How do you approach/ask for sex?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have cute code words we can use so the kids don't understand. But sometimes we'll whisper truly smutty things to eachother...creating the expectation for evening antics.

Don't complicate things. Be direct. Have fun!

I like romance as well. Heck, I literally made my husband watch a clip from Outlander to show him how to properly wake a woman for sex. But as much as I like romance, I also like it when he grabs me and whispers something smutty (like what he plans to do to me that night).

What episode, please?

Season 1, episode 111: The Devil's Mark. It's near the end. He thinks it's their last night together. She's sleeping, and he gently awakens her...slowly...using his hands. Then he focuses on her.

If you haven't watched the series, you should. I actually showed my husband a few select episodes (the wedding episode in season 1 is great). It's a very passionate love story, and the male lead is very old school when it comes to romance and foreplay.

If you don't have Starz, you can buy the app for $8.99 and binge all 3 seasons.

Too rapey

Did you even watch it? It's not rapey at all. She wakes up, is clearly into it, and begs him to...well ya know.

If you watch the series (or google "what outlander can teach Hollywood about consent"), you would realize that he always asks if he can kiss her/touch her/whatever. He'll ask her if she wants him.

Did he get her consent before waking her up? Just because she had sex with him earlier, that doesn't mean she consents now. I understand how, in fiction, this might be hot. But, in real life, you can't just grope a sleeping woman and hope she wakes up and decides she's into it.

Are you married? I am, and so are the characters in the show.

This forum is so interesting. As a happily married woman (DH and I have been together for 25 years, married for 20), i think most of the people in unhappy marriages created their own misery by not prioritizing sexual intimacy. FTR, either party in a happy marriage most certainly CAN arouse their sleeping partner for sex. There's obviously a right way and a clumsy way to do this. Jamie Fraser does it the right way.

Do you married people really speak to your spouses in blunt contractual terms to secure consent before touching? "May I hug you, Dave?" I suspect your kind simply doesn't have real intimacy...or fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you go about asking your partner to have sex. Or do you ask?

Last night, my boyfriend came over. We had sex that morning. He looked at me after he got there and after we were saying "Hello" and asked me, "Are we going to have sex tonight?"

I feel like he was basically saying, "You're having sex with me tonight, right?"

No kissing. No hugging.

I was offended because I don't like to be asked in that way...I would like to give him better tools for next time on how to ask me, or insinuate he wants sex, but not sure how to verbalize it other than coming off mean to him and cold...thoughts?

Woman here.

I tell DH that I think he's looking very handsome today and suggest that he prepare himself to be ravished after the kids go to bed.

What’s a little sexual assault between friends?

[Anonymous]

Don't forget to say "please."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have cute code words we can use so the kids don't understand. But sometimes we'll whisper truly smutty things to eachother...creating the expectation for evening antics.

Don't complicate things. Be direct. Have fun!

I like romance as well. Heck, I literally made my husband watch a clip from Outlander to show him how to properly wake a woman for sex. But as much as I like romance, I also like it when he grabs me and whispers something smutty (like what he plans to do to me that night).

What episode, please?

Season 1, episode 111: The Devil's Mark. It's near the end. He thinks it's their last night together. She's sleeping, and he gently awakens her...slowly...using his hands. Then he focuses on her.

If you haven't watched the series, you should. I actually showed my husband a few select episodes (the wedding episode in season 1 is great). It's a very passionate love story, and the male lead is very old school when it comes to romance and foreplay.

If you don't have Starz, you can buy the app for $8.99 and binge all 3 seasons.

Too rapey

Did you even watch it? It's not rapey at all. She wakes up, is clearly into it, and begs him to...well ya know.

If you watch the series (or google "what outlander can teach Hollywood about consent"), you would realize that he always asks if he can kiss her/touch her/whatever. He'll ask her if she wants him.

Did he get her consent before waking her up? Just because she had sex with him earlier, that doesn't mean she consents now. I understand how, in fiction, this might be hot. But, in real life, you can't just grope a sleeping woman and hope she wakes up and decides she's into it.

Are you married? I am, and so are the characters in the show.

This forum is so interesting. As a happily married woman (DH and I have been together for 25 years, married for 20), i think most of the people in unhappy marriages created their own misery by not prioritizing sexual intimacy. FTR, either party in a happy marriage most certainly CAN arouse their sleeping partner for sex. There's obviously a right way and a clumsy way to do this. Jamie Fraser does it the right way.

Do you married people really speak to your spouses in blunt contractual terms to secure consent before touching? "May I hug you, Dave?" I suspect your kind simply doesn't have real intimacy...or fun.

Yes they do and that scenes is very rapey. There was a thread about that subject. Many of the posters complained about waking up with their partner/husband/boyfriend “doing it” to them. Their partner would claim they were really into it, but the woman did not remember anything but being asleep. I had a friend who said she was sleeping and woke up riding on top.

So if someone is sleeping you can not tough them. This is more relevant now with the me too stuff. If you are a men, do not touch an unconscious woman. Even if she is you wife/girlfriend etc. You could find yourself in jail and or shamed on social media. Let’s face it there is no way to defend...well she was sleeping(unconscious) and I just started touching her...

The same applies for women touch an unconscious guy. You just can not do that.

[Anonymous]

DH and I have been married 35 years. Sunday night is almost always a sure thing so there isn't a lot of asking. We are good for at least one more night a week and a few early evening hugs can get me jump started. In all of our years together he's never said "let's have sex" or "let's f---". He doesn't talk that way. I will say "I've missed you" and he gets the message.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have cute code words we can use so the kids don't understand. But sometimes we'll whisper truly smutty things to eachother...creating the expectation for evening antics.

Don't complicate things. Be direct. Have fun!

I like romance as well. Heck, I literally made my husband watch a clip from Outlander to show him how to properly wake a woman for sex. But as much as I like romance, I also like it when he grabs me and whispers something smutty (like what he plans to do to me that night).

What episode, please?

Season 1, episode 111: The Devil's Mark. It's near the end. He thinks it's their last night together. She's sleeping, and he gently awakens her...slowly...using his hands. Then he focuses on her.

If you haven't watched the series, you should. I actually showed my husband a few select episodes (the wedding episode in season 1 is great). It's a very passionate love story, and the male lead is very old school when it comes to romance and foreplay.

If you don't have Starz, you can buy the app for $8.99 and binge all 3 seasons.

Too rapey

Did you even watch it? It's not rapey at all. She wakes up, is clearly into it, and begs him to...well ya know.

If you watch the series (or google "what outlander can teach Hollywood about consent"), you would realize that he always asks if he can kiss her/touch her/whatever. He'll ask her if she wants him.

Did he get her consent before waking her up? Just because she had sex with him earlier, that doesn't mean she consents now. I understand how, in fiction, this might be hot. But, in real life, you can't just grope a sleeping woman and hope she wakes up and decides she's into it.

Are you married? I am, and so are the characters in the show.

This forum is so interesting. As a happily married woman (DH and I have been together for 25 years, married for 20), i think most of the people in unhappy marriages created their own misery by not prioritizing sexual intimacy. FTR, either party in a happy marriage most certainly CAN arouse their sleeping partner for sex. There's obviously a right way and a clumsy way to do this. Jamie Fraser does it the right way.

Do you married people really speak to your spouses in blunt contractual terms to secure consent before touching? "May I hug you, Dave?" I suspect your kind simply doesn't have real intimacy...or fun.

Yes they do and that scenes is very rapey. There was a thread about that subject. Many of the posters complained about waking up with their partner/husband/boyfriend “doing it” to them. Their partner would claim they were really into it, but the woman did not remember anything but being asleep. I had a friend who said she was sleeping and woke up riding on top.

So if someone is sleeping you can not tough them. This is more relevant now with the me too stuff. If you are a men, do not touch an unconscious woman. Even if she is you wife/girlfriend etc. You could find yourself in jail and or shamed on social media. Let’s face it there is no way to defend...well she was sleeping(unconscious) and I just started touching her...

The same applies for women touch an unconscious guy. You just can not do that.

So you have never awakened your spouse, and your spouse has never awakened you? That's rather sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you go about asking your partner to have sex. Or do you ask?

Last night, my boyfriend came over. We had sex that morning. He looked at me after he got there and after we were saying "Hello" and asked me, "Are we going to have sex tonight?"

I feel like he was basically saying, "You're having sex with me tonight, right?"

No kissing. No hugging.

I was offended because I don't like to be asked in that way...I would like to give him better tools for next time on how to ask me, or insinuate he wants sex, but not sure how to verbalize it other than coming off mean to him and cold...thoughts?

I don't think this boyfriend is right for you. It sounds like you have different ways of communication and I don't think either of you will be happy. Btw, I wouldn't like what your boyfriend did either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you go about asking your partner to have sex. Or do you ask?

Last night, my boyfriend came over. We had sex that morning. He looked at me after he got there and after we were saying "Hello" and asked me, "Are we going to have sex tonight?"

I feel like he was basically saying, "You're having sex with me tonight, right?"

No kissing. No hugging.

I was offended because I don't like to be asked in that way...I would like to give him better tools for next time on how to ask me, or insinuate he wants sex, but not sure how to verbalize it other than coming off mean to him and cold...thoughts?

Does your boyfriend usually have to initiate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Probably all the sexual harrassment stuff in the news. He's getting clear consent.

Yep.
First the feminists were infuriated by men seducing them. There are some men that rape but than the rest of normal men are vilified because of them.
Now, that men are clear with their intentions and clearly asks for permission, feminists are offended again.
i think men should just stay away from feminists or feminism-leaning women, including all leftist and urban women.

[Anonymous]

We schedule sex. Like, literally, take out the calendars and try to figure out the best day of the week when she will be least tired. It helps tremendously. I don't have to pester her and risk constant rejection. Also, I am not sexually frustrated, keeping the gun loaded on the chance sex might happen.

Romantic, not really but the scheduled sex is hotter than the spontaneous sex that she used to lie back and take.

[Anonymous]

We literally just ask each other , do you want to have sex tonight? We are just direct and it works for us.

[Anonymous]

We're direct and to the point when it comes to sex. I'll just ask him Are we going to f*** or I'll say I've been a bad girl want to come spank me. His go to is want to blow me. Or one of us will start groping the other during the day. After 24 years together this works for us and we both like the vulgarness.

[Anonymous]

I have my lawyer call her lawyer. Draw up a consent form and off to the races!

Spontaneity is highly over rated.

[Anonymous]

I say "Put this on. You're about to get boned."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have cute code words we can use so the kids don't understand. But sometimes we'll whisper truly smutty things to eachother...creating the expectation for evening antics.

Don't complicate things. Be direct. Have fun!

I like romance as well. Heck, I literally made my husband watch a clip from Outlander to show him how to properly wake a woman for sex. But as much as I like romance, I also like it when he grabs me and whispers something smutty (like what he plans to do to me that night).

What episode, please?

Season 1, episode 111: The Devil's Mark. It's near the end. He thinks it's their last night together. She's sleeping, and he gently awakens her...slowly...using his hands. Then he focuses on her.

If you haven't watched the series, you should. I actually showed my husband a few select episodes (the wedding episode in season 1 is great). It's a very passionate love story, and the male lead is very old school when it comes to romance and foreplay.

If you don't have Starz, you can buy the app for $8.99 and binge all 3 seasons.

Too rapey

Did you even watch it? It's not rapey at all. She wakes up, is clearly into it, and begs him to...well ya know.

If you watch the series (or google "what outlander can teach Hollywood about consent"), you would realize that he always asks if he can kiss her/touch her/whatever. He'll ask her if she wants him.

Did he get her consent before waking her up? Just because she had sex with him earlier, that doesn't mean she consents now. I understand how, in fiction, this might be hot. But, in real life, you can't just grope a sleeping woman and hope she wakes up and decides she's into it.

Are you married? I am, and so are the characters in the show.

This forum is so interesting. As a happily married woman (DH and I have been together for 25 years, married for 20), i think most of the people in unhappy marriages created their own misery by not prioritizing sexual intimacy. FTR, either party in a happy marriage most certainly CAN arouse their sleeping partner for sex. There's obviously a right way and a clumsy way to do this. Jamie Fraser does it the right way.

Do you married people really speak to your spouses in blunt contractual terms to secure consent before touching? "May I hug you, Dave?" I suspect your kind simply doesn't have real intimacy...or fun.

Yes they do and that scenes is very rapey. There was a thread about that subject. Many of the posters complained about waking up with their partner/husband/boyfriend “doing it” to them. Their partner would claim they were really into it, but the woman did not remember anything but being asleep. I had a friend who said she was sleeping and woke up riding on top.

So if someone is sleeping you can not tough them. This is more relevant now with the me too stuff. If you are a men, do not touch an unconscious woman. Even if she is you wife/girlfriend etc. You could find yourself in jail and or shamed on social media. Let’s face it there is no way to defend...well she was sleeping(unconscious) and I just started touching her...

The same applies for women touch an unconscious guy. You just can not do that.

So you have never awakened your spouse, and your spouse has never awakened you? That's rather sad.

So you are admitting to raping your spouse. How sick.