" and asked me, "Are we going to have sex tonight?"

I feel like he was basically saying, "You're having sex with me tonight, right?"

No kissing. No hugging.

I was offended because I don't like to be asked in that way...I would like to give him better tools for next time on how to ask me, or insinuate he wants sex, but not sure how to verbalize it other than coming off mean to him and cold...thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Probably all the sexual harrassment stuff in the news. He's getting clear consent.

[Anonymous]

so you don't like that, hmm, ok.

instead, would you rather he pout and act grumpy if he doesn't get to have sex?

or would you rather that he push your head down to his crothc and make you give him a BJ? or for him just take you and have his way with you, even if you're weren't in the mood for it?

[Anonymous]

Kiss on the neck to explicit texts to wearing or not wearing certain clothing and sometimes yes it's " You want to fish?"

I know someone whose spouse just turns down the bed coves if he wants some action.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you go about asking your partner to have sex. Or do you ask?

Last night, my boyfriend came over. We had sex that morning. He looked at me after he got there and after we were saying "Hello" and asked me, "Are we going to have sex tonight?"

I feel like he was basically saying, "You're having sex with me tonight, right?"

No kissing. No hugging.

I was offended because I don't like to be asked in that way...I would like to give him better tools for next time on how to ask me, or insinuate he wants sex, but not sure how to verbalize it other than coming off mean to him and cold...thoughts?

Woman here.

I tell DH that I think he's looking very handsome today and suggest that he prepare himself to be ravished after the kids go to bed.

[Anonymous]

Usually there is a special lingering kiss near my ear where she says something instantly hot, like "I'm not wearing panties" or "I set the special lube out"...you can't make this rocket science!

[Anonymous]

Maybe he wanted to know if there was no chance for it so he wouldn't keep his hopes up. It seems immature, but I don't think he was trying to be an ass.

[Anonymous]

Guy here... although not very romantic, he's actually saying two things: he wants you, and is there permission to try to seduce you etc. Else he runs the risk of trying a move, and finding it in a very awkward way, you weren't interested,
You rather just curl up and watch Law & Order. In which case, he can hang out with you for a while, and then hit the road.

Unfortunately, dear women-of-earth, if you do not communicate clearly your interest in sex or seduction, then the safest thing for us to do is ask. Rather than ask DCUM, you should tell him how you like it. Is it ravishing you from the moment you open the door? Or to light candles and quote Shakespeare? Interestingly enough, whatever you tell us that helps us get closer to the cookie, that is what we will do.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes its, 'wanna do it?'

Sometimes its cuddling in bed and a hand straying to an area that says, 'this is more than cuddling'.

You make your own language in a relationship.

[Anonymous]

My DH will often say "It would be nice to have a date tonight" and I know what he means. I will usually respond "If you are nice to me". He would never say "are we going to have sex tonight?" That's just crude.

[Anonymous]

How old are you? Early 20s?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guy here... although not very romantic, he's actually saying two things: he wants you, and is there permission to try to seduce you etc. Else he runs the risk of trying a move, and finding it in a very awkward way, you weren't interested,
You rather just curl up and watch Law & Order. In which case, he can hang out with you for a while, and then hit the road.

Unfortunately, dear women-of-earth, if you do not communicate clearly your interest in sex or seduction, then the safest thing for us to do is ask. Rather than ask DCUM, you should tell him how you like it. Is it ravishing you from the moment you open the door? Or to light candles and quote Shakespeare? Interestingly enough, whatever you tell us that helps us get closer to the cookie, that is what we will do.

He could ask in a way that was slightly more romantic than "Are we going to have sex tonight?" I am not OP, but if my husband asked like that, I would feel pressured and annoyed. Even "Would you like to have sex tonight?" would be better.

[Anonymous]

My DH would answer this question by saying "I beg".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guy here... although not very romantic, he's actually saying two things: he wants you, and is there permission to try to seduce you etc. Else he runs the risk of trying a move, and finding it in a very awkward way, you weren't interested,
You rather just curl up and watch Law & Order. In which case, he can hang out with you for a while, and then hit the road.

Unfortunately, dear women-of-earth, if you do not communicate clearly your interest in sex or seduction, then the safest thing for us to do is ask. Rather than ask DCUM, you should tell him how you like it. Is it ravishing you from the moment you open the door? Or to light candles and quote Shakespeare? Interestingly enough, whatever you tell us that helps us get closer to the cookie, that is what we will do.

He could ask in a way that was slightly more romantic than "Are we going to have sex tonight?" I am not OP, but if my husband asked like that, I would feel pressured and annoyed. Even "Would you like to have sex tonight?" would be better.

I think its all in the tone of voice. But I am a woman and have to admit that sometimes this is good. Sometimes I want to have sex and keep throwing hints and my DH doesn't pick up on it and then I'm convinced he's rejecting me. Something to be said for just being open about it.

[Anonymous]

Go to las vegas.