Moms with "big" jobs - mentor me

[Anonymous]

My job has taken off and increasingly I'm competing against people working 50-60 hrs a week. I have tons of opportunity, responsibility and I manage more and more people.

I absolutely love my job and I would like to keep doing it. Kids are 1 and 4 so it feels like a struggle some of the time in the obvious ways.

I have a lot of autonomy in my job, so I don't need to worry about "face" time. I can hire and delegate as long as I have the money and can work on my budget.

So far I got an assistant who I am training to do as much as I can and trying more. Cut out my commute (I work in an inexpensive enough place this is feasible). I also do the obvious of ordering everything on Amazon, delivery groceries, hiring a cleaner, etc. DH is great and has a flexible job but is actually also very busy so there are limits.

I'm thinking about asking my nanny for more hours and DH for an afternoon or morning each weekend to work. I manage right now to actually be out of the house only 9-5 (although I do a lot of work at home when the kids are sleeping, and honestly, I'm exhausted.) But I'd love to hear any thoughts about how you make it work. Good or bad, I'm not special.

[Anonymous]

Don't pile too much on the assistant. Of if you do, give them a raise. He/she will leave and then you'll be screwed.

[Anonymous]

Whatever you do, please don't bitch and complain constantly about how "stressed" you are when this is your own choosing.

[Anonymous]

Get someone to manage your home, separate from child care. This may be 20 hrs/week thru full time. Get someone for laundry 1x/week. The house manager might prepare meals too. Just staff up - you'll know when it is enough.

[Anonymous]

Delegate delegate delegate. At home AND at work. What chores and childcare is important to do yourself? Is it meal preparation? Bedtime? Morning routine?

Anything that isn't important to you - hire it out.

[Anonymous]

Can you pinpoint what is so tiring? What if you picked 2 nights a week to stay late at the office - then did regular 9 hr days the rest of the time? If you also work 4-8 hrs on the weekend that adds up:

3 weekdays at 8hrs = 24
2 weekdays at 12 hrs = 24
weekend 4-8 hrs

= 52-56 hrs/week

[Anonymous]

Why on earth do you want that life?

[Anonymous]

I want to be mentored too!! Why is it that men with these jobs don't get these kinds of comments and the mentorship.

[Anonymous]

As a smaller point find someone who will help clean out your wardrobe and get rid of what no longer works and shop with you to fill in the gaps. I spent about 6 hours over 2 days with someone like this and now I could put anything in my closet on and look good. Just getting rid of the what should I wear question every morning is helpful. It also simplifies my day to go to the same place every day for lunch.

[Anonymous]

Virtual assistant service. I use fancyhands.com but there are a few out there. I have them make calls for me all the time. Even little stuff like call the hotel I'm staying at to find out about check-in time or little things like that. You may think it's not worth it, but it adds up. Next time you're stuck making a call like that, notice on your phone after how many minutes it actually took. It's usually 10+ minutes including getting through the tree of numbers to presss, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why on earth do you want that life?

you'd never ask a man that ...

[Anonymous]

This is a good question. I now work part time as an attorney and I'm happy but when I worked full time I realize in hindsight I should have hired out for way more help.

If you have a house cleaner consider getting one to come more often or I like the idea of some kind of housekeeper help to prepare meals / pack lunches, do laundry, every day dishes etc.

You didn't mention if you have a yard but I have a lawn mower company and we *should* have a landscaper if we cared how the yard looked.

My oldest has ADHD so now I feel the tutoring is "legitimate" but before I knew that I had a tutor to help with schoolwork. I felt kind of crazy about that but I reasoned that moms do help kids with schoolwork and I was outsourcing that.

I haven't done this but I feel I spend a lot of time planning bday parties for my kids and planning vacations. If money was no object I would hire a party planner and travel agents.

Put your husband in charge of buying gifts for the kid when your kids get invited to parties if he is willing & able to do that.

I also know of someone who had a regularly scheduled babysitter every Wednesday evening and that way she or her husband could always plan to stay late that night at work or do something else.

I used to use the website Treat to send bday cards to family members. Once a year I could go on there and write / schedule the cards for the entire following year and Treat would mail the cards at the correct time. You could put the address in once and it would save it for the future so that saved time in subsequent years. Unfortunately I was apparently the only one using this service and Treat has gone out of business. If anyone knows of another company that does this now please let me know!

[Anonymous]

A service like Stitch Fix for your clothes - I had wanted to try Trunk which is Nordstrom I think.

[Anonymous]

Curious what you do that you love so much OP? Sounds like a great set-up at the office re: autonomy and budgeting needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Virtual assistant service. I use fancyhands.com but there are a few out there. I have them make calls for me all the time. Even little stuff like call the hotel I'm staying at to find out about check-in time or little things like that. You may think it's not worth it, but it adds up. Next time you're stuck making a call like that, notice on your phone after how many minutes it actually took. It's usually 10+ minutes including getting through the tree of numbers to presss, etc.

Uhhh... you need amazon echo